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iGSM user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 09:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

A neutron walks in to a bar and asks the bar keep 'How much is your finest beer'. The bar keep takes one look at him and says 'For you, no charge'' Hahahaha!


...this kettle is boiling over...

...one dump...one turd...two tits...John Deacon...

...one prawn...one shrimp...one clam...one chicken!
Penis - Vagina user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 09:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Did you hear about the plastic surgeon?

He melted in front of his fireplace.

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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 13:37 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I was sitting in my living room last night, the curtains were drawn but the rest of the furnature was real ;)


"I'm going up Buchanan Street

With a box of fireworks

And two bottles of

Tizer"

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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 16:19 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Okay. I'm done laughing.


Kay Adams Corleone- The ultimate desperate housewife
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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 16:20 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

What's pink & hairy and falls off of walls?

Humpty Cunt


Cleveland May 24 to June 4th 2007 - I came, I saw, I fucked off home again.
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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 17:03 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Uhm, maybe I really am a wee bit daft, but I don't get that last one...

Ja ne!

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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 17:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Ooh! I get it now! I had to reread it twice Haha... I love a good, dirty joke now and then- actually, all the time!


Kay Adams Corleone- The ultimate desperate housewife
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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 17:23 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Mickey Mouse goes to court to file for divorce from Minnie. After telling the judge why he wants to get divorced, the judge tells Mickey...
- I consider that insanity is not a good enough reason for you to file for divorce.

Then Mickey says:
- Insanity?? I didn't say she was insane... I SAID SHE WAS FUCKIN' GOOFY!


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]
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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 17:35 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I once read a whole book a dirty jokes in one day. Hehe. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET YOUR FIVE-YEAR-OLD WATCH "THE FULL MONTY"!!!


Kay Adams Corleone- The ultimate desperate housewife
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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 17:58 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I was thinking of posting that one! My friend told me that one a few weeks ago. She also told me this one (it's kinda stupid, but still funny).

How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How many?

6

Why?

It just DOES, OKAY??



Kay Adams Corleone- The ultimate desperate housewife
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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 18:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp who bought a wharehouse?


Cleveland May 24 to June 4th 2007 - I came, I saw, I fucked off home again.
Yogurt user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 20:03 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

ok i got one!!!!

there were two men sittin in a bar. their names were richard and mark.
mark saw richard looking into a box.
"whats in there richard?" mark asked.
"a 9 inch pianist playing a piano." mark said
"wow, how did you get that?"richard asked.
"i saw a genie in the forest and made a wish." mark answered.

richard wanted to make a wish also, so he went into the forest.
he waited for a couple of hours until he found the genie's lamp. he rubbed it and the genie popped out.
"you may have ONE wish" said the genie.
richard though about it and then said, "ok..i want a thousand bucks (money)"
"youre wish is my comand." said the genie.
infront of richard popped a thousand ducks.
"This isnt what i wished fore!" richard sceamed.
"i'm sorry, i'm a little deaf." said the genie.

richard went back to the bar and went to mark.
"The genie gave me a thousand ducks instead of bucks!" richard said with an angry voice.
mark turned to him and asked, "do you think i asked for a 9 inch pianist?"





I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool!

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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 20:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

sorry..i kinda got the names mixed up in the beggining of the joke


I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool!

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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 20:09 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

This has got to be one of my favorite topics so far.


Kay Adams Corleone- The ultimate desperate housewife
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Posted: 14 Sep 04, 21:55 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES."

By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.


Playful as a pussycat.
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Posted: 15 Sep 04, 17:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

A Blonde was leaving work after a long day only to find it had snowed quite a few inches during the day. She was very upset by this because she had just gotten her drivers license that summer and hadn't driven in snow yet.

Then she remembered what her father had told her to do in snowy conditions. "Just get behind a snow plough truck," he said, "and you won't have anything to worry about."

Sure enough, a truck came by. Relieved, she started to follow it. After about 20 mins. or so, the truck stopped and the driver came back and knocked on her window. "Ma'am, I noticed you've been following me for the last 20 minutes." "It's ok," she said to him. "My father told me to follow the plough truck whenever it snows so that I will be safe driving."

"Ok, ma'am," he replied back. "Just to let you know, when I'm done here, I'm going across the street to the Wal-Mart and do they're parking lot next!"


..got my mind on my money and my money on my mind....
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Posted: 15 Sep 04, 17:50 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

A man is mowing his garden. Next door, a blonde keeps coming in and out of her house, opening her mail box and sighing, then going back inside.
On the third time, the man shouts "why do you keep looking in your mail box?"
The blonde says "well, my computer keeps telling me i have mail, but i dont!"


melinadeacon@queenzone.com
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Posted: 15 Sep 04, 19:15 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

ok i got another one

this was on a website so dont think i made it up

please don't take this offencive..its only a joke

The priest in a small Irish village was very fond of the chickens kept in the hen house out in the back of the parish rectory. He had a cock rooster and about ten hens. One Saturday night the cock rooster was missing and the priest suspected that this was the time the cock fights occurred in the village. So he decided to do something about it at church the next morning.

At Mass, he asked the congregation, "Has anybody got a cock?" All the men stood up.

"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"

All the women stood up.

"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women and a quarter of the men stood up.

"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?"

All the altar boys stood up.


I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool!

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Posted: 15 Sep 04, 23:19 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

i have another one

gorge bush is in the mall when he sees moses..he calls moses many times and moses rudly turns his head and walks away.
after a while mr. bush goes up to moses and says..hey, ive been calling you. how come you dont turn or at least talk to me?

moses looks at him with an angry face and says...cuz last time i talked to a bush i was stuck in the dessert for 40 years!


I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool!