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thomasquinn 32989 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Jun 09, 13:11 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sorry it took me so long, but I made a transcript of a tv appearance by Brian last March 23rd, where he had Freddie's ghost chanelled to comment on the Queen + Paul Rodgers thing. Since this is a little unusual, I thought I'd share it with you.

=====================

Hostess: “Hello, and welcome to another
episode of – Ardent Spirits, the Perfect Thing for a Saturday Night. Our guest
this night is none other than Mr. Brian Harold May. Mr. May is known for being
a queen…”

Brian: “IN Queen”

Hostess: “What?”

Brian: “I was IN Queen”

Hostess (slightly disappointed): “Oh, I
see,” she gets her act together again. “Mr. May will be speaking tonight, on
the air with you, to his Bandmate from Beyond the grave, Fr…”

Brian: “Urn, actually.”

Hostess: “Urn?”

Brian: “Well, you see, Freddie was cremated
and so he isn’t really technically buried as opposed to, well, you
know…incinerated”

Hostess: “Oh, right Mr. May. So, without
any further delay, ladies and gentlemen, here is the Spirit of Freddie
Mercury.”

 

* Poof * (This is, of course, by no means
an allusion to Freddie’s sexuality.)

 

Hostess: “Go ahead, Mr. May. I believe
Freddie has just arrived.”

Brian: “Ummmm, where exactly are you,
Freddie?”

Freddie: “Here”

Brian: “My god. That really does sound like
you!”

Freddie: “What did you expect, Brian, Isaac
Hayes?”

Brian: “IS Isaac Hayes there with you?”

Freddie: “Oh, heavens, no. His kind isn’t
allowed in here.”

Hostess: “I’m sorry, Mr. Mercury, but that
sort of racial slur isn’t permissible in here!”

Freddie: “Pardon?”

Brian (disgusted): “Heaven is barred for
coloured people?”

Freddie: “What? No! But Scientologists
don’t get in here, I’ll tell you that.”

Brian: “Why can’t I see you?”

Freddie: “Because I’ve been cremated, you
oink! Geez, and you were a metaphysics major, too…”

Brian: “That was physics, actually.
Remember? I talked about it all the time.”

Freddie: “Oh, I don’t know, I never
listened when you were talking.”

Brian: “What? How dare you!”

Freddie: “Sorry Bri, I just can’t lie.
That’s séances for you there.”

Hostess: “Not to mention national
television.”

Freddie: “Really? I’m on television right
now? How does my hair lo…oh, wait.”

Brian: “Anyway, Freddie, what I wanted to
ask you, what do you think of Paul Rodgers and us?”

Freddie: “Who?”

Brian: “Paul Rodgers. You know, Free, Bad
Company. Sea Gull, All Right Now…”

Freddie: “Oh yeah, great song! Pity it
wasn’t mine.”

Brian: “Ehm, why?”

Freddie: “Sold a million.”

Brian: “But, anyway, you don’t mind him
singing with us?”

Freddie: “Singing, with you?

Brian: “Yeah, with Queen. Minus you, of
course. And John Deacon, he just won’t play anymore.”

Freddie: “Oh yes, I forgot to mention that,
so sorry. You need to wind up John with the key from my toy car every six,
seven years or so. If you don’t, he stops working.”

Brian: “John…is a robot?”

Freddie: “Brian, dear. Could a human keep
time like that?

Brian: “I guess not…”

Freddie: “Or compose a song as daft as
‘Misfire’?”

Brian: “Hey Freddie, does this mean we
don’t have to pay him royalties anymore?”

Freddie: “What? You paid him royalties?
Hahahahaha!”

Brian (exasperated): “Freddie, please. Can
we hire Paul Rodgers for Queen?”

Freddie: “Oh, whatever. If you tell Roger
to get some exercise.”

Brian: “What? Why?”

Freddie: 
“Because I went to look at him in the shower the other day, darling.
Scared the shit out of me. Except of course I do not have shit anymore.”

Brian: “Do you miss it?”

Freddie: “Shit? No.”

Brian: “No, life I mean.”

Freddie: “Part of it, I guess…Russian
Caviar, one of the great pleasures in life.”

Brian: “You miss that?”

Freddie (wistfully): “Yes…somehow you can
only get the Turkish kind here…”

Brian: “So, Freddie, is there anything else
you want to let us know?”

Freddie: “Why should I care that you don’t
know everything? Serves you right for being alive.”

Hostess: 
“You seem to be a little upset, Freddie. Would you like to share with us
why?”

Freddie: “Well, to be quite honest, I’m a
bit annoyed with the new president of the United  States.”

Hostess: “Oh? You are one of the few who
isn’t satisfied with the recently inaugurated president.”

Freddie: “Oh, it’s not that, it’s just that
hell froze over when he was elected, and ever since then our central heating
has been out of order. Have you ever tried a cold shower? I tell you, it was a
novel and highly disagreeable experience to me.”

Hostess: “I’m sorry Freddie, our time’s up
for tonight. Join us next week, March 30, for another episode of Ardent Spirits, featuring none other
than Maurice Jarre.

Brian: “But...he isn’t dead.”

Hostess: “Well...not yet, anyway.”





Not Plutus but Apollo rules Parnassus

FriedChicken user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Jun 09, 17:24 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I lolled



"On the first day Pim & Niek created a heavenly occupation. Pim & Niek blessed it and named it 'Loosch'."



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Major Tom user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 04 Jun 09, 06:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote



FriedChicken wrote:

I lolled
*2







It´s better to burn out than to fade away.
The Fairy King user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 04 Jun 09, 11:55 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

i rofled, especially the Scientology part!



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catqueen user not visiting Queenzone.com
:)

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Posted: 04 Jun 09, 15:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

hahahahaha!
I just got told to tone the volume down a bit, i was laughing out loud.

thomasquinn 32989 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 05 Jun 09, 05:39 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Glad to hear you enjoyed it ^^.



Not Plutus but Apollo rules Parnassus

«¤~Mrš. BÃD GÛŸ~¤» user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 05 Jun 09, 17:24 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Ha ha ha ha.....that was brilliant!! Lmfao!



¥~Ït’š iñ thë LåÞ øf thè Gódš~¥