Forums > Personal > Open Letter from Malcolm Glazer to man Utd fans

forum rss feed
Author

brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
brENsKi
Deity: 8088 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 17 May 05, 12:39 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

An open letter from Malcolm Glazer to Man Utd fans everywhere ;

Dear Soccer fans,

As you all know, i've been looking to buy the United's of Manchester for a
little while now. I've also heard that some of you may not be too happy
about me using, sorry, buying the club in order to reach new heights and
also, that I may not be a fan.

Well fear not, as i'm writing this personal letter to let you know that
i'm a genuine fan of you blue devils.

I began rooting for the United's back in 1992 when our little Malcolm JR
was practising those Soccer home runs out in the yard. I loved the way you
turned defence into offence, and the way that Bobby Shearer used to top
half it into the goal bag. Oh man, that play was hot. My son tells me that
you even out-zoned your City rivals Southampton in the 4th quarter of the
FA World series.

As for your current team, that Rude guy is awesome!!!! I see a profitable
future at the United, with the young talent of Cristiano Rooney (man, that
guy can dance!) and Peter Shilton giving us hope in defeating the evil
Russian tyranny which assaults the freedom of our beloved Soccer.

With the marketing potential of those Neville brothers and that Pearce
Dude leading the team, we can all look to acheiving our beliefs of a better
future. Especially when I add Alexei Lalas and Cobi Jones to the starting
15.

Now to you, the fans.

I've been to see the United's play once before, and the respect you pay
your team in silently admiring the play out on the pitch was overwhelming.
Because of this, i've just purchased a new £45 million mansion in the
Manchester to be close to you guys. And more good news is i'm planning to
add an extra 10,000 seats through corporate boxes so more genuine blue
devils can experience the play.

What's with the prawn sandwiches I had to eat when I was there? Well, Rest
assured, it'll be super size prawn baguettes when I take charge.

I can't wait to come over to the Manchester isles, as I love the country,
especially the beaches and the hot chicks.

I hope you can all see my vision of this future, with new shirt sponsors
(Dunkin Donuts) and new team name (The Manchester Gloom) i'm sure things
are looking bright.

Further good news for you guys is that i've just agreed a partnership deal
with McDonalds, who will help in promoting the Manchester brand. This will
involve re-naming the stadium to 'McTrafford' as well as an exciting launch
of Manchester Gloom plastic fan toys in every happy meal.

Cristiano Rooney will be the face of this campaign and during this, he
will be marketed globally as Roonald McDonald.

Take care dudes.


MG.



go deo na hÉireann
Haystacks Calhoun user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1550 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 17 May 05, 13:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Give Glazer a shot. He turned a perennial door mat, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, into NFL champions.

Get off his back and give the man a shot.


"Not a fan of the ladies, are you Trebek?"



Sean Connery
Penetration_Guru user not visiting Queenzone.com
Penetration_Guru
Deity: 11013 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 17 May 05, 13:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Right, but Utd were already a successful team, and Tampa have slipped straight back into obscurity, so how is that any kind of argument? It's not as if Tampa have repeated (or even three-peated as those Manchester Devils did back in 2001).

From what I understand, Tampa were a joke for years and he rescued them (by stitching up the mayor for a new stadium, increasing ticket prices), presumably with some of his own money, although I'd like to see proof.

This time, he has no money left and United (previously one of the most profitable sporting brands on the planet ALREADY) now needs to be squeezed further just to make the interest payments on it's brand new $1 Billion debt.

brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
brENsKi
Deity: 8088 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 17 May 05, 14:44 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Haystacks Calhoun wrote:

Give Glazer a shot. He turned a perennial door mat, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, into NFL champions.

Get off his back and give the man a shot.

it's a joke that is circulating the manURE newsgroups - i'm not a manURe fan - i merely pass this on for a laugh


go deo na hÉireann
brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
brENsKi
Deity: 8088 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 17 May 05, 14:45 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Penetration_Guru wrote:


This time, he has no money left and United (previously one of the most profitable sporting brands on the planet ALREADY) now needs to be squeezed further just to make the interest payments on it's brand new $1 Billion debt.


as a non-manURE fan - it kinda makes the day brighter, and brings a smile to the faces of real football fans


go deo na hÉireann
brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
brENsKi
Deity: 8088 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 17 May 05, 14:46 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<B><font color=#ff7f00>Brenski</B> wrote:

Penetration_Guru wrote:


This time, he has no money left and United (previously one of the most profitable sporting brands on the planet ALREADY) now needs to be squeezed further just to make the interest payments on it's brand new $1 Billion debt.


every cloud has a silver lining:
as a non-manURE fan - it kinda makes the day brighter, and brings a smile to the faces of real football fans



go deo na hÉireann
Penetration_Guru user not visiting Queenzone.com
Penetration_Guru
Deity: 11013 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 17 May 05, 15:10 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Ah, "real" football fans. and ManUre - very original. You missed out references to prawn sandwiches, Surrey, biased refs, "abandoning" the FA Cup, and the excuses of the manager for defeat.

All quality material from the Daily Mirror circa 5 years ago. Very little of it based on fact, and those that are apply equally to most other teams.

One question - what are you doing on Utd messageboards?

Only come to see United....


brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
brENsKi
Deity: 8088 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 17 May 05, 15:20 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Penetration_Guru wrote:

Ah, "real" football fans. and ManUre - very original. You missed out references to prawn sandwiches, Surrey, biased refs, "abandoning" the FA Cup, and the excuses of the manager for defeat.

All quality material from the Daily Mirror circa 5 years ago. Very little of it based on fact, and those that are apply equally to most other teams.

One question - what are you doing on Utd messageboards?

Only come to see United....


i wasn't - some of my best friends are manure fans - and guess what? they DON'T live in Manchester either - so i supplose they pass the initiation test


go deo na hÉireann
bigc user not visiting Queenzone.com

Bohemian: 353 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 17 May 05, 15:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Man Utd a team so great that since 2001

the combined talent of Forlan,Veron,Djemba-Djemba(so good they named him twice:P),Kleberson,Bellion, Smith,Saha(less failures but not good enough). cost in excess of 50million.

and what did you get from them?

sweet F.A



wstüssyb user not visiting Queenzone.com

Deity: 12371 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 17 May 05, 18:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Man UTD need Aimir =)


MY GOD spell it write.
Flashman user not visiting Queenzone.com
Flashman
Deity: 4523 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 18 May 05, 02:45 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Men in shorts.

Not my cup of tea at all.


FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.
Banquo user not visiting Queenzone.com
Banquo
Deity: 2636 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 18 May 05, 13:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Nice try Brenski but that 'letter' you 'wrote' was lifted wholesale from Friday's or Saturday's Daily Mirror. Which in turn borrows most of the phrasing from Four Four Two's guide to the 2002 World Cup for Americans.


Guess who's back?
brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
brENsKi
Deity: 8088 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 19 May 05, 15:58 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Banquo wrote:

Nice try Brenski but that 'letter' you 'wrote' was lifted wholesale from Friday's or Saturday's Daily Mirror. Which in turn borrows most of the phrasing from Four Four Two's guide to the 2002 World Cup for Americans.


you seriously need to learn to read - i already said "where" i got it from in the fifth post of this thread....and i don't like YOUR insinuation that i claim to have made it up....can't you read?

i acutally said:
it's a joke that is circulating the manURE newsgroups - i'm not a manURe fan - i merely pass this on for a laugh


now please feel free to tell me where i claim to have made it up myself


go deo na hÉireann
Penetration_Guru user not visiting Queenzone.com
Penetration_Guru
Deity: 11013 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 19 May 05, 16:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Quit being a tool.

If you can't spell Utd, admit it.

Fraz user not visiting Queenzone.com

Royalty: 1129 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 19 May 05, 16:46 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Glazer he knows nothin' except cash he has no love for the game like fans

brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
brENsKi
Deity: 8088 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 19 May 05, 17:03 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Fraz wrote:

Glazer he knows nothin' except cash he has no love for the game like fans



then he'll be perfectly at home in charge at ManURE won't he? - when the fuck have manure ever cared about football or fans?


go deo na hÉireann
Penetration_Guru user not visiting Queenzone.com
Penetration_Guru
Deity: 11013 posts
add to buddy list send PM

Posted: 19 May 05, 17:53 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Er, they play better football and entertain more people than...oooh, say Birmingham City, for example.

Birmingham City's honours list...

FA Cup losing finalists twice
League Cup winners 1960-something
League Cup losing finalists 2001
Leyland DAF Trophy winners 1991
Auto Windscreens Shield winners 1995
Fairs Cup losing finalists once
Second Division champions at some point in the 50s

Impressive stuff I think you'll agree.

Oh, and Villa self-destruct every time they play them.

Note I didn't call them Birmingham Shitty.