Forums > Queen - Serious Discussion > Freddie reunited with his Dad

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-fatty- 2850 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 29 Dec 03, 18:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

26th December 2003
The Pearly Gates

(Bomi Bulsara is standing in a queue outside the Pearly Gates)

St Peter: Next.

Bomi: Hello, I wonder if you could help me. I died this afternoon and would like to enter the kindom of heaven.

St Peter: Certainly Sir, If I could just take a few details from you. Can I have your name?

Bomi: Bomi Bulsara.

St Peter: And could I have your religion please?

Bomi: Zoroastrian.

St Peter: Could you spell that for me please?

Bomi: Z.O.R.O.A.S.T.R.I.A.N

St Peter: OK, I think your on the top floor. Now I just need to know the name of your nearest next of kin who died last.

Bomi: That would be my son Farhook.

St Peter: And could I have the date of his death?

Bomi: The 24th of November 1991.

(St Peter clicks away on his keyboard for a while with a puzzled expression on his face)

St Peter: I'm terribley sorry Mr Bulsara but I can't find any record of a Farhook Bulsara who passed away on the 24th of November 1991. Are you sure of the date?

Bomi: I'm positive.

St Peter: Ok. I'll check again.

(St Peter enters the information into the computer again)

St Peter: I'm sorry Mr Bulsara but there is no record of a Farhook Bulsara in the Zoroastrian section.

(Bomi scrathches his head and thinks for a while)

Bomi: Try under Freddie Mercury.

St Peter: Freddie Mercury?

Bomi: Yes.

St Peter: Your son is Freddie Mercury?

Bomi: That's correct.

St Peter: Well bugger me backwards.

Bomi: Is there some kind of problem?

St Peter: Well it's just that I used to frequent a Queen message board on the internet called Queenforever and I was under the impression that God himself had sired Freddie.

Bomi: No I can assure you that he is my son.

St Peter: Well if you would just like to take a seat over there I will ring him down for you.

Bomi: Thank you.

(Bomi takes a seat while St Peter makes a phonecall. After a minute or so Freddie appears )

Freddie: Hiya Dad.

Bomi: Hello son, how are you?

Freddie: Oh can't complain, hows yourself?

Bomi: Surprisingly well for someone who died a few hours ago.

Freddie: And how are Mum and Kash?

Bomi: Yeah they're fine too. In fact your mother seems to look younger with each year that
passes. I reckon she's got another 60 years to go before she goes through puberty backwards.

Freddie: That's great. So tell me what's been happening in the world of Queen since I popped my clogs.

Bomi: Don't you keep up with things from here?

Freddie: You're kidding aren't you? All we get up here is Cliff Richard and Daniel O' fucking Donnel.

Bomi: Oh Dear, you'd better sit down son.

Freddie: Don't worry Dad, just so long as the lads haven't joined forces with some pseudo left-wing comedian to put on a west end show. Or worse, still teamed up with one of those flash in the pan boy bands in a pathtic attempt to pander to pre teen knicker wetters. Or God forbid done a commercial for Pepsi with some vacant pop bimbo.

Bomi: Er.... you'd better lie down son.

fatty.

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Posted: 29 Dec 03, 18:35 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

brilliant !

FriedChicken user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 29 Dec 03, 18:39 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

this is wonderful, your best work ever fatty.

Will there be a book!?!??


"On the first day Pim & Niek created a heavenly occupation. Pim & Niek blessed it and named it 'Loosch'."



(Genesis 1:1)
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Posted: 29 Dec 03, 19:03 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Brilliant Fatty! :)
Cheered me right up!


When you open your heart to a smooth operator...
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Posted: 29 Dec 03, 19:32 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Freddie: That's great. So tell me what's been happening in the world of Queen since I popped my clogs.

Bomi: Don't you keep up with things from here?

Freddie: You're kidding aren't you? All we get up here is Cliff Richard and Daniel O' fucking Donnel.

Bomi: Cliff? You mean that fucker you pranced about the stage with in 1987?

Freddie: That's the one......aw go on Dad, what's have his crimbo singles been like? Oh, do tell? And what about the lads? They haven't joined forces with some pseudo left-wing comedian to put on a west end show. Or worse, still teamed up with one of those flash in the pan boy bands in a pathtic attempt to pander to pre teen knicker wetters. Or God forbid done a commercial for Pepsi with some vacant pop bimbo.

Bomi: Fuck sake son, you must have some mystic Zorastrian third eye?

Freddie: I knew it!! They must be simply dripping with money. It may be vulgar but it's wonderful! All I want is for them to make lots of money and spend, spend, spend!

fatty.



He's my best friend he's my champion
geeksandgeeks user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 29 Dec 03, 20:13 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

*sighs*

Fatty, you are the most insensitive wart I have ever had the misfortune of meeting.

*laughs*


God wants you to send me some money.



"Seven spades doubled, vulnerable, making seven? You BITCH."
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Posted: 29 Dec 03, 21:32 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

That's sick, fatty.

But I laughed my ass off.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]
Voice of Reason 2014 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 30 Dec 03, 07:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote


Well done Fatty!

and to all, a good night!




"Build your muscles as your body decays!"
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Posted: 30 Dec 03, 07:44 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

lovely stuff, go an post in on Queenonline, they'll love it.....


"your shit and you know you are".
Sir Archie 'Tiffany' Leach user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 30 Dec 03, 08:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Top work, especially Freddie's mum's ever growing youthfulness.


Nancy Astor : "If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee".

Winston Churchill : "And if I were your husband I would drink it".
Daburcor? user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 30 Dec 03, 08:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Well it's just that I used to frequent a Queen message board on the internet called Queenforever and I was under the impression that God himself had sired Freddie."

Oooooh... BURN!!!


"Elton John and I became really good friends. I don't mean 'good friends' in that sense. I just mean we slept together." -Billy Joel
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Posted: 30 Dec 03, 12:25 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

LOL fatty


Mejor yo me hecho una chela, y chance enchufo una chava, chambeando de chafirete, me sobra chupe y pachanga



Tranzando de arriba a abajo, hay va la chilanga banda , chinchin si me la recuerdan
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Posted: 30 Dec 03, 12:47 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

fatty- you have to write this book!!!

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Posted: 30 Dec 03, 12:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

LMAO!!! fatty you are a brazen devil! );o)

We all know where fatty is heading for when he "pops his clogs". Pitchfork and horns await ya!

Kriz ;o)


Long Live Queen!!!
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Posted: 30 Dec 03, 17:27 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

LOL @ Fatty - brilliant!


Yes, it's me. I'm back.



I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on a disk somewhere
Matti user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 31 Dec 03, 01:04 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Brilliant indeed!!!! Lol. I loved it. :)


Total Blam Blam
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Posted: 31 Dec 03, 12:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

LOL, it's BRILLIANT! :D I'm sure you can make much money on writing a book ;) Great!


`Big bad big boy big bad Leroy Brown, I'm gonna get that cutie pieĀ“