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bigc user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 12:50 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

admittely I spend most of my time either in denial over it or just down so I dont think about it, but I have/do suffer from depression, I was diagnosed with it in december2003 and did my best to overcome it, however alot of negative things happened to me at the end of 2004 and I relapsed into it, something I have done again now. It has always been my secret, save a few people, but now I'm tired of pretending I feel fine and happy when I'm obviously not. I think its time to admit to my friends I have depression, I just dunno if its the right thing to do or not.its very important to me so meh, your thoughts?

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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 14:06 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I know just how you feel, It is the story of my life. I'd say "Don't worry, It'll get better!" or "Just think positive thoughts, And you'll be fine!", But I know that's bullshit to be quite frank. People seem to think that this is the kind of depression that you can just 'get over' with time, but it isn't. For those who don't know, We aren't talking mere sadness here. Everybody gets sad sometimes. We are talking about an actual chemical imbalance in the brain. Some cases are more extreme than others, of course. I've had it all my life. Through my entire childhood, I knew I was different than the other kids. I'd see them smiling, laughing, and playing and I'd wonder "Why can't I be like that?". As a result, I lost quite a few 'friends'. When I hit 10, I had more and more frequent bouts, And less and less people to talk to. Then, When I got into the seventh grade a few years later, I finally got some help. As it so happened, One of my teachers was a child psychiatrist. He called my parents and told them what he thought was wrong and I was then sent to a doctor. Some people never find out for sure, And thus NEVER get help. Though, Even with help, It's still quite a difficult fight, As anti-depressants only lessen these feelings. As I said, I myself have lost a number of so called 'friends' because I told them about it. They decided that It meant that I was just crazy. But, My REAL friends stuck by me and didn't judge me. I'm sorry to make such a long post about this. The only other thing I have to say is, You should let them know. If they are your real friends, They won't desert you. You never know, Maybe one of them is going through the same thing, And you will have a friend through the fight.


"Elton John and I became really good friends. I don't mean 'good friends' in that sense. I just mean we slept together." -Billy Joel
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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 14:24 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I am depressed for the last few years.

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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 14:27 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"don't see a problem with telling your friends that you have depression. If anything, it may allow them to help you in times of need (if there's ever the need)."

agreed Amanda! REAL friends will stick by u and as Dan said some of them may be going through the same experiences and u can both talk about it. You need friends around u at this time, best of luck


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Lisser user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 14:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

In my opinion, if you are in doubt about telling a certain friend or person about your condition, don't tell them. Depression still very much has a stigma attached to it. While this is not your fault, it is reality. It could set you back even further if you are betrayed or abandonded by a "good" friend who chooses not to be there for you bc you suffer from depression.

You should not feel obligated to tell your friends, family, or anyone about your condition unless your condition could cause you to harm others or yourself. Do what is right by yourself, get the treatment that you deserve, and have a pleasurable life. You have a right to be happy. Most people are under the assumption that thinking of yourself before others is a selfish thing to do. You must think of yourself before you can be in any position to think about the well being or happiness of others.

In short, you are not obligated to disclose the condition that you suffer from to anyone unless the condition you have could cause harm to yourself or others. If you feel like the condition you suffer from could cause you to harm yourself then it would be a good idea to tell one or two trusted people that you can go to in a crisis state.

Get the treatment you deserve to have. The treatment that is suitable for you can only be determined by you and your doctor. Take an active role in your treatment. There is no text book way to treat depression. Everyone is different. Discuss things with your doctor and take it from there.

Good luck and I think you can already tell we are all here for you.

:)


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bigc user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 14:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I just think,rather it out in the open.if people reject me,then they reject me, its perfect inspiration to fire me up against their ignorance and hypocrisy and get better.



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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 14:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I just think,rather it out in the open.if people reject me,then they reject me, its perfect inspiration to fire me up against their ignorance and hypocrisy and get better.



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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 14:53 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

That is another way to look at it if you are capable of doing that consistently. The key word is consistency. I think you will find that your moods will fluctuate. One week you might feel strong. Other days you won't see any purpose. Maybe try and keep a journal to see if this is happening at the same time intervals. Can I ask if you are a male or a female?


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bigc user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 15:39 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

lisser im a guy.

makes it worse...girls have closer friends...lol, they bitch about them,but they support/help each other.

I cant imagine telling my friends I have depression. They are so used to me as an OTT jokey type person, with cheesy one-liners and wisecracks, its almost like I cant say it cos its just, I dunno,not me?

but it is, and therein lies the problem



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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 15:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

If it makes you feel better, you aren't alone! I haven't been formally diagnosed, but it's one of those things you know you have, not like cancer, which can go unnoticed for a long time.


That time will come, one day you'll see, when we can all be friends.
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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 16:05 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

for the first 4 or so months, I never thought it was depression. It wasnt until about 5months in I began to think that.

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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 16:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I mean that you know something is wrong, you just don't feel right, all though yes it comes on slowly with some people.


That time will come, one day you'll see, when we can all be friends.
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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 16:12 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

yup I used to get these weird headaches,then feel down afterwards, or get triggered to feel down at the smallest things.

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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 17:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

You should feel no obligation to reveal anything to your friends. Take comfort in telling a close family member or another person you know will not pass judgement on you. Start off slow in revealing if you fear negative responses.

Don't feel guilty for not telling anyone. Would you tell everyone right away if you had a wart? Probably not. Just wait until you are comfortable talking about it and revealing it. Get with your doctor first, a doctor you trust.

:)


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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 17:19 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

i want to be open. I lied for the best part of 2 years

its time for honesty whether they take it or not

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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 17:31 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Ok sounds like you are ready. Good luck!!

:)


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bigc user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 17:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

its just putting into words which is the tricky part;)

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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 17:57 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I know what its like BigC - I've suffered depression myself, have family and friends who have also had it. And yes, its difficult to know who to tell about it as you are afraid people will think you are "crazy" - most people aren't really aware what causes depression. Like when you tell them you have it they say "Oh you seem to be so happy all the time!"

If I may give some advice to help you - firstly find yourself some good treating physicians to help you. When I was initially diagnosed, I was landed with both a GP and psychiatrist who had the attitude "take two pills and see you never". Medication alone is NOT going to fix the problem - DO NOT let anyone convince you of that. Be careful if you are prescribed any medication for your condition - search on the web what the side effects are - the first lot of medication I got was addictive, and I would never have taken it had I known and I did ask the doctor but he said it wasn't. The second lot of medication I was on was a Seratonin Re-uptake Inhibitor (SRI) and whilst they can help, if you are on them for a long space of time, say 12 months or so, they can cause problems with your nerve endings - I ended up with an occasional facial tick as the result of it.

Get yourself a good therapist - I know there may be a groan there as there is a stigma attached - but it took me 3 goes to finally find a psychiatrist who had the right attitude and who really helped me work through it - he actually said to me that therapy was like a broom sweeping out all the dirt that had happened in my life. And you really need a third person professional to help you sort through the crap and get your life on track.

Do some research for alternative therapies - look through your local library, book stores or the net for what sort of treatments there are for depression - I found out that a lack of vitamin B actually effects the seratonin levels so I take that every day and it works. Also, St Johns Wort is a natural alternative to treating depression instead of normal medication. Meditation also helps. EXERCISE!! I know its hard to motiviate yourself to do that even if your not depressed, but again exercise really does help.

Most of all Big C, have some belief in yourself that you can get through this. Don't feel ashamed or lesser a human being because you have this condition. Its a medical condition just like any other like asthma, diabetes or epilepsy - but its just not as obvious. Reach out when you need that support and don't be afraid of rejection. Sometimes, you may be surprised how understanding people can be. I hope this has helped you. If you need to talk to someone, I'm here for you!


"Everybody knows that rock attained perfection in 1974-its a scientific fact" Homer Simpson
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Posted: 30 Mar 05, 23:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I have bipolar disorder aka manic depression for over 16 years. I have not had problems for over 15 years since being hspitalized 3 times between January to June 1989. I am still on Lithium and Prozac (a seritonin uptake inhibitor). Psychiatric counseling helped me for the first few years after 1989. I no longer see a psychiatrist, but instead am taken care of by my general physician (for the last 3 years?).

I urge you to seek counseling and to consider medication.


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Posted: 31 Mar 05, 06:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

i was diagnosed about 4 years ago, mine is a panic kind of disorder as well as the "feeling low" state of mind, i was prescribed citalopram (ssri) and over time they keep me ok (so far) also weve just had the winter here in the uk and it always feels like i just "stumble" thru it,it makes me mentally low, which of course the tablets help with. Anyway my point being, theres no shame nowadays in feeling like this, (although you always feel a kind of "stigma" attached to it) and the percentage of people who feel depressed is qiute high, (just look at the posts in here) and we should all help each other.

martin


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