Forums > Personal > One in 20 Scots killed by alcohol.

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Holly2003 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 30 Jun 09, 14:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

One in 20 Scots killed by alcohol.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/8126129.stm 

That few? Wonder what the other 19/20 were killed by. My guess is:

1 by alcohol
3 in riots at Old Firm games
3 in North Sea oil accidents
6 from cardiac problems associated with deep fried Mars bars
3 by Loch ness monster attacks
1 by drug overdose after being forced to watch Trainspotting, the world's most over-rated film.
2 out of bitterness about all things English
1 of insanity after one too many references to Andy Murray as a "British" tennis star. 



"With a population of 1.75 million, Northern Ireland should really be a footballing minnow. Instead, they could be better described as the piranhas of the international game" (FIFA.com)
-fatty- 2850 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 30 Jun 09, 17:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Don't forget Proclaimers Syndrome- a rare condition that makes us over pronounce the letter R, causing vibrations which in turn loosen the skull from the spinal chord.

Krankies disease which affects the balance and makes you fall off pantomime beanstalks.

CJD from all those Desperate Dan cow pies.

Lena Zavaroni disorder: Like Bulemia but comes with a BBC documentary.

Lockerbie Migraine: A headache so severe, it feels as though a Boeing 747 has landed on it.

Lulu: An acute pain in the arse.

Alex Ferguson Face: The result of making a Glasgow salad (chips) while drunk and setting the house on fire.

Add this to all the stabbings, heart attacks and not forgetting that we're still the AIDS capital of Europe. It makes you proud to be a Scot.

fatty.







JoxerTheDeityPirate user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 30 Jun 09, 17:18 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

alcohol killed a Scottish girlfriend of mine,i came home drunk and shot her


isnt innuendo an italian suppository?

im gonna ride the wild wind!

its_a_hard_life wrote:you nutcase you rule!

joxer replies: but in a nice way :-]

Brandon The Great user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 30 Jun 09, 17:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote



-fatty- wrote:

Don't forget Proclaimers Syndrome- a rare condition that makes us over pronounce the letter R, causing vibrations which in turn loosen the skull from the spinal chord.

Krankies disease which affects the balance and makes you fall off pantomime beanstalks.

CJD from all those Desperate Dan cow pies.

Lena Zavaroni disorder: Like Bulemia but comes with a BBC documentary.

Lockerbie Migraine: A headache so severe, it feels as though a Boeing 747 has landed on it.

Lulu: An acute pain in the arse.

Alex Ferguson Face: The result of making a Glasgow salad (chips) while drunk and setting the house on fire.

Add this to all the stabbings, heart attacks and not forgetting that we're still the AIDS capital of Europe. It makes you proud to be a Scot.

fatty.







No clue what half of that means!  Is Scottland really the AIDS capital of Europe?  I thought it would be Eastern Europe.  Interesting. 
I went to Edinburgh once; after looking at the girls there, I'd assume you guys have the lowest birthrates too?






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Posted: 01 Jul 09, 08:23 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'm not surprised really, coming from the heart-disease, alcohol drenched West of Scotland it's easy to notice. I wonder if the statistic is even higher in Inverclyde.....



Crazy Little Thing Called Love....
JoxerTheDeityPirate user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Jul 09, 09:58 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

all those Scots that have read the stats and are now abstaining please send all booze to me,all donations are gratefully received


isnt innuendo an italian suppository?

im gonna ride the wild wind!

its_a_hard_life wrote:you nutcase you rule!

joxer replies: but in a nice way :-]

John S Stuart user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Jul 09, 08:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote



Brandon The Great wrote:

I went to Edinburgh once; after looking at the girls there, I'd assume you guys have the lowest birthrates too?






Why do you think we drink so much?
Beer goggles are a required addition for Scottish foreplay.

You notice that sober Scot's all wear paper bags.
One over her head to hide her face.
One over my head incase her's slips off.


"Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make."
thomasquinn 32989 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Jul 09, 10:04 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote



John S Stuart wrote:







Brandon The Great wrote:

I went to Edinburgh once; after looking at the girls there, I'd assume you guys have the lowest birthrates too?









Why do you think we drink so much?
Beer goggles are a required addition for Scottish foreplay.

You notice that sober Scot's all wear paper bags.
One over her head to hide her face.
One over my head incase her's slips off.

This might also explain why half of Scotland moved to the US as soon as they had the chance back in the 1800s.





Not Plutus but Apollo rules Parnassus

Holly2003 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Jul 09, 15:03 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote



ThomasQuinn wrote:



 



John S Stuart wrote:



 



 



 



 



Brandon The Great wrote:

I went to Edinburgh once; after looking at the girls there, I'd assume you guys have the lowest birthrates too?




 



 



 



Why do you think we drink so much?
Beer goggles are a required addition for Scottish foreplay.

You notice that sober Scot's all wear paper bags.
One over her head to hide her face.
One over my head incase her's slips off.

This might also explain why half of Scotland moved to the US as soon as they had the chance back in the 1800s.



About 100,000 Ulster-Scots moved there between about 1700 and 1770. All into the same house, to save money.








"With a population of 1.75 million, Northern Ireland should really be a footballing minnow. Instead, they could be better described as the piranhas of the international game" (FIFA.com)
4 x Vision user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 12 Aug 09, 06:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

At least we have our lovely weather, noone can take that away from us.


«¤~Mrš. BÃD GÛŸ~¤» user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 12 Aug 09, 21:00 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote



Van Basten 9 wrote:

At least we have our lovely weather, noone can take that away from us.


    Apparently you haven't met Mr. El Nino :-P







¥~Ït’š iñ thë LåÞ øf thè Gódš~¥