How can you tell a drummer's at the door?
The knocking speeds up.
How can you tell when a drummer's at the door?
He doesn't know when to come in
What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None: they have a machine to do that now.
What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?"
What's the first thing a bass player says when he knocks on your door?
Why don't bass players ever catch a cold?
Even a virus has some pride.
How do you get two guitar players to play in perfect unison?
What do you call two guitarists playing in unison?
What's the difference between a guitar player and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
How do you protect a valuable instrument?
Hide it in an accordion case.
What happens if you play country music backwards?
Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.
Why did John Deacon join Queen?
He wanted to hang out with musicians.
How do you get a rhythm guitarist to play softer?
Put some sheet music in front of him.
What's the range of the Red Special?
Depends on how far you throw it.
Special thanks to Arif Mardin who arranged and produced some hot and spacey horns on "Staying Power" ;-)