This is the first in a series of FAQ threads to enable new-comers to gather information before asking stupid questions. The first section deals with the most common questions relating to the sad demise of Freddie Mercury. All information is correct to the best of my knowledge.
Q. When did Freddie discover he had AIDS?
A. The exact date is unknown but a rough guess would be 3.10pm on Thursday 28th of April 1987.
Q. Why did Freddie keep his illness a secret until the day before he died?
A. Freddie was notoriously selfish. Had he gone public he would have given the world's press the opportunity to respect his privacy and allow him to live out his remaining years with dignity. Sadly Freddie played us all for saps.
Q. Who was actually with Freddie when he died?
A. Current estimates put the number somewhere between 750 and 1000. The people who we know were there include Dave Clarke, Jim Hutton, Pheobe, Joe Fannelli, Rick Sky, Kenny Everett, Elton John, Roger Taylor, Brian May, John Deacon, Michael Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor, Bubbles, Jim Beach and the 1986 England World Cup Squad.
Q. What kind of funeral did Freddie have?
A. Zoroastrians follow the teachings of the 19th century mexican prophet Zorro and although Freddie wasn't a follower of the religion itself, he wanted to have a traditional Zoroastrian funeral. The entire ceremony was performed in black& white and a male voice choir sang a traditional hymn.
'Out of the night, when the moon is bright
rides a horseman known as Zorro
see him carve a Z with his blade
a Z that stands for Zorro
Zorro- a fox so cunning and free
Zorro- who makes the sign of the Z'
The coffin was carried into the chapel by 6 mexican soldiers and the minister who was dressed in a black hat, mask and cloak swang from the chadelier before doing a bid-air backflip and landed on a horse. The minister then asked the congregation to stand while he pushed the fat seargant into a trough
Q. What happened to the other people who lived at Garden Lodge?
A. The only other people who lived at Garden Lodge were Jim Hutton the gardener, Joe Fannelli the cook and Pheobe the cleaning lady. When Freddie died, he left the house to Mary Austin who took to dressing up in a black top hat and frock coat. She threw the three remaining occupants of the household out into the street, stopping occasionally to laugh and twirl the ends of her thick black moustche.
Q. What happened to Freddie's ashes?
A. The exact whereabouts of Freddie's ashes remain a closely guarded secret. There has been speculation that the ashes are buried beneath a cherry tree in the garden of Mary's house. Others believe that they were scattered on the lake outside Freddie's Switzerland home. I myself prefer to believe that they were stolen from Freddie's parents and sold on e-bay. This is not a particularly pleasant scenario but it would at least mean I didn't fork out £5,000 on the contents of a pub ashtray.
Q. Is there anywhere fans can go to pay their respects to Freddie.
A. There are several ways that fans can show how much they cared for Freddie. The simplest and most effective way would be to make a small donation to an AIDS charity such as The Terrence Higgins Trust or The Mercury Phoenix Trust. Alternatively you could visit the statue of Freddie in Switzerland and leave a small bunch of flowers. If you were a real fan however you would arm yourself with a big fat magic marker and scrawl a message of love on the wall outside Garden Lodge. Mary Austin enjoys reading all those messages of love and sympathy and if she sees you writing on the wall she will most likely invite youindoors for a cup of tea and a chat. She might even allow you to take home a small momento or item of furniture in exchange for the kind words on the wall.
Q. Lately there have been rumours that Freddie faked his own death and now drives buses for a living in Edinburgh. Is this likely?
A. Fuck off!