Forums > Personal > Fatty's Greatest Hits

forum rss feed
Author

-fatty- 2850 user not visiting Queenzone.com
-fatty- 2850
Deity: 2029 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 12 Jan 04, 18:50 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

To celebrate my induction into the Queenzone Hall of Fame (I swear this hat used to fit me) I will be taking a leaf out of Bryan Ferry's book and re-releasing all the old shite that seemed to make folk smile.
This complilation is not available in any shops and will hopefully disguise the fact that I no longer have anything worthwhile to offer.
In a feeble attempt to make myself sound more witty and charming than I actually am, I have included a special bonus interview with myself which can be found at the bottom of those links.

Enjoy.


http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=141616&TOPIC_SUBJECT=Describe+each+Queenzoneer

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=152318&TOPIC_SUBJECT=The+Gospel+According+To+Fatty

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=1&Q_FORUM_NAME=Queen&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=173138&TOPIC_SUBJECT=The+Keyhole

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=1&Q_FORUM_NAME=Queen&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=171058&TOPIC_SUBJECT=Let%27s+have+a+bit+of+fun+after+this+%27big+thread%27+palaver

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=185056&TOPIC_SUBJECT=THE+WIZARD+OF+QZ

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=189737&TOPIC_SUBJECT=reasons+why+Jake+won%27t+kill+himself

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=190844&TOPIC_SUBJECT=Queenzone+numpties+on+Parkinson

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=191810&TOPIC_SUBJECT=I+have+spoken+to+Freddie

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=192622&TOPIC_SUBJECT=+IT%27S+OFFICIAL+%3A+JAKE+IS+NOT+DEAD

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=193391&TOPIC_SUBJECT=ARE+YOU+JAKE%3F%3F%3F

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=199376&TOPIC_SUBJECT=Jake%27s+Diary

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=200552&TOPIC_SUBJECT=The+Ballad+of+Jake

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=205390&TOPIC_SUBJECT=Queenzone+Top+Ten+Cunts

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=219897&TOPIC_SUBJECT=First+Annual+Queenzone+Covention+at+Edmonton+Sheraton

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=230987&TOPIC_SUBJECT=Interview+with+Freddie+VTB

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=3&Q_FORUM_NAME=Personal&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=235563&TOPIC_SUBJECT=My+

http://www.queenzone.com/queen/forum/topic_view.asp?Q_FORUM_ID=1&Q_FORUM_NAME=Queen&Q_FORUM_TOPIC_ID=294156&TOPIC_SUBJECT=Queen%2D+A+TV+Channel%21

fatty.

-fatty- 2850 user not visiting Queenzone.com
-fatty- 2850
Deity: 2029 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 12 Jan 04, 18:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Terry Wogan: My next guest has been described as a fat cunt, a convicted sex offender and a habitual drug abuser. For the past four years he has been trawling around various Queen internet message boards and ripping off other peoples material which he has passed off as his own. He's just been inducted into the Queenzone Hall of Fame and coincidently released a greatest hits thread of his own.
Ladies and gentlemen please put your contempt to one side for a second and welcome Fatty.

Fatty: Thank you Terry.

Terry: Well fatty, how does it feel to be inducted into the Queenzone Hall of Fame?

Fatty: It's such an honour Terry, it really is and if I could just thank Flashman for his support and faith in nominating me.

Terry: And will you be rewarding his efforts?

Fatty: Yes, I have destroyed the negatives as promised.

Terry: Now for the benefit of newbies, you caused a bit of a stir with your very fist posting on the old official Queen bulletin board. What was it you posted way back in 1999?

Fatty: It was just an innocent little joke.

Terry: Would you care to remind us of that joke?

Fatty: I'm not sure I remember it.

Terry: I have it here.

Fatty: Aw fuck.

Terry: It was "What's pink, fluffy and covered in dust?"

Fatty (twidles thumbs and moves awkwardly in his seat)

Terry: Can you remember the punchline?

Fatty: yes

Terry: And would you like to deliver that punchline for us?

Fatty: er..it was...er...um...Freddie's slippers.

Terry: Freddie's slippers?

Fatty: Yes.

Terry: Hmmmmm. You didn't think that joke was in poor taste at all?

Fatty: I thought Queen fans had a sense of humour

Terry: But before you registered on the bulletin board you had visited the fan club chatroom on a number of occasions hadn't you?

Fatty: A couple of times yes.

Terry: So after two seperate visits to the fan club chatroom you still laboured under the impression that Queen fans had a sense of humour.

Fatty: Listen Terry, this is getting a bit heavy isn't it. I thought this was supposed to be a light hearted interview about what a great guy I am.

Terry: I'm sorry fatboy but anyone who visited the fan club chatroom and thought they had a sense of humour is either a liar or a fucking imbecile.

Fatty: Ok terry, you've made your point now let's try and keep this friendly eh?

Terry: Moving swiftly along, you made quite an impression on the old fan club board didn't you?

Fatty: I like to think so.

Terry: Tell us about the e-mail you received from Jacky

Fatty: Look just drop it will you?

Terry: You teamed up with another Queen fan on the old board and the pair of you were a right old double act weren't you?

Fatty: Yeah, Holly and I had some great laughs and we were a kind of double act for a while.

Terry: Fatty and Holly eh? a bit like Morcambe and Wise.

Fatty: Well I don't know if we were in their league but that kind of thing yeah.

Terry: Like Reeves and Mortimer?

Fatty: (laughs)

Terry: Or Hindley and Brady?

Fatty: WHAT?

Terry: Tell us what inspires you to write these stories

Fatty: Well what I normally do is think of a situation involving members of Queen or in some cases the fans who use the message boards. I then put them into a situation that brings out their sterotypical personalities. I write out a brief synopsis, go back over it a couple of times and when I come to the awful realisation that there is nothing funny about it whatsoever, I get hold of an old copy of Viz or Private Eye and rip it off word for word.

Terry: So if the truth be told, you haven't a creative bone in your body

Fatty: Not one.

Terry: Over the years you made a few enemies on Queenzone

Fatty: I may have disagreed with people from time to time but I wouldn't go so far as to call them enemies. In fact I remember when the Queen Mother shuffled off her mortal coil. I posted a reply to a thread from my good pal Bob in which I stated that I would like to dance on the

Flashman user not visiting Queenzone.com
Flashman
Deity: 4523 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 13 Jan 04, 05:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Bless you fatty. I look forward to your 'Greatest Hits II' with salivating anticipation.
But you can stick volume 3 right up your greasy crack.

He's a rum bugger is ol' fatty, but he's a top fellow and we're lucky to have him.




FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.
Prince Charles III user not visiting Queenzone.com

Be Gentle, I'm a newbie: 10 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 13 Jan 04, 10:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Dear Fatty, I have brought to Mothers notice your services to mirth making and merryment to you fellow Queenzoners and fat people. She is considering whether to Knight you, award a CBE or MBE. WHich would you prefer old bean?

Matti user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1619 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 13 Jan 04, 11:15 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Lol @ fatty


Total Blam Blam
Mayboy user not visiting Queenzone.com

Deity: 6181 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 13 Jan 04, 13:53 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

That brightened up my boring college day :D LOL fatty


"I'm going up Buchanan Street

With a box of fireworks

And two bottles of

Tizer"

Sir Archie 'Tiffany' Leach user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1331 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 13 Jan 04, 15:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Cracking stuff.

Hey Flashman I thought you were supposed to be off work with flu?

As for Price Charles III 'old bean' is copyrighted to my goodself. I was the first to pinch those words so by my reckoning I own them.

Get your own scriptwriter!


Nancy Astor : "If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee".

Winston Churchill : "And if I were your husband I would drink it".
Prince Charles III user not visiting Queenzone.com

Be Gentle, I'm a newbie: 10 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 13 Jan 04, 16:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"As for Price Charles III 'old bean' is copyrighted to my goodself. I was the first to pinch those words so by my reckoning I own them."

Since you are using the Queens (My Mother) english then she has copyright - unless you were the one who she said "aquired" the rights. If that is the case then go ahead and keep using it Sir Archie.

Tally Ho

HRH Prince.

Panchgani user not visiting Queenzone.com
St Peter's Burnt Piano
Panchgani
Deity: 6373 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 14 Jan 04, 00:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Glad to see that Fatty has broken out of his one story slump in a big way.


Roger: I like it. If you don't. Sod you!



Queen song poll: http://home.comcast.net/~vantricers/index.html



B-52's: I, I, I'm lookin for some fun - waitin for the REAL Queen Box Sets to come
Sir Archie 'Tiffany' Leach user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1331 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 14 Jan 04, 15:19 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Yo Charlie I'm sure English should be spelt with a capital 'e'. Surely someone with your privileged background and education would have known that.

I say orf with your head!


Nancy Astor : "If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee".

Winston Churchill : "And if I were your husband I would drink it".
Prince Charles III user not visiting Queenzone.com

Be Gentle, I'm a newbie: 10 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 14 Jan 04, 16:32 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sir Archie, your comments have been noted, but since I did not actually type out the message personally (it was the butler, who regularly takes dictation from me) that request should be bestowed upon said person.

HRH Prince.

The Prophet user not visiting Queenzone.com

Bohemian: 612 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 17 Jan 04, 21:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Nice to relive some of these golden moments. ;)


Love is still the answer