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Flashman user not visiting Queenzone.com
Flashman
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Posted: 31 Jan 04, 13:06 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

It's a rum old place is QueenZone, full of fruitcakes, charlatans and no-marks. No offence intended if you unfortunately happen to be one of the above. But if you sift through the dire and moribund, occasionally you might scoop the odd golden nugget which either tickles your funny bone or just makes you think. Rarely, it can do both.
But the following, in my most worthy and unarguable opinion, comes into that category - and for that very reason is the first recipient of the much coveted Flashman's 'Absolutely Capital' Award.

It's short but sweet, and I reprint it below for your viewing pleasure. Please raise your glasses in a toast to the inimitable...

***Bob The Shrek***

"When I was an undertaker I was called to a flat in the Wandsworth Bridge Road, London.

I hadn't even opened the front door and already the stench was wafting up my nostrils. I found the flat's resisdent in the toilet. He had died on the toilet some 3 months before, a single bar electric fire adding to the decomposition process - plus the dog had eaten a part of him before it died too. Maggots were everywhere - truly a disgusting site for anyone to behold.

Dirty bastard didn't even wipe his arse either ;-)"




FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.
Daburcor? user not visiting Queenzone.com
Daburcor?
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Posted: 31 Jan 04, 13:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

That was a great post... GREAT GOING BOB!!! :D LOL!


"Elton John and I became really good friends. I don't mean 'good friends' in that sense. I just mean we slept together." -Billy Joel
Mayboy user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 31 Jan 04, 13:15 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

LOL That made me laugh, a well deserved win :)

Congrats Bob :D


"I'm going up Buchanan Street

With a box of fireworks

And two bottles of

Tizer"

look what they've done to claudi.... user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 31 Jan 04, 14:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

congrats bob


really important people never have anything really important to say.



if someone gets you down, stick your feet in their lemonade.
Janet user not visiting Queenzone.com
Janet
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Posted: 31 Jan 04, 14:14 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Go Shwekky!!! :-D


-If you want the best seat in the house, you have to move the cat.





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Posted: 31 Jan 04, 14:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Congrats!!:D


Queen Rules-Rock On!!!

...I`m Lord of all Darkness,I`m Queen of the night...
MexQueenFM user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 31 Jan 04, 15:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

good post there Bob :)


Mejor yo me hecho una chela, y chance enchufo una chava, chambeando de chafirete, me sobra chupe y pachanga



Tranzando de arriba a abajo, hay va la chilanga banda , chinchin si me la recuerdan
Bob The Shrek user not visiting Queenzone.com
Bob The Shrek
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Posted: 31 Jan 04, 17:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

It is with great humility and a little tear in my eye that I proudly accept the inaugural 'Absolutely Capital' award.

I would like to thank Flashman for taking time away from servicing his fillies to decide upon this award scheme. I would also like to thank Fatty for not posting too much recently and thereby allowing me a shot at winning! Final thanks must go to the old man and his dog who lived in the flat, above the pine furniture shop, on Wandsworth Bridge road - without whose spectacularly nasty demise would not have made this award possible! :-)

Look out for further posts, such as: How to sex a body that has been hit by an InterCity 125 at Weybridge station, How soon after fishing a body out of the Grand Union Canal can I eat my cream cake and Is it wrong to make picture patterns out of someones blood and brains after emptying both barrels of a shotgun in their mouth.


Cleveland May 24 to June 4th 2007 - I came, I saw, I fucked off home again.
Maz user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 31 Jan 04, 17:28 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"How to sex a body that has been hit by an InterCity 125 at Weybridge station,"

Hey Pal, what you do in your personal time is your business. There's no need to share your perverted sexual habits with us!!


Oh wait, misread that. Carry on.


DJ's the man we love the most
Daburcor? user not visiting Queenzone.com
Daburcor?
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Posted: 31 Jan 04, 18:20 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Look out for further posts, such as: How to sex a body that has been hit by an InterCity 125 at Weybridge station, How soon after fishing a body out of the Grand Union Canal can I eat my cream cake and Is it wrong to make pictures patterns out of someones blood and brains after emptying both barrels of a shotgun in their mouth."

ROTFLMAO!!! I think the award should be taken back and then given to him again for that post! LOL!


"Elton John and I became really good friends. I don't mean 'good friends' in that sense. I just mean we slept together." -Billy Joel
Queenleaf user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 31 Jan 04, 20:57 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

oh lol shrek and flashy!


Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

-Sir Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist
Lester Burnham user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 31 Jan 04, 22:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

These fucking award shows are always fixed. Maybe I'll win next month. And if I don't...

*grumble*

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Posted: 01 Feb 04, 11:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Not on my shift. *sets Lester on fire*


...this kettle is boiling over...

...one dump...one turd...two tits...John Deacon...

...one prawn...one shrimp...one clam...one chicken!
Mrs.Taylor user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 01 Feb 04, 15:59 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Ewwwwwwwww! But LMAO!!!!!



Yes, it's me. I'm back.



I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on a disk somewhere
dragonzflame user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 01 Feb 04, 17:09 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Bob should compile all his undertaker stories and put them onto a website.



When life hands you lemons, add vodka.
AC user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 01 Feb 04, 17:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Congratulations, Bob. You're my hero.


That time will come, one day you'll see that i'll be dead and you will laugh!
inu-liger user not visiting Queenzone.com
inu-liger
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Posted: 01 Feb 04, 17:54 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Maybe I should get an award for best nick change (jk)

Lester Burnham user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 01 Feb 04, 18:19 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Holy crap! Put out the fire! Put out the fire!!