Forums > Personal > Do you think polyamorous relationships would work?

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princesslina user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 28 Jul 18, 09:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I have a friend who had a long-term boyfriend and they just both started dating a new girl...maybe for six months already. I'm not sure if that is healthy for their relationship, but do you think polyamory could work?

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Posted: 28 Jul 18, 10:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Is polyamory one of the new buzzwords created by American university students? Because from the description it sounds more like cheating, which - surprise, surprise - is horrible for every relationship.

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Posted: 28 Jul 18, 21:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sound like fun to me ... LOL

It sounds voluntary for all three "participants" and it is likely ok for now ... or maybe forever. I would guess that a jealousy triangle might be problem eventually.

For me, marriage to one person is tough enough. I do not want or need another female lover (or male lover) to create even more drama in my life ... plus I'm too old and fat plus the libido ain't what it used to be. Plus as a manic depressive, such extracurricular excitement would likely adversely affect my mental health.

Pansexual, asexual, bisexual, gay, lesbian, queer ... all these "liberal" American university buzzwords confuse me horribly, and I am always googling these new cockamamie terms.


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Posted: 29 Jul 18, 16:03 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

pittrek wrote:

Is polyamory one of the new buzzwords created by American university students? Because from the description it sounds more like cheating, which - surprise, surprise - is horrible for every relationship.


"Cheating" implies you act in a dishonest way to gain something. I suppose we call it "cheating" when you have a partner and then date someone else because there's an implied deal where both you and your partner date exclusively one another, but you broke this deal, went behind your partner's back and got some extra action.

I don't think I'd be able to do it. Both because of jealousy and because sometimes it's difficult enough having one person involved in most aspects of your life, I guess adding more people to that would just make things even messier.

But just because some of us can't do it doesn't mean it isn't healthy. There are plenty of researchers (actual scientists: biologists, psychologists etc, not your average liberal arts student) who claim humans are polygamous by nature - which explains why cheating is so common, even though we sometimes like to pretend to ourselves it isn't.

These polyamorous couples found an honest (and, let's admit it, romantic) way to deal with that: we like each other and want to be together, but we don't really see why that should stop us from meeting other people, maybe even falling in love with them. So why don't we just do it together?

I guess it's healthier than having a string of dramatic break because you're always dumping your partner to find someone new, or even worse, burying your relationship in lies because either you or your partner (or both) have some side partners.


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Posted: 29 Jul 18, 17:58 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

You could introduce them to your sister, and with a bit of luck you'll soon be able to listen to your music again without the need for headphones :p

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Posted: 29 Jul 18, 18:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

As long as they're all consenting adults and they all know what they're doing, fine.

I wouldn't do it, but it's none of my business if others do.


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Posted: 29 Jul 18, 23:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Thistleboy1980 wrote:

You could introduce them to your sister, and with a bit of luck you'll soon be able to listen to your music again without the need for headphones :p


ROTFLMAO ... there is a small chance that this might be an excellent solution

er, I meant ... "That's disgusting. Can a moderator please censor Thistleboy?"

LOL


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Posted: 30 Jul 18, 07:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I think that's no good and I wouldn't never do it.

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Posted: 30 Jul 18, 16:37 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

princesslina wrote:

I have a friend who had a long-term boyfriend and they just both started dating a new girl...maybe for six months already. I'm not sure if that is healthy for their relationship, but do you think polyamory could work?


Well, you can ignore most of the replies to this thread, because they clearly don't understand what "polyamory" even means.

As long as there's open communication and no feelings of jealousy, then great - I wish everyone well.

Polyamory is an extremely difficult thing to manage - BUT - in my experience, most of the happiest couples I know use this relationship model. They recognize the delicate balance between wanting security but not suppressing their desires for novelty. It is difficult to achieve, but not impossible. Good luck to them.



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Posted: 30 Jul 18, 21:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I love being ignorant.


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Posted: 31 Jul 18, 17:38 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

The Real Wizard wrote:

Well, you can ignore most of the replies to this thread, because they clearly don't understand what "polyamory" even means.



What?

Other than Peter's first response, there's not a single response here that suggests that it has been misunderstood. In fact, some actually touch on some of the problems involved. Of course, they're the sort of problems that people in polyamorous relationships say aren't problems, or are sick of discussing - but you can't help people being curious and trying to understand. Not everyone is cut out for it.





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Posted: 01 Aug 18, 11:14 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I was reading through a Wikipedia article about polyamory and it says that polyamory is the ability or capacity to love more than one person at a time. Sometimes seen as the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the knowledge of all partners, involved it has been described as "consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy."

And just like what The Real Wizard mentioned, my friend stressed out the humans' innate need to seek for novelty. When they did counseling before with Regain, they figured that constant seeking for novelty was a part of their misunderstandings before. But now they understand that seeking for novelty is one of their issues, polyamorous relationships came into the picture and really helped their relationship. I know I'm just their friend and no matter what I tell them would affect their choices at all, but so far they are doing good. I just hope they won't regret their decisions.

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Posted: 01 Aug 18, 11:16 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I was reading through a Wikipedia article about polyamory and it says that polyamory is the ability or capacity to love more than one person at a time. Sometimes seen as the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the knowledge of all partners, involved it has been described as "consensual, ethical, and responsible non-monogamy."

And just like what The Real Wizard mentioned, my friend stressed out the humans' innate need to seek for novelty. When they did counseling before with Regain, they figured that constant seeking for novelty was a part of their misunderstandings before. But now they understand that seeking for novelty is one of their issues, polyamorous relationships came into the picture and really helped their relationship. I know I'm just their friend and no matter what I tell them would affect their choices at all, but so far they are doing good. I just hope they won't regret their decisions.

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Posted: 01 Aug 18, 14:04 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Saint Jiub wrote:

Thistleboy1980 wrote:

You could introduce them to your sister, and with a bit of luck you'll soon be able to listen to your music again without the need for headphones :p


ROTFLMAO ... there is a small chance that this might be an excellent solution

er, I meant ... "That's disgusting. Can a moderator please censor Thistleboy?"

LOL


Lol, ban the fecker. It's what he deserves!


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Posted: 01 Aug 18, 17:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

princesslina wrote:

I just hope they won't regret their decisions.


That goes for anyone and any life decision. All we can do is make decisions now. And if we're happy with our decisions now, there should be no regrets later.

People change, circumstances change. And people just adjust things as necessary. That's all pretty normal. If they're happy now, then that's all that matters. The rest is just noise.



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Posted: 01 Aug 18, 17:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

The Real Wizard wrote:

If they're happy now, then that's all that matters. The rest is just noise.


Yip


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Posted: 02 Aug 18, 04:11 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Thistleboy1980 wrote:

The Real Wizard wrote:

If they're happy now, then that's all that matters. The rest is just noise.


Yip


Spoken by a wise man ... in my opinion.


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Posted: 06 Aug 18, 07:15 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I've seen it work on several occasions...



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Posted: 07 Aug 18, 14:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

The Fairy King wrote:

I've seen it work on several occasions...


No, no, no, that's called an ORGY, not quite the same thing, but I can see how easy it is to make that mistake.


Sorry. Couldn't resist. On topic, I strongly and belligerently hold and defend the view that I have no opinion on this subject whatsoever.


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Posted: 08 Aug 18, 08:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

thomasquinn 32989 wrote:

The Fairy King wrote:

I've seen it work on several occasions...


No, no, no, that's called an ORGY, not quite the same thing, but I can see how easy it is to make that mistake.


Sorry. Couldn't resist.


Ah shit, you know me too well. :D



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