Forums > Personal > Make me laugh and win a prize

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paulosham user not visiting Queenzone.com
Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon
paulosham
Bohemian: 659 posts
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Posted: 05 May 11, 05:42 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hi there,

I've recently found a bunch of old Queen pin badges, 15 or so, in my attic.  along with a couple of sew on patches.  I'm never going to wear them (because I'm close to 40) and I don't want to throw them away.  So make me laugh and their yours. Don't worry about postage, I'll sort that, I just want them to go to a home where they will be loved.

paulosham

I'll announce the winner on the 12th one week from today May 5th


Don't shun it!
Dan C. user not visiting Queenzone.com
Dan C.
Royalty: 1544 posts
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Posted: 06 May 11, 04:30 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

What's wet and tastes like red paint?
.
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Blue paint.

Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week.


"The tri-tone is the Devil's interval, and he demands resolution." - Richard Lloyd
catqueen user not visiting Queenzone.com
:)

Royalty: 1758 posts
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Posted: 06 May 11, 17:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

http://http//www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JhaDMQH2mQ
hope the link works lol

lifetimefanofqueen user not visiting Queenzone.com
lifetimefanofqueen
Royalty: 1328 posts
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Posted: 06 May 11, 20:48 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

they disposed of osame bin ladens body via swinging him into the see,
"we've found you now find Nemo...."

(russel howard performed it better)

YannickJoker user not visiting Queenzone.com

Bohemian: 297 posts
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Posted: 07 May 11, 00:03 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

tcc user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 May 11, 01:12 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

How about this :

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13224130

spandan user not visiting Queenzone.com
spandan
Champion: 69 posts
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Posted: 07 May 11, 02:58 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

*tickles*


"MTV is not my cup of tea. Mainly because I don't like huge pieces of shit in my tea"
Mr Mercury user not visiting Queenzone.com
Adam who?????
Mr Mercury
Deity: 4632 posts
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Posted: 07 May 11, 05:58 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

The world's best anagram?

Osama Bin Laden = "Lob da man in sea"


"Normally i can't dance to save my life.

But as soon as I step in dog shit, I can moonwalk better than Michael Jackson."
Holly2003 user not visiting Queenzone.com
Hot Buttered Soul
Holly2003
Deity: 4707 posts
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Posted: 07 May 11, 06:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Brian May told me this one:

How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

Cover it in petrol and set it on fire .... WOOF!


"With a population of 1.75 million, Northern Ireland should really be a footballing minnow. Instead, they could be better described as the piranhas of the international game" (FIFA.com)
thomasquinn 32989 user not visiting Queenzone.com
thomasquinn 32989
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Posted: 07 May 11, 07:15 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gpjk_MaCGM

Send the prize to Graham Chapman, please.


Not Plutus but Apollo rules Parnassus

GratefulFan user not visiting Queenzone.com
GratefulFan
Deity: 3776 posts
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Posted: 07 May 11, 09:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Holly2003 wrote: Brian May told me this one:

How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

Cover it in petrol and set it on fire .... WOOF!

=============================

Wait one minute.  Put it out.  'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS'   Back to cat.

spandan user not visiting Queenzone.com
spandan
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Posted: 07 May 11, 09:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'll try to spew some wisdom now.

There are 10 letters in "depression" and also in "fuck my life" but after all "life is good" has 10 letters too. Moral: I can count and shit


"MTV is not my cup of tea. Mainly because I don't like huge pieces of shit in my tea"
paulosham user not visiting Queenzone.com
Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon
paulosham
Bohemian: 659 posts
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Posted: 11 May 11, 13:50 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1 day to go you funny people


Don't shun it!
thomasquinn 32989 user not visiting Queenzone.com
thomasquinn 32989
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Posted: 12 May 11, 00:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."


Not Plutus but Apollo rules Parnassus

GratefulFan user not visiting Queenzone.com
GratefulFan
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Posted: 12 May 11, 09:25 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I would just like to point out that fairness dictates that original material be given merit at twice it's assessed value.  So for example if you assessed my sizzling cat joke as "Terrible! I give that a minus 2!" I should in fact be given at least a minus 4.  Thank you.

-fatty- 2850 user not visiting Queenzone.com
-fatty- 2850
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Posted: 12 May 11, 13:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

All my life I've been intersted in woodwork and carpentry. I've made chairs, cabinets, wardrobes and only last year I fitted an entire new kitchen. Yet nobody calls me Fatty the carpenter.

I'm also a keen cook and my soups and stews have been warmly recieved by those lucky enough to taste them. Do people call me Fatty the chef? No, they don't.

I've written four books, two of which appeared in the Glasgow Herald's bestseller list. Still to this day I have yet to hear anyone refer to me as Fatty the author.

I shagged one sheep.

fatty.

GratefulFan user not visiting Queenzone.com
GratefulFan
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Posted: 12 May 11, 16:28 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Fatty the big stingy spoilsport

Signed,
The rest of the sheep

paulosham user not visiting Queenzone.com
Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon
paulosham
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Posted: 12 May 11, 18:44 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sorry I'm a bit late

The winner is YannickJoker

What can I say, I like shit jokes.

Well done dude,


Don't shun it!