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Mr Mercury user not visiting Queenzone.com
Adam who?????
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Posted: 12 Jun 09, 05:16 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

It was the first day back at school after summer vacation for the class of seven year olds, the teacher asked them what they did while away from school.

Mary shouted out "Please Miss, I went out with Mummy and Daddy and we saw some moo-moos."
The teacher interrupted Mary and told her that she is a seven year old now and should not be using "baby words like moo-moo."

Just then, Peter blurted out "Please Miss, I went to stay with my uncle on his farm, he has lots of baa-baas."
Teacher interrupted again to scold Peter about using childish language, and asked little Johnny what he did.

"Well Miss," said Johnny, "I read a book."

"Very grown-up" commented the teacher, "And what was the book called?"

"Ehm... Winnie the shit", answered Johnny.


"Normally i can't dance to save my life.

But as soon as I step in dog shit, I can moonwalk better than Michael Jackson."
Micrówave user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 12 Jun 09, 11:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I like Richard Pryor's Little Johnnie joke, too...

(we go back to 1974...)

The kids had all returned from summer break and it was time for each to tell exciting events that happened during the summer.

Mary quickly raised her hand and proclaimed that she and her family had went to Disneyland.  Emily bragged about camping out.  Steven caught 4 fish with his Dad on a fishing trip.

When it got time for little Johnnie he quickly told how "My brother was in Vietnam and got shot in the ass."

The teacher, in shock, says "Whoa!  Freeze, we can't say things like that, Little Johnnie.  You say the correct medical term.  Say 'Rectum'."

"Rectum?", retorted little Johnnie, "Shit, it killed him."

TheCosmosRocks user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 13 Jun 09, 09:12 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Brian May is watching TV in his living room when all of a sudden in a puff of smoke Freddie Mercury appears from nowhere.
Brian both shocked and startled cries 'Jesus Freddie! How did you manage that!?'
To which Freddie replies 'Well little did you know Brian but I practiced in the ancient art of voodoo for many years on the QT.'
Brian confused says 'Voodoo Freddie? What's Voodoo?'
Freddie answers 'It's a kinda magic...'


''We believe, there's a deed of obligation, to bring reconciliation, to make peace with every nation....''
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Be Gentle, I'm a newbie: 11 posts
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Posted: 15 Jun 09, 13:39 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote



TheCosmosRocks wrote:

Brian May is watching TV in his living room when all of a sudden in a puff of smoke Freddie Mercury appears from nowhere.
Brian both shocked and startled cries 'Jesus Freddie! How did you manage that!?'
To which Freddie replies 'Well little did you know Brian but I practiced in the ancient art of voodoo for many years on the QT.'
Brian confused says 'Voodoo Freddie? What's Voodoo?'
Freddie answers 'It's a kinda magic...'


hahahaha I like that






catqueen user not visiting Queenzone.com
:)

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Posted: 15 Jun 09, 14:30 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote



TheCosmosRocks wrote:

Brian May is watching TV in his living room when all of a sudden in a puff of smoke Freddie Mercury appears from nowhere.
Brian both shocked and startled cries 'Jesus Freddie! How did you manage that!?'
To which Freddie replies 'Well little did you know Brian but I practiced in the ancient art of voodoo for many years on the QT.'
Brian confused says 'Voodoo Freddie? What's Voodoo?'
Freddie answers 'It's a kinda magic...'

Hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Brilliant!  How do people think of these things?







FriedChicken user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 15 Jun 09, 17:38 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

How do you fuck a 11 year old between her tits?



"On the first day Pim & Niek created a heavenly occupation. Pim & Niek blessed it and named it 'Loosch'."



(Genesis 1:1)
FriedChicken user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 15 Jun 09, 17:38 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Answer: 



Smash in her ribcage



"On the first day Pim & Niek created a heavenly occupation. Pim & Niek blessed it and named it 'Loosch'."



(Genesis 1:1)
Lexx user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Lexx
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Posted: 16 Jun 09, 01:37 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

A man walked through the kitchen door one evening carrying a duck.
He looked over at his wife and said "This is the pig I've been fucking."
The wife looked at him confused and said "But honey, that's a duck" to which the man replied "I wasn't talking to you."



JoxerTheDeityPirate user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 16 Jun 09, 09:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

2 men walking along a Cornish cliff when one of them falls 50ft through a tin mine shaft.
first man worridly calls down "you broken anything?"
2nd man shouts back "no,fuck all down here!"


isnt innuendo an italian suppository?

im gonna ride the wild wind!

its_a_hard_life wrote:you nutcase you rule!

joxer replies: but in a nice way :-]

Mr Mercury user not visiting Queenzone.com
Adam who?????
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Posted: 20 Jun 09, 15:05 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer.

"Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 penny."

"ONE PENNY?!" exclaims the guy.

The barman replies, "Yes."

So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?"

"Certainly, sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money."

"How much money?" inquires the guy.

"4 pence", he replies.

"FOUR pence?!" exclaims the guy.

"Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife."

The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?"

The bartender replies, "Same as I'm doing to his business."


"Normally i can't dance to save my life.

But as soon as I step in dog shit, I can moonwalk better than Michael Jackson."