Conjoined twins walk into a pub in Toronto and park themselves on a bar stool.
One of them says to the bartender, 'Don't mind us, we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers please.'
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. 'Been on holiday yet, lads?'
'Off to England next month,' says John. 'We go to England every year, hire a car and drive for miles, don't we, Jim?' Jim agrees.
'Ah, England !' says the bartender. 'Wonderful Country...the history, the beer, the culture....'
'Nah, we don't like that warm British crap they call beer,' says John.
'Hamburgers & Molson's beer, that's us, eh, Jim?
And we can't stand the English people; they're so arrogant and rude, not civil and polite like us Canadians.'
'So why keep going to England ?' asks the bartender.
'It's the only chance Jim gets to drive.'
"With a population of 1.75 million, Northern Ireland should really be a footballing minnow. Instead, they could be better described as the piranhas of the international game" (FIFA.com)