Forums > Personal > OAP Attacked On Queenzone

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-fatty- 2850 user not visiting Queenzone.com
-fatty- 2850
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 07:03 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Police are appealing for witnesses after a 80 year old Queenzoner was attacked in the personal forum in the early hours of Tuesday morning. Fatty (85) was shuffling down memory lane when he was attacked from behind. The 90 year old was then subjected to a vicious beating which left him fighting for his life and his big bag of Werthers Originals strewn across the ground.

Doctors at the Eric & Demeter Memorial Hospital said that the 95 year old’s face looked as though it had been repeatedly struck with a hammer before being defecated on, although there are unconfirmed reports that he looked like that before the attack.

Police have since arrested a council estate chav who has been named as 13 year old Vishnu in connection with the attack on the 100 year old Queenzone veteran. A spokesman for the cider drinking yob issued a statement to press gathered outside Dudley Fufkin police station.
“Yeah I done the old geezer in. Wot you lot going to do about it anyway? He had it comin for mouthing off to me.”

Queenzoners were gathered outside the hospital this morning in a silent vigil for fatty (105) and many were too upset to talk to our reporters.
“It’s so sad that this sort of thing could happen to a 110 year old man,” said Janet with tears welling up in her beautiful green eyes. “We have had a lot of trouble around Queenzone lately from gangs of teenagers roaming around the forums but I never believed it would come to this.
Deaconjohn also paid tribute to the 115 year old. “He was a smashing fella. I bought him a pint way back in 2004 and I just hope he pulls through so the tight fisted old bastard can buy me one back.”
Several attractive young ladies who asked not to be named or actually brought into existence have entered into a suicide pact and plan to jump off a tall building should the 120 year old pass away.

While many Queenzoners had gathered in support of the fatty (125) others had gathered to show their utter contempt for the rotund prick. Among them were international rock stars Donny Mars and Innuendo1990. “Yeah we’ve just taken time out of our busy world tours to come here and throw bricks through the fat bastards window.” said the 11 year old Mars.

Doctors have said that things are looking rather grim for the 125 year old fatty. “Although he is no longer on the critical list, he’s not out of the woods yet. This morning he could only manage three breakfasts.”


bohemian 11513 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 07:10 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

fatty wrote:

...This morning he could only manage three breakfasts.”


...while humming to Paul McCartney´s Senior Delux Edition of "Memory Full" I guess?! ;-)


Shoot for the moon... even if you fail you will land among the stars!

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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 09:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

My GOD, the poor Werther's Originals..........


Wo ist das kamerahhhhhhhhhhh!!!



NJ!!!























JoxerTheDeityPirate user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 09:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

inspector Knockers,the officer in charge of this case codename "operation billy bunter" has released the following statement:
"following on from our further investigation we can now reveal the latest details.the 130 year old man lying in his hospital bed is being kept alive on a diet of cold soup and is his having his wounds treated with goose fat.a vital clue was found at the scene of the crime,a small trail of what appears to be Cookies were found on the bald scalp of the geriatric fat man plus an IOU for a pint of beer with the letters F A T T Y printed on the bottom of a piece of paper was found in a sewn up trouser pocket of the victims crushed velvet pantiloons."
inspector Knockers has said that more details will follow dreckly..



isnt innuendo an italian suppository?

im gonna ride the wild wind!

its_a_hard_life wrote:you nutcase you rule!

joxer replies: but in a nice way :-]

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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 09:38 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

fatty, fatty, fatty....

;-)


-If you want the best seat in the house, you have to move the cat.





steven 35638 user not visiting Queenzone.com
Band ten hut!
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 09:59 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

That's amazing. :)


"Fuck today, it's tomorrow." - Freddie Mercury
Sergei. user not visiting Queenzone.com
Impresario, still
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 10:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hehehe. I still think fatty's funny. ;P
EDIT: Even if he think's I'm a malevolent little pustule... >_>


Back whenever
Erin user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 10:13 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Poor fatty....*sob* :-(

its_a_hard_life 26994 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 10:48 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

LMAO...

Robin user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 11:14 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Oh, Fatty, why did I stay away so long? We old timers have to stick together.


Robin









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Delilah, on Medium Power
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 12:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

fatty wrote:

Several attractive young ladies who asked not to be named or actually brought into existence have entered into a suicide pact and plan to jump off a tall building should the 120 year old pass away.


Those aren't ladies, fatty forgets this is Queenzone. Good luck with all that fatty (130), Christ, you're old. About time these kind of stories are back, must be seasonal.

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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 13:44 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"About time these kind of stories are back, must be seasonal."

Seasonal? I wonder where fatty has been all this time.

http://www.whales.org.au/discover/blue/blued.html

Well, I guess it doesn't really matter. I'm glad he is back.

Vincent. user not visiting Queenzone.com
What?
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 14:20 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Haha... Funny! :D

JoxerTheDeityPirate user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 14:37 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

inspector Knockers has revealed a plot by the patient to get 2 loaves of bread smuggled in to the hospital but was thrawted by the local vicar, so he is being forced to eat fruit.

inspector Knockers said the following:

"today,due to the current situation in the UK a routine safety check was carried out in a local hospital.it was done so purely for the benefit of our patients.one of the patients,an osama bin fatty was found to be smuggling 2 loaves of bread in via the local baker,a woman by the name of Janet.unfortunately his accomplice was stopped in the hallway of room 101 by the local vicar so he never got to see Janet's bloomers as once he got to Pastor Kidneys she was unable to take it any further.the patient was left to suck on the vicar's plums instead which he found quite juicy."

more developments will no doubt follow..


isnt innuendo an italian suppository?

im gonna ride the wild wind!

its_a_hard_life wrote:you nutcase you rule!

joxer replies: but in a nice way :-]

JoxerTheDeityPirate user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 18:57 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

its day 2 in the hospital for fatty as he recovers from his ordeal and he is bored and looking out of the window while the nurse treats his wounds with more goose fat.
fatty is looking out the window at cute young birds.fatty likes young birds.he notices that there is a pair of PARUS CAERULEUS trying to build a new home in the tree outside his downtrodden flea ridden hospital bedroom window.
as he looks closer at the young birds their newly built home falls out the tree and to the floor right in front of another nurse enjoying a drag on her fag.due to the new draconian laws brought in by this government fags can only be enjoyed outside now,one cannot put a fag in their mouth inside a public building [see a pic of george michael].
fatty is delighted though when the nurse stops sucking on her fag and picks up the birds home,the birds home is in a mess now but she decides to climb the tree with the birds home between her thighs as she shimmys up and put it back to where it was.fatty is now getting quite excited watching the birds which distracts the nurse treating him with the goose fat..

"what are you looking at?" asks his nurse.
fatty replies,"im looking at the nurse outside with the nice pair of tits.shes climbing the tree and i can see that she has an untidy nest between her legs,it really is in a mess"
did you know goose fat can be applied orally?
fatty does...


isnt innuendo an italian suppository?

im gonna ride the wild wind!

its_a_hard_life wrote:you nutcase you rule!

joxer replies: but in a nice way :-]

Miss Multiples aka colfarrell1 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 19:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

joxertheteddybearpirate wrote:

its day 2 in the hospital for fatty as he recovers from his ordeal and he is bored and looking out of the window while the nurse treats his wounds with more goose fat.
fatty is looking out the window at cute young birds.fatty likes young birds.he notices that there is a pair of PARUS CAERULEUS trying to build a new home in the tree outside his downtrodden flea ridden hospital bedroom window.
as he looks closer at the young birds their newly built home falls out the tree and to the floor right in front of another nurse enjoying a drag on her fag.due to the new draconian laws brought in by this government fags can only be enjoyed outside now,one cannot put a fag in their mouth inside a public building [see a pic of george michael].
fatty is delighted though when the nurse stops sucking on her fag and picks up the birds home,the birds home is in a mess now but she decides to climb the tree with the birds home between her thighs as she shimmys up and put it back to where it was.fatty is now getting quite excited watching the birds which distracts the nurse treating him with the goose fat..

"what are you looking at?" asks his nurse.
fatty replies,"im looking at the nurse outside with the nice pair of tits.shes climbing the tree and i can see that she has an untidy nest between her legs,it really is in a mess"
did you know goose fat can be applied orally?
fatty does...


o dear dear dear.. Very funny! Only you could come up with that.. i will be gossiping with the great tit if u need me


I love you,Beata!
Miss Multiples aka colfarrell1 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 19:09 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

colfarrell1 wrote:

joxertheteddybearpirate wrote:

its day 2 in the hospital for fatty as he recovers from his ordeal and he is bored and looking out of the window while the nurse treats his wounds with more goose fat.
fatty is looking out the window at cute young birds.fatty likes young birds.he notices that there is a pair of PARUS CAERULEUS trying to build a new home in the tree outside his downtrodden flea ridden hospital bedroom window.
as he looks closer at the young birds their newly built home falls out the tree and to the floor right in front of another nurse enjoying a drag on her fag.due to the new draconian laws brought in by this government fags can only be enjoyed outside now,one cannot put a fag in their mouth inside a public building [see a pic of george michael].
fatty is delighted though when the nurse stops sucking on her fag and picks up the birds home,the birds home is in a mess now but she decides to climb the tree with the birds home between her thighs as she shimmys up and put it back to where it was.fatty is now getting quite excited watching the birds which distracts the nurse treating him with the goose fat..

"what are you looking at?" asks his nurse.
fatty replies,"im looking at the nurse outside with the nice pair of tits.shes climbing the tree and i can see that she has an untidy nest between her legs,it really is in a mess"
did you know goose fat can be applied orally?
fatty does...


o dear dear dear.. Very funny! Only you could come up with that.. i will be gossiping with the great tit if u need me

oops it should me goosiping


I love you,Beata!
Miss Multiples aka colfarrell1 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Jul 07, 19:10 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

colfarrell1 wrote:

joxertheteddybearpirate wrote:

its day 2 in the hospital for fatty as he recovers from his ordeal and he is bored and looking out of the window while the nurse treats his wounds with more goose fat.
fatty is looking out the window at cute young birds.fatty likes young birds.he notices that there is a pair of PARUS CAERULEUS trying to build a new home in the tree outside his downtrodden flea ridden hospital bedroom window.
as he looks closer at the young birds their newly built home falls out the tree and to the floor right in front of another nurse enjoying a drag on her fag.due to the new draconian laws brought in by this government fags can only be enjoyed outside now,one cannot put a fag in their mouth inside a public building [see a pic of george michael].
fatty is delighted though when the nurse stops sucking on her fag and picks up the birds home,the birds home is in a mess now but she decides to climb the tree with the birds home between her thighs as she shimmys up and put it back to where it was.fatty is now getting quite excited watching the birds which distracts the nurse treating him with the goose fat..

"what are you looking at?" asks his nurse.
fatty replies,"im looking at the nurse outside with the nice pair of tits.shes climbing the tree and i can see that she has an untidy nest between her legs,it really is in a mess"
did you know goose fat can be applied orally?
fatty does...


o dear dear dear.. Very funny! Only you could come up with that.. i will be gossiping with the great tit if u need me

oops it should be goosiping


I love you,Beata!
JoxerTheDeityPirate user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 04 Jul 07, 06:20 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

[bumped]


isnt innuendo an italian suppository?

im gonna ride the wild wind!

its_a_hard_life wrote:you nutcase you rule!

joxer replies: but in a nice way :-]

Donna13 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 04 Jul 07, 09:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote