Forums > Personal > Need to lose weight in 1 week (at least 5kg / 9 pounds)

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Raf user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 11:23 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Okay, before I get started, I will make one thing clear: I KNOW it is NOT recommended to lose weight fast, I KNOW I'm already quite thin, this is NOT for beauty, and I am NOT going to keep the "new weight".

Basically, I'll turn 18 this year, and Brazil still has that mandatory Military Service crap.

ALL males who are turning 18 between January 1st and December 31th on each year must give their names. Not all of them are chosen, though.

They have a TENDENCY not to induct people who are planning to go to College, but they're well known here in Brazil for being assholes and often inducting people who wanna go to College and other people who cleary don't want to do this.

So, just to make sure I won't be inducted, I thought of being reproved in the health exams...

I weight 54kg (119 pounds, 8.5 stones) at the moment, and my height is 1m65cm (5'4"). Normally, when your weight is 10kg below the last 2 digits in your height (my own weight, for example... The last 2 digits are 65, my weight is 54...), you can already be reproved, but it doesn't mean you will, they check your general health conditions, because it's a small different. I wanna broaden the difference.

From what I've heard, if a person is below 50kg (110 pounds, 7.8 stones), no matter his weight, he gets reproved automatically.

So, my idea is to lose as much weight as I can (preferably, AT LEAST some 5kg, but if possible, some 7 or 8kg) in the following week.

I can go to gym 3 times a week, and I pretty much have the freedom at home to eat as much as I like, so any kind of crazy idea is welcome.

What should I eat, and what amount? I intend to get checked next Friday.

And, once again, YES, I KNOW IT'S NOT HEALTHY AND AFTER GETTING REPROVED ON THOSE EXAMS, I AM GOING TO EAT NORMALLY AGAIN AND GET BACK TO MY NORMAL WEIGHT.

Many thanks in advance!


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its_a_hard_life 26994 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 11:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

:(

bobo the chimp user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 11:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Just go in there with a limp and claim that everything looks blurry.


"Your not funny, your not a good musician, theres a difference between being funny and being an idiot, you obviously being the latter" - Dave R Fuller
Freya is quietly judging you. user not visiting Queenzone.com
Meh.
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 11:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Just don't eat much, salads and green tea, works a treat.

Also, try negative calorie foods, (foods you can eat as much as you want as it takes your body more calories to digest the food than in the food itself, there's a list here - http://www.calorie-count.com/forums/post/22.html

Also, it's impossible for them to be negative calories, there does seem to be at least some truth in it.

Be careful though, you can really fuck your metabolism up AND YOUR PERIODS MIGHT STOP.

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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 11:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

5 foot 4 and 8 and a half stone?
I didnt realise you were a hobbit lol
good grief dude, have a pasty for lunch and convert to islam.should do the job ;-]

ps,we are short of a decent brazilian electrician in the UK now after the last one got it in the back...


isnt innuendo an italian suppository?

im gonna ride the wild wind!

its_a_hard_life wrote:you nutcase you rule!

joxer replies: but in a nice way :-]

Ms. Rebel user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 11:48 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

---->Christian Bale's diet<----


I'm sick of all my kicks.
The Mir@cle user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 11:52 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<b><font color=007788> ?Freya? wrote:

Just don't eat much, salads and green tea, works a treat.

Also, try negative calorie foods, (foods you can eat as much as you want as it takes your body more calories to digest the food than in the food itself, there's a list here - http://www.calorie-count.com/forums/post/22.html

Also, it's impossible for them to be negative calories, there does seem to be at least some truth in it.

Be careful though, you can really fuck your metabolism up AND YOUR PERIODS MIGHT STOP.


True true... I didn't eat for a week and lost 10 kg... and I'm already thin so that must work. Just don't eat. ;)


I got to try al little more,

because I'm an asshole but I'm learning.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfTLkUcQ7QY
The Mir@cle user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:00 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Look at this:

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/MeijerMartijn/Overig/queenzone.jpg

xD


I got to try al little more,

because I'm an asshole but I'm learning.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfTLkUcQ7QY
Poo, again user not visiting Queenzone.com
Poo, again
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Tell them that you've been so scared of military service that you've had "recurring dreams of (accidentally) shooting people almost every night" for a year.

And that you're just basically scared you'll accidentally shoot someone. That's scary enough without getting you labeled as mentally ill, I think.

Would that work? I kinda hope it does, because that's my plan. =)

I'm not sure how tolerant your country is, but you could try telling them you're gay if all else fails.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Jake? wrote: I want him to shove it down my throat and shoot. Shoot! Shoot! C'mon! SHOOT! SHOOT!

[/QUOTENAME]



[/QUOTE]







Mr.Jingles user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<font color=pink>Poo wrote:



I'm not sure how tolerant your country is, but you could try telling them you're gay if all else fails.


My words exactly.

All you have to do is bring a gay buddy who is willing to let you stick your tongue inside his mouth in front of the recruiting drill seargent.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<font color=#CC0066 face="Bradley Hand ITC"> The Mir@cle </font> wrote:

Look at this:

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a87/MeijerMartijn/Overig/queenzone.jpg

xD


LOL!


I'm sick of all my kicks.
Raf user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:28 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Mr.Jingles wrote:

<font color=pink>Poo wrote:



I'm not sure how tolerant your country is, but you could try telling them you're gay if all else fails.


My words exactly.

All you have to do is bring a gay buddy who is willing to let you stick your tongue inside his mouth in front of the recruiting drill seargent.

Hmm, I know some years ago it would've worked. My ex-English teacher got outed and he escaped because of that. But that was over 20 years ago, nowadays I'm not sure if that would work.

@Freya (and Tijn): Thank you a lot, both for the advice here and for the extra advice on MSN. I think I'll have a cracker for dinner tonight, and a couple of crackers all day tomorrow. :P
When I go to gym, I'd better take an "emergency candy" in my pocket, though, right?

@Zebonka: They make proper exams on you... Unfortunately. :(







We got the Cosmos rockin'!

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We got the Universe rockin'!

We got the Cosmos rockin'!

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Raf user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:31 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

JoxerTheWindsweptPirate wrote:

5 foot 4 and 8 and a half stone?
I didnt realise you were a hobbit lol

LMAO! XD

ps,we are short of a decent brazilian electrician in the UK now after the last one got it in the back...

Sorry, not my choice for a career. ;P


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We got the Universe rockin'!

We got the Cosmos rockin'!

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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sex burns the most calories per Min then any workout. I suggest if you have non one there, to get a few good web pages and just masturbate up to 4 times a day, try to take your time as well.


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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:39 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I just lost 3 pounds in 2 minutes time


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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<font color="lime">Raf840 wrote:

Mr.Jingles wrote:

<font color=pink>Poo wrote:



I'm not sure how tolerant your country is, but you could try telling them you're gay if all else fails.


My words exactly.

All you have to do is bring a gay buddy who is willing to let you stick your tongue inside his mouth in front of the recruiting drill seargent.

Hmm, I know some years ago it would've worked. My ex-English teacher got outed and he escaped because of that. But that was over 20 years ago, nowadays I'm not sure if that would work.



Can you fuck him in the ass? I'm sure Jessica wouldn't mind.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]
Raf user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

wstüssyb wrote:

Sex burns the most calories per Min then any workout. I suggest if you have non one there, to get a few good web pages and just masturbate up to 4 times a day, try to take your time as well.

Your advice is good... But let's say I've already started following your advice a couple of years ago. :P Should I increase it to 6 times a day or something...? :P


We got the Cosmos rockin'!

We got the Cosmos rockin'!

We got the Universe rockin'!

We got the Cosmos rockin'!

We got the Cosmos rockin' to the mighty power of rock'n'roll!
Raf user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Mr.Jingles wrote:

<font color="lime">Raf840 wrote:

Mr.Jingles wrote:

<font color=pink>Poo wrote:



I'm not sure how tolerant your country is, but you could try telling them you're gay if all else fails.


My words exactly.

All you have to do is bring a gay buddy who is willing to let you stick your tongue inside his mouth in front of the recruiting drill seargent.

Hmm, I know some years ago it would've worked. My ex-English teacher got outed and he escaped because of that. But that was over 20 years ago, nowadays I'm not sure if that would work.



Can you fuck him in the ass? I'm sure Jessica wouldn't mind.

Last time we talked about the subject, she seemed to mind it...

But in what way is that revelant to the subject? :P


We got the Cosmos rockin'!

We got the Cosmos rockin'!

We got the Universe rockin'!

We got the Cosmos rockin'!

We got the Cosmos rockin' to the mighty power of rock'n'roll!
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:46 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

FriedChicken<br><font size=1>The Almighty</font> wrote:

I just lost 3 pounds in 2 minutes time


Haha! I can get and lose 2-3kg in one day xD I swear, no lie..


I'm sick of all my kicks.
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Posted: 01 Feb 08, 12:47 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<font color="9933FF"><b> Ms. Rebel wrote:

---->Christian Bale's diet<----
That was the first ting I thought when i read this.


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