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Queenleaf user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 20 Jan 04, 11:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I don't believe I've ever posted this here. It's a family favorite. The second sort of goes with it.... lol

12 LITTLE BOTTLES


I had 12 little bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to
empty the contents of every bottle down the sink or else...

I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork
from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the
exception of one glass, which I drank.

I extracted the cork from the second bottle and, with the exception of one
glass which I drank, poured that one down the sink.

Then I withdrew the cork from the third bottle and did likewise, with the
exception of one glass, which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle from the cork
of the rest and drank the sink of it and then the rest down the glass.

I pulled the cork from the fifth glass and poured the cork down the bottle.
Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink, and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted
the bottles, corks, glasses, and sinks with the other (which were 29) and
as the house came by I counted them again and finally had all the houses in
one bottle, which I drank.

I am not under the affluence of incahol, but thinkly peep I am, and I am
not half so drunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who
is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get!

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Holiday Fruitcake Recipe

You'll need the following:
1 C water
1 C sugar
4 large eggs
2 C dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 C brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the
highest quality.

Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

Add 1 tsp sugar and beat again..

Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Try another cup.

Turn off the mixerer..

Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turnerer..

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a
drewscriver..

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity..

Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares..

Check the whiskey..

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find..

Grease the oven..

Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees..

Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl out of the window..

Check the whiskey again. Go to bed. Who the fell likes druitcake anyway.....


Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

-Sir Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist
Queenleaf user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1381 posts
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Posted: 20 Jan 04, 12:03 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

lmao @ your profile pic!


Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

-Sir Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist
Queenleaf user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1381 posts
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Posted: 20 Jan 04, 13:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

99 bottles of beer on the wall...


Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

-Sir Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist
Krizzy user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 20 Jan 04, 15:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

OMG! Barry that's the last guy I dated before I met my hubby LMAO!!!

Kriz ;o)


Long Live Queen!!!
behind blue eyes user not visiting Queenzone.com

Bohemian: 717 posts
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Posted: 20 Jan 04, 18:53 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

take one down pass it around

:D

Queenleaf user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 23 Jan 04, 17:14 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

lol Krizzy!

I think I konw who charles baer is guys... sorry... but he's my cousin. You would have to know my cousin really but he tried to feel me up when I saw him at Thanksgiving... oh I hate him! luckily he lives in PA so I don't have to see him alot!


Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

-Sir Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist
Antici...pation user not visiting Queenzone.com

Champion: 81 posts
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Posted: 24 Jan 04, 15:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

hehehe cool jokes lol :P



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