Mom: So when we come to Sydney can we stay at yours?
Me: Oh. Sure. Well, actually there are a number of awesome hotels just a two minute walk from my house. I?ve just emailed you a bunch of links. Have a look! Am happy to book any of them for you. But, yeah, of course you are welcome to stay at mine, if you really want to.
Mom: You were welcome to stay in my uterus for nine months, and then my house for 17 years. But I understand, a week at your apartment might be a bit ? much. :D
Me: Don?t you passive-aggressive-smile-face-ME, woman.
Mom: Fuck off. Love you - M.
Killed by drones.