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Posted: 31 May 04, 09:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as?

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?

3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?

12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?
A. Performing a rock concert in front of a sell out crowd at Wembley Stadium.
B. Scoring the winning goal in a World Cup Final
C. Accepting an Oscar at the Academy Awards.

13. If you knew that Osama Bin Laden was hiding in the attic of a school in Afghanistan would you tell George Bush, knowing full well that he would bomb the school even if there were kids inside?

14. If public hangings were brought back would you watch one?

15. You come across a man in the street wiping his shitty arse on your national flag. He's only five foot tall and a skinny wee bugger to boot. Would you admonish him and if so, how?

16.Which of the following monsters scares you the most?
A. Dracula
B. The Wolfman
C. Frankenstein's Monster
D. Zombies

17.Which artist would you have liked to see at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert and what song would you have liked them to perform?

18. Under life and death circumstances, would you eat human flesh?

19. Your son/daughter has invited their latest girlfriend/boyfriend home for t

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Posted: 31 May 04, 09:46 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. Anthony Edwards in Top Gun. Failing that, probably some form of zombie/ghost/alien effort.

2. Depends in front of whom. Also depends on what music, I'm not doing it to fucking hip-hop. Beethoven string quartets or nothing.

3. Jurassic Park, or Razzle.

4. I don't know, probably not. Good question, but I think that given the nature of the brainwashing culture of nazi germany and the fact that I've got more pressing matters on my mind, I'd let it slide. It'd give me summat to think about mind.

5. I'd try, but probably get locked up. Fair enough. Having said that, being anally probed before I even got to jail would be well harsh!

6. Trident and Net, in my spare time I could pretend to be Neptune, king of the sea.

7. Yep.

8. Yeah, probably. I'm a sucker for money and I liked his first three albums.

9. May as well go for the 1 in 5. If it doesn't work, have the other one.

10. To the Children's Hospital.

11. Razzle, Michael Jackson's first 3 albums, Some Beethoven to practice my lap-dancing to, a trident and a net, and an inflatable piano.

12. Performing a rock concert in front of a sell out crowd at Wembley Stadium, no doubt. The Oscars are a sham anyway, and I'm shit at football.

13. I'd tell him but I'd try and think of a way we could bomb the school without the kids in, perhaps during lunch or after 4:00 when they all go home.

14. Yes, both out of curiosity, and if I knew something about the person being hanged.

15. I'd probably ask him what the hell he was doing, and if he got anti-British on me, I'd probably just laugh it off. If he's five foot tall and skinny he should be worrying about other things than whether he likes Britain or not.

16.Which of the following monsters scares you the most?
C. Frankenstein's Monster

17. The Eagles doing a medley that would contain at least Crazy Little Thing, Nevermore, and Dear Friends. It's totally daft to stick CLTCL in there, but I think they'd carry it off.

18. If it was cooked right.

19. Wouldn't even let him through the door.

20.I don't know, about 3 posts worth??!!

Only kidding chief.


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Posted: 31 May 04, 09:57 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as?

-I'd dress like Garfield.

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?

-Hmmm... I dunno... Maybe?

3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?

-Good lord... Uhhh... Right now I'd have to say "If chins could Kill". It's very funny.

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?

-I'm not sure. Was he forced to be a Nazi?

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?

-Nooooooooooo...

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?

-If I can't have the trident and the shield, I'll take the trident and the net.

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?

-Yup, The stupid old bag should've known better.

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?

-Nope. I'd pummel him into a pulp, Thinking he was a ghoul. Then, I'd bring the baby to an orphanage. EAT THAT JACKO! ;)

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?

-I don't know. Maybe try the operation?

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?

-I'd send it to the children's hospital, and then, Like Batman, I'd find some way to get my Dad out of the prison alive.

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?

-My Queen and Billy Joel CD's, a diskman, a sketch pad, pencils, and batteries.

12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?
A. Performing a rock concert in front of a sell out crowd at Wembley Stadium.
B. Scoring the winning goal in a World Cup Final
C. Accepting an Oscar at the Academy Awards.

-A!!! A dream that will never come to fruition... *sniffle*

13. If you knew that Osama Bin Laden was hiding in the attic of a school


"Elton John and I became really good friends. I don't mean 'good friends' in that sense. I just mean we slept together." -Billy Joel
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Posted: 31 May 04, 10:12 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. I'd go as John Holmes.
2. I'd consider it.
3. None
4. Probably not.
5. No, as if anyone would believe it.
6. Sword and shield.
7. Yes, I'd keep it.
8. Well, if no written contract of
keeping my mouth shut would be involved,
I'd take the money and then tell it to the papers (if the money is good)
9. 1 in 5 chance...
10. Now why I'd get two simultanous calls?
Probably I'd favour a relative anyway...
11. -
12. A
13. Yes
14. No
15. No
16. Zombies
17. Peter Straker singing anything...
18. No
19. I will "attempt" ..surely.
20. Now what exactly is this "fucking face"
and how can I use it for my personal
pleasure?



"I think now I can make love to your anus without making God angry"



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Posted: 31 May 04, 10:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as?

NO QUESTION ABOUT IT, I WOULD GO AS FREDDIE :D

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?

OOOH TOUGH ONE, CONSIDERING HOW MUCH MONEY I THINK I WOULD, HANG ON HOW LONG WOULD THE STRIP BE FOR ;)

3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?

LOL I HAVE NO IDEA, PERSONALLY I COULDNT SIT AND READ THE SAME THING FOR A FEW MONTHS, LET ALONE 3 YEARS lol

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?

I DONT THINK I WOULD, I USUALLY JUST BOTTLE THINGS UP ANYWAY AND NOT END UP TELLING ANYONE. A GUILTY CONCIENCE WOULD PROBABLY SET IN TOO BUT IVE HANDLED IT IN THE PAST, SO NO I WOULDNT TELL

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?

I WOULD RUN HOME AND TELL EVERYONE ABOUT IT, IM JUST LIKE THAT. I WOULD INSIST I AM BEING SERIOUS BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY ITS UP TO THEM :)

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?

NO QUESTION ABOUT IT, THE SHORT SWORD AND SHIELD :D

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?

I WOULD GIVE IT BACK, I ALWAYS DO AND BEING ITS A CHARITY SHOP I WOULD FEEL SOOO GUILTY IF I DIDNT

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?

SADLY ENOUGH I THINK I WOULD ACCEPT THE MONEY AND RISK NOT TELLING ANYONE. TELLING WOULD PROBABLY GET THE PRESS INVOLVED I AT NO POINT DO I WANT THAT lol

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?

TAKE THE RISK PROBABLY, CANT THINK OF A GOOD REASON JUST WOULD OK ;)

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?

LOCAL CHILDRENS HOSPITAL

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?

PERSONAL CD PLAYER
2 QUEEN ALBUMS
GAME BOY
1 GAME

12. Which of the followi


"I'm going up Buchanan Street

With a box of fireworks

And two bottles of

Tizer"

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Posted: 31 May 04, 11:44 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as?

>>> Freddie in 'Magic Tour' garb. I would cut such a dash.

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?

>>> Pissed yes, sober no.

3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?

>>> The latest edition of 'Wisden'.

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?

>>> I would be far too busy ensuring he changes his will to suit yours truly.

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?

>>> I wouldn't mention the anal probe. That's my own private kingdom.

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?

>>> Neither. Spring-heeled Reeboks would be my weapon of choice.

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?

>>> People don't actually buy things from such places do they? The tenner would disappear into my back pocket in the blink of an eye.

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?

>>> Filed and receipted.

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?

>>> Anything to keep my precious happy-sacks.

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?

>>> Save the children and how do you know about ol' Flash Snr, rot him?

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?

>>> Reeboks in case of unfriendly natives. Pistol in case of unfriendly natives. Shiny thing to bribe unfriendly natives. Condoms in case of friendly natives. Large bootle of vodka.

12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?
A. Performing a rock concert in front of a sell out crowd at Wembley Stadium.
B. Scoring the winning goal in a Wo


FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



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Posted: 31 May 04, 11:46 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. erm... an Effervescent Elephant.

2. Depends on who it's for.

Members of Queen, Genesis, KoRn or Pink Floyd? I'm on it.

3. That's a hard one. Probably one of the Wayside School books. Those things are hilarious.

4. Hmm... That's hard. I guess it depends on whether he showed remorse? Cos if he's 85 there's not much you can really do to them anyway. I mean, come on, beating the crap out of an 85 year old dude is, like attacking a poodle with an AK-47.

5. Just a few of my friends.

6. Sword and shield.

7. If I realized it when she did it, I'd give it back. If I was already down the street maybe not.

8. If possible, I'd take the million and run off with the baby. Otherwise, hell no, I'd run with the kid all the way to the police station.

9. Hmm, I suppose the op with the 1 in 5 chance. Living with no genitals would be pretty scary.

10. Children's hospital

11. CD Player, Queen's Greatest Hits vol. 1, Genesis' Invisible Touch, Pink Floyd's The Wall, and Mini-Me.

12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?
either A or C. A's never going to happeen, though :)

13. I'd go in and get the bastard myself!

14. Depends on who's getting executed.

15. I'd stomp him down on the ground and pry off his balls with pliers.

16. D. Zombies

17. ROGER WATERS!!!!!!!!! doing, erm... The Show Must Go On? Yeah, I can somewhat see him doing that... And then Syd Barrett shows up and sings I'm Going Slightly Mad, but he'd have to change it to I've Gone Completely Mad.

18. Yes

19. I'd inform him of the fact that he'd better keep his Nazi ass away from us Hispanics.

20. hmm... *ponders*


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Posted: 31 May 04, 12:14 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. You do NOT want to know.

2. Consider it only? Hell yeah. Anyone who says they wouldn't is a liar.

3. "The Stand" by Stephen King may well take me five years to read.

4. Why bother? That was then, this is now. And I say this as a half-Jew.

5. No. First of all, no one would care. Second, no one would belive me if they did.

6. I would choose the trident, etc. Toothpaste is a very effective weapon ;)

7. No. This has happened before, with a lesser sum of money.

8. I'd have to see the million quids first.

9. What on earth are you on about?

10. The hospital. The prisons take care of themselves.

11. 1) 1 Queen album. 2) My laptop. 3) Supply of laptop batteries. 4) my notebook/pen. 5) A small parachute (hey, I've always wanted to learn.

12. It's close between A and C. Think I'll go with C.

13. No. I would contact Al Franken and tell him about it.

14. *makes grotesque face* WHAT KIND OF SICKO DO YOU THINK I AM!?

15. I would stare for a moment and then ignore him.

16. None of the above. DigiMon scares me more, and it's not intimidation either.

17. Nirvana, performing anything.

18. Yes, asuming the bearer was already dead.

19. Yes, because I'm just a nice person like that :)

20. What gave you the idea that I would do it myself? *smiles sweetly*


God wants you to send me some money.



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Posted: 31 May 04, 12:18 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as?

A banjo

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?

Money!

3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?

The Irish Guide to Good Sex

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?

I'd tell my special friend Barry. He's invisible.

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?

Could I get another anal probe?

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?

Trident is a bad word, so I'll go with BANJO!!!

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?

I'd give it to Barry and we'd have coffee

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?

Money!

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?

Ooh... I'll go for the 1 in 5-er. I like the ability to pee right. They screw up that removal operation too often.

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?

Screw dad, and hell, screw the kids. They can all save themselves! But Barry would probably make a call to save the kids.

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?

Brian May, Roger Taylor, a guitar, chocolate and a ball and cup game. My rucksack is pretty big;)

12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?
A. Performing a rock concert in front of a sell out crowd at Wembley Stadium.
B. Scoring the winning goal in a World Cup Final
C. Accepting an Oscar at the Academy Awards.

Ooh... I'll pick D--finally getting to the last world in Super Mario Brothers!

13. If you knew that Osama Bin Laden was hiding in the attic of a school in Afghanistan would you tell George Bush, knowing full well that he would bomb the school even if there were ki


~~~

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~~~
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Posted: 31 May 04, 15:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as?

Maybe just dress up as a Red Indian

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?

LOL, nah im too shy


3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?

Sophie Kinsela "Can you keep a Secrer?"

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?

Nah does it matter?

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?

I'd die of being humiliated, or kill myself straight after

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?

Trident and Net

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?

Of course not

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?

Nope seeing as I want to do Journalism I'd take the baby to care and write an article on how much of a Twat he is.

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?

I don't think I can answere that Q.

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?

Get the engine to the Kids hospital then run and get help for the prison.

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?
1. Supply of Tampax
2. Deodrants
3. A good book
4. Tooth Brush
5. Tooth paste


12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?

C. Accepting an Oscar at the Academy Awards.

13. If you knew that Osama Bin Laden was hiding in the attic of a school in Afghanistan would you tell George Bush, knowing full well that he would bomb the school even if there were kids inside?

Nah, Dont like GB

14. If public hangings were brought back would you watch one?

Depends who was hanging

15. You come across a man in the street wiping his shitty arse on your national flag. He's only five foot tall and a skinny wee bugger to boot. Would

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Posted: 31 May 04, 16:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as?
i hate big parties. id probably stay at home and eat cookies.

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?
to who?

3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?
galapagos by vonnegut

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?
no- id just kill him and hide the evidence

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?
no

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?
trident and net

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?
sure

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?
yup. i could use that money

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?
the first... ow....

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?
the hospital

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?
a mp3 player, a portable tv. thats all that'd fit.

12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?
A. Performing a rock concert in front of a sell out crowd at Wembley Stadium.
B. Scoring the winning goal in a World Cup Final
C. Accepting an Oscar at the Academy Awards.
C

13. If you knew that Osama Bin Laden was hiding in the attic of a school in Afghanistan would you tell George Bush, knowing full well that he would bomb the school even if there were kids inside?
he wouldn't bomb it. hed capture osama alive

14. If public hangings were brought back would you watch one?
no

15. You come across a man in the street wiping his shitty arse on your national flag. He's only five foot tall and a skinny wee bugger to boot. Would you admonish him and if so, how?
naah. i don't really care that much

16.Which of the following monsters scares


Like c.elegans except bigger and more tasty.
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Posted: 31 May 04, 16:37 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. No idea

2. Yes

3. The Bible

4. No

5. No

6. Two swords

7. Of course

8. Of course

9. No idea

10. Father's prison, of course

11. No idea

12. Wembley

13. No, even if there were no kids

14. Sure

15. No

16. Zombies

17. Modern Talking - You're My Heart, You're My Soul (don't kill me, i'm serious)

18. Sure

19. Sure

20. For eternity


Not those are losers who fall, but those who don't stand up.
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Posted: 31 May 04, 17:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as?

Shrek!

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?

Not a chance.

3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?

The History of World War II

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?

Not now - 60 years too late.

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?

No, I assume I was drunk and forget about it.

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?

No guns...dammit....sword & shield

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?

I would return it.

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?

Yes - he is quite capable of dropping himself in the shit.

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?

Whip 'em off - I'd rather live!

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?

Children's Hospital

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?

Cigarettes, a change of clothes, a lighter & lighter fuel, a decent knife, Ray Mear's Book on Survival

12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?
A. Performing a rock concert in front of a sell out crowd at Wembley Stadium.
B. Scoring the winning goal in a World Cup Final
C. Accepting an Oscar at the Academy Awards.

B - I was a crap goal scorer so it would be nice to take the honours for once.

13. If you knew that Osama Bin Laden was hiding in the attic of a school in Afghanistan would you tell George Bush, knowing full well that he would bomb the school even if there were kids inside?

Yes, it's worth the risk.

14. If public hangings were brought back would you watch one?

Probably - I have seen them on video.

15. You come


Cleveland May 24 to June 4th 2007 - I came, I saw, I fucked off home again.
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Posted: 31 May 04, 17:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as

I would wear Liz Taylor's Cleopatra costume.

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?

Depends on who was doing the offering ;-)

3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?

The Wheel of Fortune by Susan Howatch

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?

No.

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?

Yes, any and everyone!

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?

Short sword and shield.

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?

No.

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?

Nope, and I would rat him out as soon as I could.

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?

Take the 1 in 5 chance.

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?

Local children's hospital

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?

a toothbrush, soap, a decent knife, a first aid kit, and my glasses.

12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?
A. Performing a rock concert in front of a sell out crowd at Wembley Stadium.
B. Scoring the winning goal in a World Cup Final
C. Accepting an Oscar at the Academy Awards.

C.

13. If you knew that Osama Bin Laden was hiding in the attic of a school in Afghanistan would you tell George Bush, knowing full well that he would bomb the school even if there were kids inside?

If I knew where he was, I'd kill him myself.

14. If public hangings were brought back would you watch one?

Never.

15. You come across a man in the street wiping his shitty arse on your national flag. He's only five foot tall and a skinny wee bugger to boot. Would you


-If you want the best seat in the house, you have to move the cat.





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Posted: 31 May 04, 18:12 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as?

-Bjork. *snicker*

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?

-nope.

3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?

-Probably... the Chinese slang dictionary. Serves those little guard bastards right to be cursed at in Chinese.

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?

-Sure would! Dirty bloody bastard, but in my little hick town he'd probably be famous and everyone would have him signing autographs.

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?

-Hell no. Not because of the embarassment but because I wouldn't want to relive the moment.

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?

-Sword and sheild. I'm a sucker for heavy blood and gore.

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?

-Not only would I keep it, I would probably buy something else and hope the daft old bag would give me a 50 next time around.

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?

-I would except it and tell everyone anyways.

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?

-Ermmmm I dunno....

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?

-Children's hospital.

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?

5 favourite Queen cd's, 2 Pink Floyd cd's, 2 Led Zep cd's and walkman; cell phone; collapsable guitar.

12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?
A. Performing a rock concert in front of a sell out crowd at Wembley Stadium.
B. Scoring the winning goal in a World Cup Final
C. Accepting an Oscar at the Academy Awards.

-Definately A!

13. If you knew that Osama Bin Laden was hiding in the attic of a school i


Freddie about Roger 'Trouser Snake' Taylor:

"A nice guy, but dont ever let him show you his home videos...the dirty little sod."
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Posted: 31 May 04, 18:18 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as

Don Corleone. I need a decent suit

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?

On the condition that no photography or videtaping is allowed. You know, to prevent future blackmailing

3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?

A brief history of time by Stephen Hawking. After five years I'd probably begin to understand it and thus fell like a right smartypants.

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?

No.

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?

No. I think everyone would have heard it all before.

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?

Net and trident, and hope my opponent uses Kevin Keegan like tactics.

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?

No.

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?

Yes.

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?

Whip em off. They shan't be missed anyway

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?

Local children's hospital

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?

Three full Ipods, one pair of glasses and some sort of portable stove

12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?
A. Performing a rock concert in front of a sell out crowd at Wembley Stadium.
B. Scoring the winning goal in a World Cup Final
C. Accepting an Oscar at the Academy Awards.

A.

13. If you knew that Osama Bin Laden was hiding in the attic of a school in Afghanistan would you tell George Bush, knowing full well that he would bomb the school even if there were kids inside?

Absotively yes.

14. If public hangings were brought back would you watc


If you can't beat them with brains, beat them with bullshit
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Posted: 01 Jun 04, 00:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as?
>>something Victorian - justcause I'd love to wear one of them dresses!

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?
>>As long as you plied me with enough free alcohol beforehand, absolutely

3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?
>>Chocolat by Joanne Harris

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?
>>Nah - I'd feel a bit funny about it but let's face it, that had always been in his past, the only difference is now I know about it.

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?
>>Yep, the Sun or some shite would be bound to pay me big money for the story especially if I tell them I had sex with one of hte aliens too.

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?
>>The short sword and shield.

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?
>>No.

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?
>>Tough one...I'd accept it but I'd have to explain how I got the money somehow. And I know it would make my boyfriend laugh his socks off so I might have to tell him but swear him to secrecy.

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?
>>I'll go with the op thanks. 1 in 5 is still 20%.

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?
>>Gaahh...the children's hospital. But surely both these places should be equipped with sprinkler systems?

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?
>>Sunscreen
CD collection
Discman
Sleeping bag
Lots of underwear

12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?
A. Performing a rock concert in front of a sel


When life hands you lemons, add vodka.
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Posted: 05 Jun 04, 15:04 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. I'd go as Magenta from da rocky horror picture show!
2. Totally- dya know how many Queen CD's you can buy with that?
3. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
4. No- I'm sure he'd already feel pretty guilty!
5. No
6. Sword and shield!!! I'm a sucker for swords (a la Lord of The Rings!!!)
7. Yup (blush)
8. No- lots of $$$- anyway, with Jacko as a dad the kid would probably be better of as a puddle of goo on the sidewalk!
9. i'd go for the 1 in 5!
10. to fetch my dad! he played me my first queen song!!
11. CD player, Queen CD's (do they count as one?) batteries, sketch pad and pencils
12.A!!! alas my singing leaves a lot to be desired!!
13. nope
14. nope again- have you read a Tale of Two Cities?
15. he can do what he likes with the flag!
16. Wolfman!!
17. Freddie!!!!
18. No- coz if I lived I'd have to kill myself
19. Hey- live an let live
20. Long enough to type this out!!!


I've been told a million times of all the troubles in my way, but I grow a little wiser, little better every day...
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Posted: 06 Jun 04, 17:10 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. If you were invited to a fancy dress party and your outfit was being made by a top hollywood costumer, who/what would you go as?
JAMES BOND OUTFIT

2. If you were offered £10,000 to perform a strip-tease (this applies to men & women and it's the full monty) would you consider it?
OF COURSE

3. Your going to jail for 5 years and can take one book with you. You can't take omnibus editions or collected works so what single book could you stand to read over and over again for five years?
HMM, LOTR

4. Your next door neighbour is a kindly old gentleman of 85 years. He has lived next door to you all your life, he looked after you as a child when your mum and dad went out for the evening and told you fantastic stories about the olden days. He always gives you a card and a wee gift on your birthday and at Christmas. Now that he's getting on a bit you keep an eye on him and make sure he's ok and you enjoy visiting him for a cup of tea and a chat a couple of times a week.
Then one day he tells you that he was a Nazi during WW2 and was responsible for the death of thousands of jews in concentration camps. Would you tell anyone?
NOPE, HE'LL DIE AND HE WILL BE JUDGED

5. You're walking home from the pub one night when all of a sudden you find yourself bathed in blue light and you are being sucked up into a flying saucer. An anal probe later you are back on the sreet again. Would you tell anyone?
HMM, YES

6. If you were a gladiator in Roman times, what weapons would you choose. The short sword and sheild or the trident and net?
SHORT SWORD AND SHIELD

7. If you bought something in a charity shop and the daft old women behind the counter gave you an extra £10 in your change, would you keep it?
YES

8. You're taking a stroll one day when you hear a baby crying. The sound is coming from above and as you look up you see Michael Jackson dangling his baby from the window of a hotel. The baby slips and falls towards the ground. Luckily you catch the baby and it is unharmed. Michael comes downstairs, thanks you for saving his baby and offers you £1 million as a reward on the condition that you don't tell anyone. Would you accept it?
YES

9. You contract a rare disease of the genitals. If doctors remove your genitals they assure you that you will live. On the other hand you can opt for an operation that only has a 1 in 5 chance of success. What op do you go for?
OPERATION

10. You are the radio controller of a small fire station that only has one fire engine. You get a call saying that two fires have broken out on opposite ends of the town. One fire is at the local children's hospital. The other fire is at the local prison where your father is serving a one year sentence for tax fraud. Where do you send the fire engine?
CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL

11. You are going to be marooned on a remote desert island. There is a fresh water supply and food is not a problem but you are only allowed to take 5 things with you and they must fit into a small rucksack. What will you take?
A MAGAZINE, CD PLAYER, CD CASE, BATTERIES (LOTS)

12. Which of the following moments of glory would you prefer?
A. Performing a rock concert in front of a sell out crowd at Wembley Stadium.
B. Scoring the winning goal in a World Cup Final
C. Accepting an Oscar at the Academy Awards.
B

13. If you knew that Osama Bin Laden was hiding in the attic of a school in Afghanistan would you tell George Bush, knowing full well that he would bomb the school even if there were kids inside?
I WOULD TELL HIM

14. If public hangings were brought back would you watch one?
NO

15. You come across a man in the street wiping his shitty arse on your national flag. He's only five foot tall and a skinny wee bugger to boot. Would you admonish him and if so, how?
HMM, A BAT WOULD COME IN HANDY

16.Which of the following monsters scares you the most?
A. Dracula
B. The Wolfman
C. Frankenstein's Monster
D. Zombies
B

17.Which artist


Mejor yo me hecho una chela, y chance enchufo una chava, chambeando de chafirete, me sobra chupe y pachanga



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Posted: 07 Jun 04, 00:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

1. I always liked that yellow gown Kate Hudson wore in How To Lose A Guy In 10 days

2. probably

3. Playgirl

4. If he was sorry about it then i probably wouldn't.
5. Those closest to me

6. trident and net

7. yes

8. yes, then i'd tell people that he tried to bribe me

9. damn that sucks, i don't know

10. kids

11. Music/CDs, laptop (with wireless internet and plenty of battery life), pictures of family and friends, hygiene necessities, and a stapler

12. B. Scoring the winning goal in a World Cup Final


13. no

14. probably

15. pish, i could care less about the american flag these days but if i did i'd beat the shit out of him

16. D. Zombies

17.Which artist would you have liked to see at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert and what song would you have liked them to perform? Brand New, "Love Of My Life."

18. yes

19. With a swastika, fuck no. I'd slap the shit out of my son or daughter and tell them i raised them better than to date assholes like that

20. it'd take a while :-)




"I feel that when I'm old, I'll look at you & know the world was beautiful..."