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Under Pressure user not visiting Queenzone.com
Under Pressure
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Posted: 02 Sep 04, 01:37 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

For the past two classes, my psychology class has been focusing on "Interpersonal Relationships." A large portion of the lecture has been about how you need proximity to really like somebody, how you're more likely to have a good relationship with some one physically near to you, etc. Which is making me a bit depressed, seeing as I'm currently residing in Los Angeles, and my boyfriend is from Manchester.

Anyone here dealing with a long distance relationship? Had one that did or didn't work?


"I always knew I was a star. And now, the rest of the world seems to agree with me." - FM
Gunpowder Gelatine user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 02 Sep 04, 01:47 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

My last relationship couldn't make it two months without seeing each other, but that's probably because we're young and fickle. :) But I think if both people are completely committed to the relationship and to making it work, then it'll withstand.


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Posted: 02 Sep 04, 03:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Some years ago I had a girlfriend who was living quite far from me... Things worked for a pair of years but then we broke up: anyway, I don't think it was distance's fault. You know, it was obviously difficult to make our relationship really grow, because as soon as we met it was already time to leave, but I'm sure that things didn't work for a lot of other reasons... I would have been sad if I had thought that I could have done something more, but I have never complained that...

Anyway, I know a lot of people who managed to stay together in spite of troubles deriving from long distances between them... You have to believe in it and everything will work out fine...

:-)

Albyboy


And the light, turn then off my friend... And the ghosts... Well just let them in... Cause in the dark it's easier to see...
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Posted: 02 Sep 04, 12:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I don't know - I'm currently in a distance relationship, and have been for the past couple of months. I know there are pros and cons, just as there are with any other relationship, and it all depends on how interested the both of you are in making the effort to sustain it. I think that a lot of it deals with trust, too.

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Posted: 02 Sep 04, 13:05 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Are they talking about internet romances, or the common relationship where one has to go somewhere and leave the other one behind?

My cousin lives in Colombia and he started this internet romance with a girl from Argentina. Both got so much into each other that they decided to meet in person, so he spent all his savings on the trip to down south. A little ago they decided to break the relationship and remain friends because they both found it too hard to deal with the distance, but they are still considering meeting again when they have the chance and perhaps start a new love relationship. Only time will tell.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]
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Posted: 02 Sep 04, 13:05 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

amor de lejos es de pen....sarse

Long distance don't work imo


Mejor yo me hecho una chela, y chance enchufo una chava, chambeando de chafirete, me sobra chupe y pachanga



Tranzando de arriba a abajo, hay va la chilanga banda , chinchin si me la recuerdan
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Posted: 02 Sep 04, 15:00 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'm currently in a long-distance relationship, and I have been in it for two years. There's up and downs about it, but all in all I don't regret a thing. We met online, fell in love online and finally met in reality over a year ago. Since then we have met three times, and now it seems there will be no opportunity before next summer. It's difficult, but we have talked a lot about how to handle it and we are prepared to take "breaks" if necessary. Just to get a bit away from the whole online business and then get back to it when we feel able to. So far there has been no need for such a break.

I would like to point out some of the good things about long-distance relationships. If it is like mine, that you have daily contact through mail or chat programmes, it brings along some good things. You talk with each other a lot, being unable to do anything else but that. You share opinions, feelings, up and downs, and all the small things that almost no one knows about you - little habits and so on. You tell about your childhood, your family, your traditions - basically you've talked about everything when you reach the two-year anniversary. Sure, it eventually brings along a problem concerning finding subjects, but the plus-side is that you know your partner in a way no one else does or probably ever will. In a matter of two years I'm certain me and my boyfriend have reached a stage others don't reach before after several years of marriage (then again, we act as an old married couple as well!).

The interest also stays longer, assuming you meet regulary. After some months apart, you will have missed each other so much, and every meeting is like falling in love all over. Really quite lovely! The in-love feeling does of course die a bit in the online-part, but every meeting is a new "time of my life".

Ehm-ehm... I think that was all I had to say. Yeah.




If God intended us to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
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Posted: 02 Sep 04, 16:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

When I was in high school, I dated a guy for a year and half. We were very happy together. After graduation, he was going to attend college in California (we were in Ohio). He was interested in becoming a filmmaker. We were confident that we could keep the relationship going. For awhile it was not too bad. We called each other, and wrote each other letters. He came home at Christmas, and for a couple of weeks during the summer. This went on for about a year and half. I slowly realized I was growing more depressed and isolated; all my friends had boyfriends, and were going out and having fun, I was at home waiting. He was in a new place meeting new friends, having new experiences. It soon became apparent that we were growing apart, and we decided to end it. He ended up having his own film production company, and he never did marry.


-If you want the best seat in the house, you have to move the cat.





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Posted: 02 Sep 04, 19:10 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

hey Silje, it's good to hear you and Bogdan are still doing so well together. I hope you will stay very happy together.

Send him my regards


"On the first day Pim & Niek created a heavenly occupation. Pim & Niek blessed it and named it 'Loosch'."



(Genesis 1:1)
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Posted: 03 Sep 04, 11:50 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Thanks, Niek! :-D When I get time (in about two weeks or so when I return from Poland and conferences) I will try remember to get in touch with you. Been too long, and I still want that song by Alice Cooper which you'd recorded...lol! I think that was at the start of summer! Geez, I'm bad. You'll get a hug at least. ;-) *Gives Niek a BIG hug*




If God intended us to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
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Posted: 03 Sep 04, 11:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

~Silje~ wrote:

Thanks, Niek! :-D When I get time (in about two weeks or so when I return from Poland and conferences) I will try remember to get in touch with you. Been too long, and I still want that song by Alice Cooper which you'd recorded...lol! I think that was at the start of summer! Geez, I'm bad. You'll get a hug at least. ;-) *Gives Niek a BIG hug*


Bye Silje, I've already told you but, once more, enjoy yourself!!! I have just come back from my brief and I'm tasting the wonderful flavour of success... :-)))))

See you soon, take care and enjoy!!!!

Alberto


And the light, turn then off my friend... And the ghosts... Well just let them in... Cause in the dark it's easier to see...
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Posted: 03 Sep 04, 12:00 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

MexQueenFM wrote:

amor de lejos es de pen....sarse

Long distance don't work imo


Exactly! That's why my girlfriend lives a 20 minutes away from me :)


You've never seen nothing like it, no never in your life. Like going up to heaven and then coming back alive.





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Posted: 03 Sep 04, 12:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Thanks, Alberto! Got your mail, it was a nice read (as always). Will get back to you when I return. :-) *Hugs* to you as well.




If God intended us to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
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Posted: 03 Sep 04, 13:09 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

My long distance relation ship works... we'll have our 3 year anniversary next month...
And if i get into my first choice universities...it won't be long distance anymore ^_^


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Posted: 03 Sep 04, 13:45 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Honest answer? I'm not sure they do, but that's probably bitter personal experiences talking there! In some respects they are brilliant, you can share a lot via mail on or here but in reality there is a lot on wonder involved and you begin to become paranoid. I think I'm just a paranoid kind of person, a bit cynical.


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Posted: 03 Sep 04, 13:57 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Plengel wrote:

MexQueenFM wrote:

amor de lejos es de pen....sarse

Long distance don't work imo


Exactly! That's why my girlfriend lives a 20 minutes away from me :)


20 minutes? that's on the edge homie, but you are keeping it real

no more than 30 minutes IMO , that gives them time for lots of stuff to do


Mejor yo me hecho una chela, y chance enchufo una chava, chambeando de chafirete, me sobra chupe y pachanga



Tranzando de arriba a abajo, hay va la chilanga banda , chinchin si me la recuerdan
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Posted: 03 Sep 04, 15:03 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

RMT wrote:

Honest answer? I'm not sure they do, but that's probably bitter personal experiences talking there! In some respects they are brilliant, you can share a lot via mail on or here but in reality there is a lot on wonder involved and you begin to become paranoid. I think I'm just a paranoid kind of person, a bit cynical.


If you mean paranoid about whether or not your partner is cheating on you, that's of course a problem. Fortunately an obstacle which me and my partner got by long ago, based on trust and lots of honesty.




If God intended us to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
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Posted: 03 Sep 04, 17:32 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Im in one, kinda. My boyfriend lives on the other side of the county to me, even thou it isnt as far as some other peoples. But cos we both work, we meet twice a month. Thats once a fortnight. Its hard when we are so much in love, but i think thats what gets you throu it- if you have that strength.


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Posted: 04 Sep 04, 13:12 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I would say
your lucky to have a relationship
i've never had a bf
-Jeannette-


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Posted: 04 Sep 04, 14:45 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I have two friends who were in a relationship, and one of them had to move away. They kept it going for 6 months after that, but just broke it off very recently. I think it can work if you know that at some point you and your partner will for sure be together again, and I don't just mean for a visit, I mean really living near each other. The reason my friends broke up is cause they know they'll have to spend at least another 4 years apart, and that's just too much. But they're still friends, and I think all in all it was a good experience.
Distances do suck though. I met an awesome guy this summer, and we both like each other, but we didn't want to start anything because he's moving away to uni this year. :(


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