Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue.
Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing”.
Q. How do you know Michael Jackson is having a party?
A. There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his house.
Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off!
Q. What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
A. Michael Jackson has had more noses.
Q. When is it bed time at Michael Jackson’s house?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand!
Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
A. They both ride three year olds.
Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.
Q. Why does Michael Jackson disappear for a couple hours after one of his little
A. It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his dick.
Q. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A. I believe you’re in my son.
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is plastic and harmful to children, the other is used to carry groceries.
Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson decide to have a boy of his own?
A. Because it's too expensive to rent them at $2 million a pop!
Q: What's icky and in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand!
Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand!
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!
Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 44 year old meat between 10 year old buns!
Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson?
A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song!
Q: What's black on the inside, white on the outside, and comes in little cans?
A: Michael Jackson!
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor?
A. One got burnt doing Pepsi, the other got burnt doing coke.
Q: What was the foundation that Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor started?
A: The Ignited Negro College Fund!
Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson?
A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!!
Q. What does Michael Jackson reminisce about?
A. Blowing his first nose.
Q. Who is the greatest person ever?
A. Michael Jackson - he was born a poor black boy in Gary, Indiana and grew up
to become a rich white woman in Europe.
Q. What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?
A. "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black guy!"
Q. What did Lisa-Marie Presley say to Michael Jackson when he proposed?
A. "Yes, I'll marry you. But promise me one thing -- no kids!"
Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
A. About two dress sizes.
Q. What was Michael Jackson thinking on his wedding night?
A. "Now Lisa-Marie can give me a little boy of my own."
Q. What were Lisa-Marie's newlywed complaints about Michael Jackson?
A1. He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to dry out.
A2. That battle-axe Liz Taylor never calls before she comes over.
A3. She suspects he's using her to get to Elvis' bones.
A4. He touches her kids more than he touches her.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd join in.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q. How did Michael Jackson get in trouble?
A. He was feeling a little Randy.
Q. Why does Michael Jackson like children so much?
A. He knows how they feel.
Q. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Neverland Ranch from drug
A. You know, I feel like a new boy!
Q. How do we know
"Not a fan of the ladies, are you Trebek?"