Ok so this is an old one but it seems apt.
Saturday 23rd November 1991, Garden Lodge, London.
Roger, Brian & John have come to say their final goodbyes to Freddie.
Roger, Brian & John poke their heads around Freddie's bedroom door.
Brian: Hi Fred, it's us. Can we come in?
Freddie: Well to tell you the truth 'Noel's House Party' has just started. Can you come back in about an hour?
Brian: (looking slightly perplexed) er...ok.
An hour or so later Roger, Brian & John peek around the bedroom door again.
Roger: Is it ok to come in now Freddie?
Freddie: Oh sorry dear, but 'Blind Date' has just started and I want to see if Wayne and Donna hit it off on their weekend to Skegness.
Roger: Er.....em...Well shall we come back in another hour or so?
Freddie: Yes, you do that dear and if you see Pheobe on your travels ask him to bring me up a cup of tea and some wagon wheels, would you?
An hour later the three of them trot back upstairs and into Freddie's bedroom.
Brain: Can we please come in now Fred?
Freddie picks up a copy of TV QUICK and reads the listings for Saturday night.
Freddie: Hmmmmmmmmm...Ok, you've got half an hour. 'Murder She Wrote' is on at 10.
Roger and Brian sit in chairs beside the bed while John parks himself at Freddie's feet.
Roger: Well Freddie, how are you feeling?
Freddie: Oh you mean apart from the chronic mouth sores, ulcers and crippling agonising pain of drawing breath.
Freddie: Not too bad.
At this point Pheobe enters the bedroom carrying a tray of tea and Jaffa Cakes.
Freddie beckons Pheobe over to him and whispers something in his ear.
Pheobe takes the plate of Jaffa Cakes away and returns a minute or so later with a plate of plain digestives.
Freddie: Well boys, I suppose you know why I've called you here tonight. It looks like this thing has finally got the better of me and I don't think I'm going to be around much longer.
John: What thing?
Freddie: You know, my condition.
John: I'm sorry I haven't got a fucking clue what you're talking about.
John: Who's got AIDS?
Freddie: I've got AIDS?
John: Well this all news to me.
Freddie: Oh of course you weren't at the last meeting were you?
John: No I was on holiday in Beliz.
Brian: (interupting) Look John, Freddie explained to us at our last meeting that he had contracted HIV in the eighties and it was now full blown and he didn't have long to live.
John: But how did you catch AIDS? I thought that only affected drug users and homosexuals.
Roger: For fuck's sake John, don't tell me you didn't know that Freddie was gay.
Brian: I think you missed that meeting too.
Brian hands John a folder containing the minutes of the last twenty years band meetings.
Freddie: While John is catching up I want to straighten out one or two things with you two.
Roger & Brian: OK.
Freddie: First of all, the name Queen dies with me.
Brian: AWWWWW Freddie!
Freddie: No arguments Brian. I don't mind you and Roger going off on your own projests but Queen dies with me.
Roger: Can't we carry on as a three peice band?
Freddie: I don't think John will be able to cope without me to look after him. Just look at the poor bugger.
Freddie points to John who looks up from the papers in the folder.
John: Did we really release Bohemian Rhapsody as a single?
Freddie: You were in Torquay when we had that meeting dear.
John shrugs his shoulders and goes back to reading.
Freddie: (to Roger & Brian) See what I mean.
Brian: So what does the future hold for Roger and me?
Freddie: Don't worry about that. When I pop my clogs our back catalogue will hit the charts like shit off a shovel. Just sit back and watch the cash come rolling in.
Brain & Roger sit staring at their feet with sulky expressions
Freddie: Now listen very carefully boys (Freddie sits up in bed) These are my final wishes and I want you to pa