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Mrs.Taylor user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 02 Dec 04, 09:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

All given by drivers to the Northumbria Safety Camera Partnership, to try and avoid the £60 fine and 3 points on their licences!

I passed out after seeing UFOs.
A jet over-head, not me, triggered the camera.
I had a severe bout of diarrhoea.
A gust of wind pushed me over the limit.
I had to rush my dying hamster to the vet's.


Yes, it's me. I'm back.



I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on a disk somewhere
Sonia Doris user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 02 Dec 04, 09:53 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

lmao!!!!!!!
i must admit...people have imagination!!! heheh!


2+2=5
Mr.Jingles user not visiting Queenzone.com
Mr.Jingles
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Posted: 02 Dec 04, 09:55 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Reminds me of...

DUMB THINGS TO TELL A COP AFTER BEING PULLED OVER

- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

- Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

- Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!

- I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

- Bad cop! No donut!

- You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

- Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

- Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops

- Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

- Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?

- I pay your salary!

- So, uh, you on the take, or what?

- Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

- Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

- I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.

- What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

- Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

- Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

- Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?



[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]
Sonia Doris user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 02 Dec 04, 09:57 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


2+2=5
Mrs.Taylor user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 02 Dec 04, 10:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

LMAO! Excellent!


Yes, it's me. I'm back.



I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on a disk somewhere
Megamike The GREAT user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 02 Dec 04, 12:45 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Well of course I was speeding, my wife left me for a police officer 2 weeks ago, and I thought you were trying to give her back...


My Brothers and Sisters all hated me 'cause I was an only child...

-Weird Al (Generic Blues)



I gave up on books when 'To Kill A Mockingbird' gave me no useful advice on how to kill a mockingbird.
Mayboy user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Dec 04, 06:15 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

LOL!


"I'm going up Buchanan Street

With a box of fireworks

And two bottles of

Tizer"

Mean Mistreater user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Dec 04, 07:48 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

my mom once was pulled over for speeding and her REAL excuse was....I left a pot of pinto beans boilin' on the stove" and well they gave her a warning, and the house wasn't burnt down when she got home either.

Mean Mistreater user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Dec 04, 15:18 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

that reminds me of a joke from an old mad magazine I had....for those of you who read mad magazine it was from the lighter side jokes

Best thing to say to a cop if you are a woman:
officer "so where's the fire lady?"
woman "in your eyes officer!"

Worst thing to say to a cop if you're a man:
officer "so where's the fire buddy?"
man "in your eyes officer!"