Whilst perusing the lingerie section in my latest Peter Craig catalogue I felt an inexplicably strange sensation. I'd come up with a topic for the Queen section!
Anyway I thought seeing as Brian and Roger have sold the family silver to any bugger with some spare cash why not go the whole hog and sell products themselves.
I was royally disappointed that the Pepsi advert had some 'unknown' playing the part of the Roman Emperor. Roger was born to play the part. Can you picture it, a rear shot of our Rog, a bevy of Vestal Virgins pampering the smug sod, a green laurel about his bonce and a brilliantly shiny white toga, all very authentic. Slowly the camera pans round to show Roger's face and the vain little bleeders got his shades on.
And why Brian hasn't appeared in any shampoo commercials is beyond me. If you could get him to say he'd been using the same shampoo for 30 years and look how lovely and thick his barnet is. Forget Graham Gooch and Regain. Every bald coot in the land would be reaching for their bottle of TimoTei-Orriatte shampoo. He could even wear his We Will Rock You waistcoat, cos let's face it you can't get the fucking thing off him.
As for dear old John...perhaps Saga holidays. Then again John's too busy ogling lapdancers to bother. Sensible lad.
Ahh yes where was I? Oh yes the girdle section...
Nancy Astor : "If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee".
Winston Churchill : "And if I were your husband I would drink it".