Forums > Personal > Things you wish you'd said but didn't have the gumption.

forum rss feed
Author

Sir Archie 'Tiffany' Leach user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1331 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 15 Mar 04, 15:05 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

For example I, Sir Archie, used to work in an electrical shop selling...err...electrical stuff. Well basically a right fuckwit of a customer rang up and was speaking to one of my colleagues, Roxanne*. He wanted to know something technical about ventilation fans. Well Roxanne didn't have a clue (what with being a bit of fluff and all). So she asked Sir Archie the question (I think she secretly wanted a bit).

The customer asked who she was talking too and she replied 'Sir Archie'.

The customer replied 'What you asking him for he doesn't know the difference between a fan and a fanny**'

I was shocked into silence (cos I did know the difference).

But later after thinking about it I kicked myself when I thought of a good reply.

When tithead customer said 'What you asking him for he doesn't know the difference between a fan and a fanny'.

I should have replied, nay roared 'Yes but I know what a cunt looks like'. (For the benefit of Dark I was implying the customer).

How I would have laughed at the job centre.

I'm glad I've got that off my chest it's been eating me up inside for three years.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent
** for US citizens it's what you'd call...err...'a woman's area'.


Nancy Astor : "If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee".

Winston Churchill : "And if I were your husband I would drink it".
~Silje~ user not visiting Queenzone.com

Bohemian: 978 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 15 Mar 04, 15:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Some years ago, in my former class, I sat next to a deskmate which was not just slightly annoying. Straight behind him, some clever teacher placed his best friend, and they made an "amusing" couple. They spent most of the time talking, sometimes dragging me and another friend of mine into their conversation.
So, once the conversation went like this:
Guy: *says something about girls and looks*
Guy 2: "Yeah, I always look at girls breast, and if it's A-cup I simply don't speak to them no more"
*looks at me, who was very flat-chested*
Guy 2: "But I'm sure you do the same thing when it comes to a guy's dick, right Silje?"

What I should've answered: "Well yeah, that's why I so rarely speak to you."

What I answered: I don't know, can't recall, but it was not as good as that!




If God intended us to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
Sir Archie 'Tiffany' Leach user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1331 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 15 Mar 04, 15:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

By jove that's the spirit!

Anymore for anymore?


Nancy Astor : "If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee".

Winston Churchill : "And if I were your husband I would drink it".
Daburcor? user not visiting Queenzone.com
Daburcor?
Deity: 9478 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 15 Mar 04, 16:39 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

As I said before Lil' Bit, You should've said them ALL. ;)


"Elton John and I became really good friends. I don't mean 'good friends' in that sense. I just mean we slept together." -Billy Joel
inu-liger user not visiting Queenzone.com
inu-liger
Deity: 13057 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 15 Mar 04, 16:45 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"(For the benefit of Dark I was implying the customer)"

Thanks :)

Flashman user not visiting Queenzone.com
Flashman
Deity: 4523 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 15 Mar 04, 18:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

You know me - never short of something to say, especially when it comes to belittling folk. I consider it an art form.

I remember one time at the golf club, after the Captain's Day dinner, when I was taking this young oik to the cleaners on the billiards table. He had the barefaced affrontery to accuse me of cheating. I was, but that was besides the point. I had no intention of being shown up in front of some of high societies biggest movers and shakers - you never know when you might need to tap a few bob, for bail and the like.
Quite a throng had gathered around when he blurted "Sir, you are a cheat and a bounder!"

Guilty as charged I may be, but there were ladies present so I had to come up with something decent to make me look good and hopefully increase my already better than even odds of chucking my leg over.

Unfortunately, I'd downed one too many sherberts, so I couldn't think of anything better than "Rot you!" as I clubbed him over the head with my cue before being ejected by Big Tony and banned for life.

This country!



FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.
Penetration_Guru user not visiting Queenzone.com
Penetration_Guru
Deity: 11013 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 15 Mar 04, 18:11 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Spur of the moment put downs I can do all day and all night, but I'd hate to be the kind of sad lonely individual that remembered them.



fairy_mercury user not visiting Queenzone.com

Champion: 94 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 05:48 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

aaah put downs...sarcastic remarks, hey that was what i was born for...too many to remember and i think ive never walked away from a situation where i could've said something better! Oh no there was one situation, but i was crying too much to talk anyways so just gave em a slap! that felt good ;D


"another tricky situation, i get to drowning in the blues, and i find myself thinking..well...what would you do?"
fairy_mercury user not visiting Queenzone.com

Champion: 94 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 05:48 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

aaah put downs...sarcastic remarks, hey that was what i was born for...too many to remember and i think ive never walked away from a situation where i could've said something better! Oh no there was one situation, but i was crying too much to talk anyways so just gave em a slap! that felt good ;D


"another tricky situation, i get to drowning in the blues, and i find myself thinking..well...what would you do?"
Daburcor? user not visiting Queenzone.com
Daburcor?
Deity: 9478 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 05:48 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

There are quite a few things that I wish I'd have said or wish I would say. But they are personal, So they will stay that way.


"Elton John and I became really good friends. I don't mean 'good friends' in that sense. I just mean we slept together." -Billy Joel
Catgoddess user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1142 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 12:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I always have the gumption.


No synthesisers
NoOneButYou1975 user not visiting Queenzone.com

Deity: 2320 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 12:57 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I always have the gumption.

i tried reaching mine once...:P


I'm caught in between with a fading dream ..........



http://groups.yahoo.com/group/QueenForADay



Sir Archie 'Tiffany' Leach user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1331 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 15:13 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Miss James that was a bit rum you nearly swore!

You should have kicked him in the jaffas.
Tantamount to kiddie fiddling is that.



Nancy Astor : "If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee".

Winston Churchill : "And if I were your husband I would drink it".
geeksandgeeks user not visiting Queenzone.com

Deity: 4296 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 16:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Last night, several things:

1) "Governor Fletcher, that was the worst speech I've ever heard."

2) "Tell me, Governor Fletcher, if you really care about us so much, why do you keep cutting education funds?

3) "Governor Fletcher, now is not the time to be yipping about taxes."

4) "Governor Fletcher, I d0on't care about basketball, or Murray state, of U of L, or UK, just finish the frickin ceremony so that I can go home..."

5) "Alan, will you go out with me?"


God wants you to send me some money.



"Seven spades doubled, vulnerable, making seven? You BITCH."
Sir Archie 'Tiffany' Leach user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1331 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 16:49 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Is Governor Fletcher's first name Alan?


Nancy Astor : "If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee".

Winston Churchill : "And if I were your husband I would drink it".
NoOneButYou1975 user not visiting Queenzone.com

Deity: 2320 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 16:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

is Fletcher's hobby making Corny dogs :) :P


I'm caught in between with a fading dream ..........



http://groups.yahoo.com/group/QueenForADay



geeksandgeeks user not visiting Queenzone.com

Deity: 4296 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 17:09 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Funny. But Governor Fletcher's first name is Ernie. He's the new governor of Kentucky, and he's a moron.




God wants you to send me some money.



"Seven spades doubled, vulnerable, making seven? You BITCH."
Mr.Jingles user not visiting Queenzone.com
Mr.Jingles
Deity: 10532 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 17:10 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

When I used to work at the supermarket I called the customer a bitch. Not to her face though, but I didn't realize that her mother was listening to me.

Anyways this lady was screaming at this girl called Dana that I used to work with. Dana was just trying to help her pack her stuff in the best way possible, and she just kept telling her that she wasn't doing it the right way. Then I asked Dana why was that lady being such bitch to her. I didn't realize her mother was still behind me and she stormed out and call her daughter to confront me and then she went to complain to the manager.

Anyways, I don't regret calling her a bitch because she was indeed one. I didn't care if it got me fired though.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]
iron eagle user not visiting Queenzone.com

Deity: 3793 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 17:46 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

have some fucking backbone would ya weiny


thats what i would say....
on tuesday

on weds it could be something totally different


i got a way with the boys on my block.. :-)

NoOneButYou1975 user not visiting Queenzone.com

Deity: 2320 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 16 Mar 04, 17:50 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

on weds it could be something totally different


eagerly awaits... :)


I'm caught in between with a fading dream ..........



http://groups.yahoo.com/group/QueenForADay