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_amadeus_ user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 18 Jun 05, 13:59 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Here's a link to em' all -

http://www.goodquotes.com/funnythoughts.htm

Just put my 10 favorites below :D

Since the U.S. says United We Stand, does that offend legless people?

Did you know there is a page 666 in The Bible?

If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?







Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker.
wstüssyb user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 18 Jun 05, 14:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

A blind person can be in the back seat and take her/his money out, I have seen it before.


MY GOD spell it write.
doremi user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 18 Jun 05, 14:39 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

LMAO! LOL!


xyz
Mr.Jingles user not visiting Queenzone.com
Mr.Jingles
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Posted: 18 Jun 05, 18:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Why do people park on the driveway, but drive on parkway?


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]
_amadeus_ user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 18 Jun 05, 23:35 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

:)


Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker.
Bob The Shrek user not visiting Queenzone.com
Bob The Shrek
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Posted: 19 Jun 05, 03:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

How to use an ATM:

Procedures for MALE customers

1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Wind down your car window
3. Insert your card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt
6. Wind up window
7. Drive off

Procedures for FEMALE customers

1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Reverse the required distance to align car window with cash machine
3. Re-start the stalled engine
4. Wind down the window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to find card
6. Turn the radio down
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN number written on the inside back page
12. Enter PIN
13. Press "cancel", and re-enter correct PIN
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Check make-up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again, to locate purse and place cash inside
18. Place receipt in back of chequebook
19. Re-check make-up
20. Drive forward 2 metres
21. Reverse back to cash machine
22. Retrieve card
23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into slot provided
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
26. Release handbrake.



Cleveland May 24 to June 4th 2007 - I came, I saw, I fucked off home again.
The King Of Rhye user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 19 Jun 05, 05:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Some good ones there..........I actually know the real answer to at least one of those.....what does the K in KMart stand for? Kresge, the guy that started the company.....:P


I'll take you to the Seven Seas of Rhye
_amadeus_ user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 19 Jun 05, 10:01 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

The King Of Rhye wrote:

Some good ones there..........I actually know the real answer to at least one of those.....what does the K in KMart stand for? Kresge, the guy that started the company.....:P


Whats the Wal in Wal-Mart stand for? Walton, the guy who started it ;)

:D


Nobody is always a winner, and anybody who says he is, is either a liar or doesn't play poker.