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Flashman user not visiting Queenzone.com
Flashman
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Posted: 28 May 05, 11:15 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'm always rattling something. I'm a bugger for it, and there's rarely less than a couple on the go at the same time. Variety is the spice of life, they reckon - and I think they've got it spot on. There's 3 billion women out there - that's a lot of unchartered territory. While I don't expect to explore 'em all, I intend to give it a bloody good go.

The latest of a long, long line of lucky ladies to sample the Flashman Vintage is a young mare with the hellish moniker of Tanya. If her last name was Hide, it'd at least be apt; as she likes a bit of rough and tumble, not that I'm a novice of the art.

She's as simple as slip-on shoes, an absolute clot - but with poonts like hers, she has her plus points. Besides, having previously studied the form with both her mother and older sister, it seemed rude not to complete the full set when the chance presented itself.

I've known her since she was no more than six or seven, back when I was tupping her mother every other weekend when her husband was working away. (At least, that's what he told her. I know for a fact the old coot was rogering some Scottish bint senseless at his country cottage. Whispers carry on the wind a little louder when you put it about as much as I do).

She's had a crush on me all through her teenage years, and I've always been on hand to offer advice or a friendly wink in a jovial favourite uncle type of way - biding my time until she ripens.

Well, she's a big girl now and I could hold it in no longer - and got her royally sloshed on her 18th birthday, before giving her the Flashman Lift into the rear garden and rogering her senseless amongst the tulips. Having been through half her family, I can attain that she's undoubtedly the mount of the three - her moans and wails informed the entire village that randy ol' Flash was back in the saddle, coasting down the final furlong and onto the Winner's Enclosure, a sure fire bet for Champion Jockey again this year.

Y'know, just thinking about her gives me strange pangs in the stomach - most unsettling. Could she truly be 'the one'?

Don't bet on it, dear Reader. I ain't fully recovered from a recent bout of jelly belly - it's most likely just wind.

Are you in love at the moment?



FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.
iGSM user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 28 May 05, 11:38 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

No.

wait.




Yes.


...this kettle is boiling over...

...one dump...one turd...two tits...John Deacon...

...one prawn...one shrimp...one clam...one chicken!
Whisperer user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 28 May 05, 12:15 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I am, desparately. The girl is one of my best friends. I've told her about my feelings and she still only wants to be friends. I feel terrible. Every time she smiles to another guy it feels like my heart is gonna break apart. We spend lots of time together, which doesn't make it easier for me at all. Still, I want to be with her all the time. Right now everything in my life seems pointless and not-important, except that one girl :-(


Not those are losers who fall, but those who don't stand up.
Janet user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 28 May 05, 13:13 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Yes! :-)


-If you want the best seat in the house, you have to move the cat.





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Posted: 28 May 05, 13:18 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I wasn't talking to you, I was saying "Yes I am in love at the moment" with my husband of 20 years.

;-)


-If you want the best seat in the house, you have to move the cat.





brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
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Posted: 28 May 05, 13:37 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

JohnMercury wrote:

No, sorry, not you Janet, i'm flattered, buti was proposing to CLTCM. Your second on my list though :-)


I don't think Flashie is in love tho'...take the chemicals out of this and you just have another great shag! - you can't be in love with someone you think "as simple as slip-ons"


go deo na hÉireann
brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 28 May 05, 13:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Janet wrote:

I wasn't talking to you, I was saying "Yes I am in love at the moment" with my husband of 20 years.

;-)



me too, and married 17 years!

Janet, I'd put mr mercury right if I were you...how did you only end up SECOND on his list? this guy has no taste ;-)


go deo na hÉireann
Bob The Shrek user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 28 May 05, 13:47 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Holy Shit Janet - Dan better watch his back, there's a new kid on the block LMAO.


Cleveland May 24 to June 4th 2007 - I came, I saw, I fucked off home again.
Janet user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 28 May 05, 13:48 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

LOL! ;-)


-If you want the best seat in the house, you have to move the cat.





brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 28 May 05, 14:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

JohnMercury wrote:

Why would i lie about my girlfriends name??


if you can lie about your own name, then your girlfriend's name should present no mendacity-related issues for you!


go deo na hÉireann
Flashman user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 29 May 05, 04:13 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Gad, there's more oddballs in this place now than at any time in its entire history.


FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.
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Posted: 29 May 05, 04:31 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Probably not.

But if it is - run!

Queenleaf user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 29 May 05, 10:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

*smiles and even occasionally laughs as she reads Flashy's post*

Yes I am in love. I plan to marry him someday too. And no I'm not talking about Mr. Tampon Tea I'm talking about my boyfriend.


Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

-Sir Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist
Flashman user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 29 May 05, 12:50 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Bah, and here's ol' Flash hoping you were keeping 'em crossed for me, Queenleaf ;-)

Like I've said before, lass - he'd best think on and treat you right, or I'll be over there like a shot to give him a taste of the back of me hand.

You can tell him that too, unless he's a big bugger.


FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.
Flashman user not visiting Queenzone.com
Flashman
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Posted: 30 May 05, 05:46 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hmm... since those limpets have been deleted, half the replies to my thread have disappeared.

Either I'm not as popular as I thought (as if!), or maybe I just attract all the crackpots.

Or maybe they were all perfectly normal folk until they started reading my drivel.

Anyway, fuck 'em.


FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.
Queenleaf user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 31 May 05, 16:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Nope I definatly want to marry him for real sorry dear. Don't worry about your popularity. You're very popular around here and you have nothing to worry about. Why am I starting to give you a pep talk? You already have enough self confidence to float my boat in.


Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

-Sir Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist
Queen T user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 31 May 05, 21:57 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Flashman wrote:

I'm always rattling something. I'm a bugger for it, and there's rarely less than a couple on the go at the same time. Variety is the spice of life, they reckon - and I think they've got it spot on. There's 3 billion women out there - that's a lot of unchartered territory. While I don't expect to explore 'em all, I intend to give it a bloody good go.

The latest of a long, long line of lucky ladies to sample the Flashman Vintage is a young mare with the hellish moniker of Tanya. If her last name was Hide, it'd at least be apt; as she likes a bit of rough and tumble, not that I'm a novice of the art.

She's as simple as slip-on shoes, an absolute clot - but with poonts like hers, she has her plus points. Besides, having previously studied the form with both her mother and older sister, it seemed rude not to complete the full set when the chance presented itself.

I've known her since she was no more than six or seven, back when I was tupping her mother every other weekend when her husband was working away. (At least, that's what he told her. I know for a fact the old coot was rogering some Scottish bint senseless at his country cottage. Whispers carry on the wind a little louder when you put it about as much as I do).

She's had a crush on me all through her teenage years, and I've always been on hand to offer advice or a friendly wink in a jovial favourite uncle type of way - biding my time until she ripens.

Well, she's a big girl now and I could hold it in no longer - and got her royally sloshed on her 18th birthday, before giving her the Flashman Lift into the rear garden and rogering her senseless amongst the tulips. Having been through half her family, I can attain that she's undoubtedly the mount of the three - her moans and wails informed the entire village that randy ol' Flash was back in the saddle, coasting down the final furlong and onto the Winner's Enclosure, a sure fire bet for Champion Jockey again this year.

Y'know, just thinking about her gives me strange pangs in the stomach - most unsettling. Could she truly be 'the one'?

Don't bet on it, dear Reader. I ain't fully recovered from a recent bout of jelly belly - it's most likely just wind.

Are you in love at the moment?


How romantic and eloquent you are...NOT :P

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Posted: 31 May 05, 22:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Yep.

And for the record - I scanned down the list of names who have posted in this topic and nearly burst into tears. Oh, it's wonderful to see some of you again...


God wants you to send me some money.



"Seven spades doubled, vulnerable, making seven? You BITCH."
Flashman user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 01 Jun 05, 13:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

geeksandgeeks wrote:

Yep. And for the record - I scanned down the list of names who have posted in this topic and nearly burst into tears. Oh, it's wonderful to see some of you again...


Aye, trust ol' Flashy to bring some of the big guns out of the woodwork.


FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.
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Posted: 01 Jun 05, 13:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

*Double Post*


FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.