Forums > Queen - General Discussion > The Darker Side Of Freddie Mercury.

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-fatty- 2850 user not visiting Queenzone.com
-fatty- 2850
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Posted: 07 May 05, 15:19 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

After extensive research that I have discovered that Freddie wasn't the saint he claimed to be. Be warned that the following facts may alter your no doubt rose-tinted memory of Freddie and if you are happy living with the lies, you should read no further.

Freddie's acts of generousity were legendery. One day whilst walking through Hyde Park in London, he came across a young homeless man who asked if Freddie had any spare change. Of course Freddie never carried any cash on him but he rushed home to fetch his post office account book. He then withdrew £10,000 in small change (mostly 5 and 10 pence pieces) and took it back to the homeless man in Hyde Park with the aid of a wheelbarrow. He then dumped the 10 grand in change onto the pathway and siad mockingly "Get down on your knees you filthy urchin! Go on crawl on your belly for the pennies I simply cannot be bothered to keep around my massive 10 bedroomed mansion." He then turned his back on the now large group of vagrants and hobos who had ammased and walked away laughing and twirling his moustache between his thumb and forefinger.

Freddie like to steal things from hotels. When he died' his house contained 35 bathrobes, 113 ashtrays, 9783 bottles of shower gel and 2 trouser presses. It was later estimated that if wasn't for people like Freddie, hotel bills would be 28% cheaper.

Freddie may have been an awsome talent but he was never the most broad minded of individuals. Freddie was openly hetrophobic and felt he could never relax in the company of straight men.
"It's not that I have anything against them personally you understand. It's just the thought of guys standing around drinking beer and talking about football and sticking their willies into women's vagi.....Oh My God! I think I'm going to be sick!" said the flamboyant poof.
It is not known weather Freddie approved of his bandmates sexuality but Brian May gave an insight to their volatile relationship during an interview in 1976.
"Well if Freddie has a problem with straight guy's I geuss he can just kiss my wife's ass."

The phrase "killing with kindness" is particularly relevant in Freddie's case. Over a period of seven years, 54 cats died at Garden Lodge from excessive kindness. Many simply could not handle the cavier and goose pate and champagne that Freddie fed them each day and had liver failure. Other's were kept so clean that they had vitually no immune system and died from the slightest infection. One small white kitten named Spook burst into flames after pissing in a mink fur litter tray with an electric blanket at the base.

COMING SOON

John Deacon's brave battle against indegestion.



written_in_the_stars user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 May 05, 15:28 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

what point are you trying to reach here ?


yes it was plain to see, yes it was meant to be...
-fatty- 2850 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 07 May 05, 15:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

written_in_the_stars wrote:

what point are you trying to reach here ?


Yeah that's it. You walk around with your eyes closed. You can't handle the truth.

fatty.

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Posted: 07 May 05, 15:48 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Ok... here is another well kept secret

Did you ever wonder why Mary Austin had so many problems with the Kois... many of them died?

Well do you still believe in the fairytale that the final resting place of Freddies ashes is underneeth the "weeping cherry tree" at Garden Lodge as i.e. Jim wanted us all to believe?

-fatty- 2850 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 07 May 05, 15:57 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'ts funny that you should mention the death of the koi carp and Freddie's ashes in the same story. The real reason for the death of all those expensive fish is that Mary's eldest son mistakenly fed the ashes to the koi believing it to be fish food. The carp ate Freddie's ashes and contracted the same disease that killed Freddie.
Huh?...Huh? Think about it.

fatty.

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Posted: 07 May 05, 16:09 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

See you solved the riddle! :-))

Son of Bryans Permed Poodle user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 May 05, 16:20 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

By the way... fatty, do you have any information, if he (Mary´s eldest son) is still allowed to call him "Uncle Fred"? ;-)

Panza Pedraza - FER user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 May 05, 17:16 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Jajaa, that was good Fatty.


Cuidate, querete, ojito, ojete
written_in_the_stars user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 May 05, 21:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

fatty wrote:

written_in_the_stars wrote:

what point are you trying to reach here ?


Yeah that's it. You walk around with your eyes closed. You can't handle the truth.

fatty.


I'm keeping my first question. What is actually your point ?


yes it was plain to see, yes it was meant to be...
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Posted: 07 May 05, 21:27 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Thanks for the information :)

Kind hard to believe what he stole from the hotels and stuff O_o


Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker.
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Posted: 08 May 05, 01:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Freddie may have been an awsome talent "

All of us,with a few exceptions like you perhaps,
have always known that.But your ignorance, as your
accusations is not totally unexpected, though
unwelcome(in my opinion at least).
After all ,it takes one to know one.A dolt
certainly cannot appreciate genius.In the eyes of
the blind, the world is certainly dark.

It is just to avoid such insensible trash, that
I wish these posts were moderated.Ideally, such
messages should not be allowed to be posted,let
alone be archived, or even searched.


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Posted: 08 May 05, 02:53 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hey Fatty! Thanks for the biggest laugh Ive had in ages on this forum! :)

YourValentine user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 08 May 05, 04:19 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Very cool, fatty! Heterophobia is such a taboo - it was time that someone brings it up. I am not surprised it was you, lol.


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Posted: 08 May 05, 04:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Haha what a bullshit...

Thanks for the laugh... (but please do not go on with topics like this)


Always look at the bright side of life....
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Posted: 08 May 05, 10:31 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I don't see how anyone could find offense at this, it's not offensive at all. It's also not very funny. It's rather boring.


"Your not funny, your not a good musician, theres a difference between being funny and being an idiot, you obviously being the latter" - Dave R Fuller
Carol! the Musical user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 08 May 05, 11:14 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Lol!! That was hilarious... You have a special talent for making people laugh. Continue writing these posts, Fatty, they´re great, asides from what some people say. Some people here at QueenZone take jokes a little too seriously...
I look forward to hearing about John´s brave battle against indegestion! :-P



-Things Have Changed For Me-
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Posted: 08 May 05, 12:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

For newer people who haven't been around for a long while: fatty has entertained us for years with his satirical stories about Queenzone/zoners and about the members of Queen themselves. Most all of us find fatty's posts to be quite enjoyable and very funny, and a nice break from the usual bickering, monontonous questions, etc. that is the usual Queenzone fare. Take all of it with a grain of salt, and don't be so serious!

:-)


-If you want the best seat in the house, you have to move the cat.





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Posted: 08 May 05, 14:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

lol

Live Killer user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 08 May 05, 15:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Thanks for the laf fatty!!
keep up the good work!

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Posted: 08 May 05, 18:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Yes, again, thank you. Your post was only slightly more entertaining than the numpties who took it so seriously. :-)


When life hands you lemons, add vodka.