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Freddie-B user not visiting Queenzone.com
Freddie-B
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Posted: 19 Mar 05, 09:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I've just finished wrapping my mother's birthday present. The cat decided to help.

Here is my guide to wrapping a present with the cat.

Wrapping Presents with a Cat
1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present.

2. Go to closet and collect bag in which present is contained, and shut door.

3 .Open door and remove cat from closet.

4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper.

5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard.

6.Go to drawer, and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc.

7.Lay out presents and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed.

8.Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit and collect string.

9. Remove present from bag.

10. Remove cat from bag.

11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present.

12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size.

13.Try and smooth out paper, realize cat is underneath and remove cat.

14. Cut the paper to size, keeping the cutting line straight.

15. Throw away first sheet as cat chased the scissors, and tore the paper.

16. Cut second sheet of paper to size - by putting cat in the bag the present came in.

17. Place present on paper.

18. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present. Wonder why edges don't reach.
19. Realize cat is between present and paper. Remove cat.

20. Place object on paper, to hold in place while tearing transparent sticky tape.

21. Spend 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors.

22. Seal paper with sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible.

23. Look for roll of ribbon. Chase cat down hall in order to retrieve ribbon.

24. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn.

25. Re-roll ribbon and remove paper, which is now torn due to cat's enthusiastic ribbon chase.

26. Repeat steps 13-20 until you reach last sheet of paper.

27. Decide to skip steps 13-17 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that is the right size for sheet of paper.

28. Put present in box, and tie down with string.

29. Remove string, open box and remove cat.

30. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for locked room.

31. Once inside lockable room, lock door and start to relay out paper and materials.

32. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close and relock.

32. Repeat previous step as often as is necessary (until you can hear cat from outside door)

33. Lay out last sheet of paper. (This will be difficult in the small area of the toilet, but do your best)

34. Discover cat has already torn paper. Unlock door go out and hunt through various cupboards, looking for sheet of last year's paper. Remember that you haven't got any left because cat helped with this last year as well.

35. Return to lockable room, lock door, and sit on toilet and try to make torn sheet of paper look presentable.

36. Seal box, wrap with paper and repair by very carefully sealing with sticky tape. Tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst areas.

37. Label. Sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulate yourself on completing a difficult job.

38.Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat.

39. Spend 15 minutes looking for cat until coming to obvious conclusion.

40. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat.

41. Go to store and buy a gift bag


Ander Vørschört user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 19 Mar 05, 10:52 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

A question on my mind. Why do you bother with that cat? He (or she) seems like he (or she) can't stay in one place. But the whole thing seems cute! :-)


That time will come, one day you'll see, when we can all be friends.
Ander Vørschört user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 19 Mar 05, 10:52 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Forever88 wrote:

A question on my mind. Why do you bother with that cat? He (or she) seems like he (or she) can't stay in one place. But the whole thing seems cute! :-)


Whoops, double post!


That time will come, one day you'll see, when we can all be friends.
Queenleaf user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 19 Mar 05, 11:39 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

lololol that's soo cute!!!


Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

-Sir Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist
Brimon user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 19 Mar 05, 13:59 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

That was very funny, and so true.

dragonzflame user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 19 Mar 05, 17:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sounds about right that. Damn cat!


When life hands you lemons, add vodka.
inu-liger user not visiting Queenzone.com
inu-liger
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Posted: 19 Mar 05, 18:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Did this really happen?

Freddie-B user not visiting Queenzone.com
Freddie-B
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Posted: 26 Mar 05, 11:16 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Yup!

Except the toilet bit, I just used creative licence for that one.

*3*Playful as a pussycat user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 26 Mar 05, 11:27 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

ROTFL!!!!! That was hilarious and it really made my day! ^.^


Freddie Mercury is my sexi moon lobster



"Mis francais est la meme que before. C'est un peu crap"-Brian May

"I'm just a musical prostitute, my dear!" -Freddie Mercury
bassist08 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 27 Mar 05, 19:55 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

That sounds exactly like our cat. He's the spawn of satan. The cat just isn't sane.


"The most important thing, darling, is to live a fabulous life. As long as it's fabulous, I don't care how long it is." -FM



Erin user not visiting Queenzone.com
Erin
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Posted: 28 Mar 05, 08:59 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sounds just like my cats, too..;-)

Pluto user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 28 Mar 05, 11:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Sounds like one of my cats who has a sick love of string and wet hair.


I’ll kick and scream or kneel and bleed

I’ll fight like hell to hide that I’m giving up

-Bright Eyes

Another Travelin' Song