Forums > Queen - Serious Discussion > FAQ: John Deacon

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-fatty- 2850 user not visiting Queenzone.com
-fatty- 2850
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Posted: 21 Mar 04, 13:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Q. Why is John Deacon listed as Deacon John in the credits of Queen's first album?
A. In the early seventies it was advisible to have a clergyman appear on your record if you wanted to avoid being affiliated with satanic bands. Certain bands (Led Zep, Black Sabbath, Cilla Black) were all devil worshipers and as such found themselves banned from church halls or conservative council run venues.
Queen got around this by putting John through four years of theology at Leicester University. Not only could John play bass at concerts, he could carry out weddings, christenings and funerals if the need arose. Sadly John was excommunicated after an unfortunate incident involving a choir boy and a half bottle of communion wine. By the time Queen 2 came along he was back to plain old John Deacon.

Q.Has John ever released a solo album?
A. John released a solo album in 1989 entitled 'Man In The Shadows' John denies that the album is autobiographical but the track listing is as follows.
1. The Quiet Place.
2. All I Want Is To Be Alone.
3. The Hermit's Song.
4. Who Needs Friends?
5. Go Away.
6. Stick Your Band Up Your Arse.
7. Fuck Off and Leave Me Alone.
8. The Hermit's Song (reprise)

Q. How many children does John have?
A. When John was last seen in public (chairing a Cow & Gate shareholders meeting in 2002) he had 27 children, 58 grandchildren and 211 great grandchildren. A recent census has claimed that 77% of children born in England since 1967 can be traced back to John.

Q. Why does John avoid anything connected with Queen these days (eg. The musical, the pepsi commercial, the Nelson Mandella benefit concert)?
A. There could be a number of reasons why John no longer wants to be associated with Queen. Perhaps he has grown jaded of the showbusiness lifestyle. Perhaps his wife no longer lets him out of the house unaccompanied, for fear of finding him in a lap-dancing bar. The most likely scenario is that John still has a shred of dignity left in his body and the thought of dragging a once great band's name through a never ending stream of boy bands and pre-teen sluts makes his blood rum cold.

Q.Were Freddie and John ever lovers?
A. Yes.

fatty.



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Posted: 21 Mar 04, 13:59 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Well done Chap!

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David Jones
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Posted: 21 Mar 04, 13:59 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I really wanna hear Man In The Shadows now! More great work Fatty!


"Freddie would have loved it" - Brian May
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Posted: 21 Mar 04, 13:59 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"A recent census has claimed that 77% of children born in England since 1967 can be traced back to John."

- lol that is fantastic.


There's more to life than a bulletin board.
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Posted: 21 Mar 04, 14:25 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I knew there was truth to the John/Freddie rumours!

Thanks, fatty!

-Amethyst




~~~

"You haven't lived until you've swallowed Freddie Mercury's cum." -- Roger Taylor

~~~
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Posted: 21 Mar 04, 14:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

LMAO!! Fatty,-you`re the best!!


Queen Rules-Rock On!!!

...I`m Lord of all Darkness,I`m Queen of the night...
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Posted: 21 Mar 04, 15:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"6 - Stick Your Band Up Your Arse"

Was that the one released as a double A side with My Band Went to Rio, And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt?

Nicki


let me out of this cheap B movie
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Posted: 21 Mar 04, 16:27 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I will say fatty, on this occasion that that was VERY FUNNY!!!!

You made me laugh so much hehe. u nutter

Keep on rockin matey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

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Posted: 22 Mar 04, 08:13 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. The Quiet Place.
2. All I Want Is To Be Alone.
3. The Hermit's Song.
4. Who Needs Friends?
5. Go Away.
6. Stick Your Band Up Your Arse.
7. Fuck Off and Leave Me Alone.
8. The Hermit's Song (reprise)

LMAO

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Posted: 22 Mar 04, 10:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

just whats needed to cheer me up hehe ;D


"another tricky situation, i get to drowning in the blues, and i find myself thinking..well...what would you do?"
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Posted: 22 Mar 04, 10:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

this is one of the most hilarious posts you ever made, fatty!


An interview? Oh, don't be ridiculous...
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Daburcor?
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Posted: 22 Mar 04, 10:27 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"A recent census has claimed that 77% of children born in England since 1967 can be traced back to John."

ROTFLMAO!!! Those Deacons have been BUSY. @_@


"Elton John and I became really good friends. I don't mean 'good friends' in that sense. I just mean we slept together." -Billy Joel
Little_Queenie user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 22 Mar 04, 10:30 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

You're crazy, LMAAOOOOO:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Oh fuck off fatty, now i started to cry because of too much laughing and my make up is ruined:(((((((( Now have to do it all over again, you.... you.. grrr


Give me a good guitar, and you can say that my hair's a disgrace, oh, just find me an open car - I'll make the speed of light out of this place...
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Posted: 22 Mar 04, 15:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

My favorite post so far!!! Love it, fatty!


...Erica*



"I don't judge others. I say if you feel good with what you're doing, let your freak flag fly."

--Sarah Jessica Parker
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Posted: 23 Mar 04, 00:59 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Q.Were Freddie and John ever lovers?
A. Yes."

LMAO!! great work fatty!!


Mejor yo me hecho una chela, y chance enchufo una chava, chambeando de chafirete, me sobra chupe y pachanga



Tranzando de arriba a abajo, hay va la chilanga banda , chinchin si me la recuerdan
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Posted: 23 Mar 04, 06:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<<..makes his blood rum cold>>

Mmm, I wouldn't mind cutting John in that case.


...this kettle is boiling over...

...one dump...one turd...two tits...John Deacon...

...one prawn...one shrimp...one clam...one chicken!
geeksandgeeks user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 23 Mar 04, 15:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sorry, Fatty, but I don't think that was one of your better ones.

The Brian one was better :)


God wants you to send me some money.



"Seven spades doubled, vulnerable, making seven? You BITCH."
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Posted: 26 Mar 04, 06:35 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

WHOAH!!!!!!!!!!! IS THAT ALL TRUE?! I REALLY LOVE JOHN DEACON! I EVEN HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON HIM. BUT IS THIS ALL TRUE?! FREDDIE AN JOHN?! WHAT?! I LOVE THEM BOTH VERY MUCH! WAAHAAAHAA! THEY ARE SO CUTE! THIS TOPIC IS THE COOLEST TOPIC EVER! YOU DESERVE AN APPLAUSE! BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!


Queen is the greatest rock band in the whole universe! Freddie Mercury will always be in my heart! I love him very much!
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Posted: 26 Mar 04, 17:44 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! That was really, really funny! Hehehehehe, good job! ROTFLMAO


Inside my heart is breaking,

My make-up may be flaking,

But my smile still stays on.