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geeksandgeeks user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 15 Mar 05, 20:53 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'm not sure what the situation in the rest of your countries is, but here in the US of A, we have a massive federal budget deficit. As the wealthiest nation in the world, this should not be a problem. The problem is that whenever the government gets money, it does stupid things with it, like using it to create pointless new multi-million dollar departments or creating National Barking Spider Awareness Month.

I read this old Dave Barry column in which he asked his readers for suggestions on how to eliminate the deficit. He also wrote about some of their answers, and they were highly amusing. Here are some of my favorites:

1) Convert the deficit to electric current - the higher the deficit, the greater the voltage - and then run the current through our congresspersons. Specifically, through a certain part of our congresspersons' anatomy, which would also significantly dent the number of sex scandals.

2) Send the government all of the rolls of pennies in our closets. I like this suggestion. The pennies in my closet, by this point, are probably worth about $2,540.86 because NO ONE USES PENNIES.

3) Have a $10 million tax on movies with Roman numerals attatched to them. Rambo IV would cost Sylvester Stallone $40 mil.

4) Rent the Stealth bomber out for school dances.

5) A $50,000 tax on pretentious education-related letters attatched to names. For example, Robert H. Monotone, BA, MA, PhD, AsS would fork over $500,000 annually.

6) Mug Canada. (I don't really get this one, but it sounds good.

I thought this was a pretty cute idea. Any other ideas, anyone? Here are some of mine.

1) Threaten Congress with a Science Fair unless they do something about the deficit.
2) A $5 million tax on every artist who has ever covered the song "In the Year 2525." An additional $500 million tax on whoever wrote this song.
3) Eliminate federal prisons. Send our convicts to Borneo.


God wants you to send me some money.



"Seven spades doubled, vulnerable, making seven? You BITCH."
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Posted: 16 Mar 05, 06:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I thought the, mug Canada was funny. Not that I've got anything against Canada.

My own idea would be to impose a tax on people who wear tracksuits.

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Posted: 16 Mar 05, 11:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Maybe we could stop lending money to other countries until we get ourselves out of debt? I guess I was wrong but I always thought if you were negative in your bank account, you couldn't lend anyone else any cash?????

I'm not for that tax on educational suffixes!!! I'd be paying that tax!!! no no no!!!!


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Posted: 16 Mar 05, 11:47 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Plain and simple...

Spend less money waging wars in other countries and take care of important issues that will benefit Americans directly.

Remember that every single penny spent on military budget is a penny that you're taking away from the people. Sometimes spending it is necessary, but it seems like there's always morons who think that the "honor" of having the strongest army in the world is far more important than improving the life standards of our people by giving them education, health, and many other social benefits.

After all the same idiots who constantly wage for wars and take pride on kicking ass, are the same pussies who can't even carry an AK-47 because it's too heavy for them, and are too damn afraid to go on the battlefield and fight the wars they started.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]
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Posted: 16 Mar 05, 12:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Ohhhh come on now!!

I think America likes to have the philosophy of survival of the fittest. It works for some, but doesn't for others.


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Posted: 16 Mar 05, 13:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Lisser wrote:

Ohhhh come on now!!

I think America likes to have the philosophy of survival of the fittest. It works for some, but doesn't for others.


Seems like it's become our philosophy to think it's important to bomb the shit out of every single third world country out there. More particularly to kill every single poor kid who in the future could become a potential terrorist. After all if our own government puts the lives of our troops in danger to protect the financial interests of corporations like Halliburton, then how could they possibly care about harming innocent foreign citizens.

Perhaps they should allow more corporations to establish their factories on poor countries and hire people to enslav... err, I mean make them work 14 hours a day for 10 cents, so people like Paris Hilton can spend tons of money on wearing something coming from a sweat shop that looks almost like a concentration camp.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]
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Posted: 16 Mar 05, 14:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Mr.Jingles79 wrote:


Spend less money waging wars in other countries and take care of important issues that will benefit Americans directly.


Then I suppose you believe World War II was not important, either?

Remember that every single penny spent on military budget is a penny that you're taking away from the people. Sometimes spending it is necessary, but it seems like there's always morons who think that the "honor" of having the strongest army in the world is far more important than improving the life standards of our people by giving them education, health, and many other social benefits.


What about simple human rights benefits for citizens of other countries (i.e. Iraq)? I was watching CNN (the global hotel edition) today, and there was a man on there named Hassan Mnienmehn (sp?) who was talking about the reason why Iraq will take so long to rebuild... The reason is because, under Saddam Hussein, the state became something to control individuals, not to serve them. Do you believe America should be isolationist?

Also, may I ask, did you support the Kosovo War?

After all the same idiots who constantly wage for wars and take pride on kicking ass, are the same pussies who can't even carry an AK-47 because it's too heavy for them, and are too damn afraid to go on the battlefield and fight the wars they started.


I think it is extremely unfair of you to generalize and say that everyone who is for war is too scared to fight the war themselves. There are many men fighting and dying, and have fought and died throughout history, because they believed in liberty and justice for all. (and not just liberty and justice for Americans.)


"Brian May, Freddie will."
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Posted: 16 Mar 05, 14:04 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Mr.Jingles79 wrote:



Seems like it's become our philosophy to think it's important to bomb the shit out of every single third world country out there.


Yes, that's why we're liberating Iraq. Because we want all the Iraqis to die. That's why we're helping them set up a democracy. Yep.

More particularly to kill every single poor kid who in the future could become a potential terrorist. After all if our own government puts the lives of our troops in danger to protect the financial interests of corporations like Halliburton, then how could they possibly care about harming innocent foreign citizens.


Hello!! What about Saddam's harming innocent citizens?

Perhaps they should allow more corporations to establish their factories on poor countries and hire people to enslav... err, I mean make them work 14 hours a day for 10 cents, so people like Paris Hilton can spend tons of money on wearing something coming from a sweat shop that looks almost like a concentration camp.


And Paris Hilton is for George W. Bush?


"Brian May, Freddie will."
geeksandgeeks user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 16 Mar 05, 16:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Oh dear dear, this is not what I intended this topic to turn into. It was intended to be humorous. There is not a chance in hell that I am ACTUALLY sending the government my penny deposits.

Lisser: As long as they're not PRETENTIOUS education -related letters, meaning that you don't sign personal correspondence with them (yes, I actually know people who do this) :P

I would also like your opinions on converting the debt to nonpoisonous but hair-covered spiders which will be let loose in the Senate chambers.


God wants you to send me some money.



"Seven spades doubled, vulnerable, making seven? You BITCH."
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Posted: 16 Mar 05, 18:47 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

HMMM that sounds like an idea!!! Speaking of those nasty eight legged boogers that I hate and you adore....one ran across my hand today while I was typing a letter at work today!!!! I smashed it with a tissue. It was almost clear so I barely saw it scurry!! YUCK!!! It was fast as lightening too. I hate spiders!!! Have you been up to that bug store in what used to be Forest Fair Mall Mandy? You'd be in heaven there. BLEH!!!

I don't sign personal correspondence letters like that no...but I do have to sign work related letters and documents this way for legal purposes and bc I pay a hell of a lot of money to keep my licenses in two states!!!!!

I still hate spiders though!!

;)


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Posted: 16 Mar 05, 20:54 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

heh, I used to sign letters with imaginary suffixes. Up until that day I got a cease and desist letter of course.

I think maybe you sell all the Italians back to Italy. Or something like that. Or buy New Zealand as an investment property.


...this kettle is boiling over...

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Posted: 16 Mar 05, 21:42 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Lisser wrote:

HMMM that sounds like an idea!!! Speaking of those nasty eight legged boogers that I hate and you adore....one ran across my hand today while I was typing a letter at work today!!!! I smashed it with a tissue. It was almost clear so I barely saw it scurry!! YUCK!!! It was fast as lightening too. I hate spiders!!! Have you been up to that bug store in what used to be Forest Fair Mall Mandy? You'd be in heaven there. BLEH!!!

I don't sign personal correspondence letters like that no...but I do have to sign work related letters and documents this way for legal purposes and bc I pay a hell of a lot of money to keep my licenses in two states!!!!!

I still hate spiders though!!

;)


Yep, been to the bug store several times. Great place!

I know I'm probably not going to cure anyone's arachniphobia, but here's the thing about spiders: they are the sweetest creatures alive. They don't have a mean palp in their bodies. But they're very nervous little things, and they can sense fear. If you're dealing with any kind of widow, she's much more likely to bite if you're jumpy. Unfortunate, but true. I've had my share of spider bites and they're quite painful; I don't recommend them to anyone.

Except the Senate. Wolf spiders or Goliath bird-eaters would be my picks.


God wants you to send me some money.



"Seven spades doubled, vulnerable, making seven? You BITCH."
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Posted: 17 Mar 05, 04:03 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Apparently, don't know if this is true, but one of, if not the most venomous of the spider world is the daddy longlegs. We get loads of them in the summer, fortunately they don't have any fangs so they can't bite you.

Poor little spider, squish.

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Posted: 17 Mar 05, 05:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I thought they did have fangs but legs too long to bite you with?


...this kettle is boiling over...

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Posted: 17 Mar 05, 07:13 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Brimon wrote:

Apparently, don't know if this is true, but one of, if not the most venomous of the spider world is the daddy longlegs. We get loads of them in the summer, fortunately they don't have any fangs so they can't bite you.

Poor little spider, squish.


Are they really? They look so fragile.

The only good thing about spiders is that it's fun to kill those mofos.

I remember recently watching on TV how there are eco-tours through the Amazon to see Macaws, and as many of you know I love exotic birds.
However, I don't know if I'd be willing to go since there's the chance of also having an encounter with a bird-eating spider.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]
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Posted: 17 Mar 05, 11:18 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

geeksandgeeks wrote:

Oh dear dear, this is not what I intended this topic to turn into. It was intended to be humorous.


*hangs head* Sorry... :)


"Brian May, Freddie will."
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Posted: 17 Mar 05, 11:19 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Mr.Jingles79 wrote:


The only good thing about spiders is that it's fun to kill those mofos.


Hey! Spiders are cute and cuddly!




"Brian May, Freddie will."
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Posted: 17 Mar 05, 11:32 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

YUCK YUCK YUCK!! I hate em!! I have never seen a clear spider before yesterday when I squished that nasty thing. I guess that is why spiders are so fast around me bc I am terrified of them. If they are in an aquarium, fine but crawling across my desk??? NO NO NO!!! I wonder what kind of spider that thing was.

About the daddy long leggers, I heard that too. Something about if their mouths were bigger or something that their bite could kill you? I'm sure Mandy can clear this up for us.

Mandy I HATE those millipedes that are in that store too. I'd love to squoosh one of those on the bottom of my shoe!! Those hissing roaches they have in there with them...I remember back in the old days when I was at good ole NKU in my Biology lab we were "forced" to hold the hissing roaches. Then my lovely professor proceeded to tell us that the roaches have lice on them!!! If you look very closely at the hissing roaches you can see tiny tiny white things moving on them!!! I wanted to strangle my professor.


Wo ist das kamerahhhhhhhhhhh!!!



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Posted: 17 Mar 05, 11:52 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

millipedes...*shudder*


-If you want the best seat in the house, you have to move the cat.





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Posted: 17 Mar 05, 11:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

FreddiesGhettoTrench wrote:

Mr.Jingles79 wrote:


The only good thing about spiders is that it's fun to kill those mofos.


Hey! Spiders are cute and cuddly!


That's one thing that my girlfriend said to me, because she thinks that hairy animals have a tendency to be cute. Although she didn't actually mention them them to be cuddly. So I said how would she like to see a tarantula the size of a gizzly bear.

You guys should have seen the way how I rolled my eyes when she said that.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]