Forums > Personal > Has anyone shagged an old lady?

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DudleyFufkin user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 14:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hi folks,
I was walking up my street the otherday minding my own business when an old woman came out of her house and asked me if I would remove a dead sparrow from her back door as she was too afraid to do it herself. I said "yeah, no probs" and she handed me a spade and I went around and threw the bird in the bin. She was ever so greatful and offered me in the house for a cup of tea and some custard creams. I said yes beacause i do like custard creams. Anyway, after I had polished them off, she kept touching my leg saying how greatful she was, then her hand moved up to my groin area. She then asked me for one more favour. A sexual favour. Now,this woman was at least 70 and living on her own, I saw it as my duty to perform a service for her, especially as she said I could have her dead husbands 78 beetle. A bit rusty, but the car was in good nick.


"your shit and you know you are".
Mr.Jingles user not visiting Queenzone.com
Mr.Jingles
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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 14:38 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

DudleyFufkin wrote:

Hi folks,
I was walking up my street the otherday minding my own business when an old woman came out of her house and asked me if I would remove a dead sparrow from her back door as she was too afraid to do it herself. I said "yeah, no probs" and she handed me a spade and I went around and threw the bird in the bin. She was ever so greatful and offered me in the house for a cup of tea and some custard creams. I said yes beacause i do like custard creams. Anyway, after I had polished them off, she kept touching my leg saying how greatful she was, then her hand moved up to my groin area. She then asked me for one more favour. A sexual favour. Now,this woman was at least 70 and living on her own, I saw it as my duty to perform a service for her, especially as she said I could have her dead husbands 78 beetle. A bit rusty, but the car was in good nick.


Seems like that's the only way possible for you could get laid.


[QUOTE][QUOTENAME]Brandon wrote: [/QUOTENAME]... and now the "best you can offer is Mr. Jingles? HA! He's... just pathetic.[/QUOTE]
Erin user not visiting Queenzone.com
Erin
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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 15:04 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Mr.Jingles wrote:

Seems like that's the only way possible for you could get laid.


Ouch.

Carol! the Musical user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 15:13 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

...........


-Things Have Changed For Me-
flash00. user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 16:25 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

lol what a guy!!
god i hate custard creams.
but..... for a vw beetle, i like the deal


oo la la
brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 16:42 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

she must've felt it she was doing her bit for 'care in the community' by shagging you....

still so long as she didn't mind losing all her street cred in one go eh?


go deo na h√Čireann
Yogurt user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 16:59 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Is she still alive?


I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool!

doremi user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 17:37 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<font color =#CC00FF>***Marial-B*** wrote:

Yogurt<br><font size=1>The Artist wrote:

Is she still alive?


I bet she died of an infection... in all her body


LMAO! That was her volunteer ''community service'' that elderly people do on behalf of the physically and mentally handicapped.

Oh I see Martin beat me to it!

<font color=green>Bren<font color=orange>ski wrote:

she must've felt it she was doing her bit for 'care in the community' by shagging you....

still so long as she didn't mind losing all her street cred in one go eh?



xyz
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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 17:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Barry © wrote:

Did she take her False teeth out?

uRGHH!!



Barry! UGH!!!!!

Did she take her Depends off?



xyz
Gecko user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 17:54 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

barry, i was wondering that same thing, nothing like a gum job every so often....lol


i am the topic stopper
KillerQueen840 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 18:55 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Barry © wrote:

http://img175.imageshack.us/img175/2891/vw4zl.jpg



LOL!!!!!! Nice!!


"The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy."

(Jim Rohn)
Erin user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 18:57 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/24589/

doremi user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 19:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Erin wrote:

http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/24589/


LOL Excellent! Like I said did she take her Depends whoops, ''I Crapped My Pants'' off!


xyz
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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 19:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Erin wrote:

http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/24589/


LOL Excellent! Like I said did she take her Depends, ''Oops I Crapped My Pants'' off!


xyz
Erin user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 19:15 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Imagine this pitcher of iced tea was a gallon of your feces..."

doremi user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 19:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Erin wrote:

"Imagine this pitcher of iced tea was a gallon of your feces..."


Erin, I'm er...bluah...about to...bluah...lose my...lunch...BLLUUAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


xyz
flash00. user not visiting Queenzone.com
flash00.
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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 19:45 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

that was sooooooo damn funny!!!!


oo la la
MexQueenFM user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 03 Aug 05, 20:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

you a hero dudley!

i would have never done what you did, can't get myself to do a young fatty, now imagine doing a 70-yr old skirt!


Mejor yo me hecho una chela, y chance enchufo una chava, chambeando de chafirete, me sobra chupe y pachanga



Tranzando de arriba a abajo, hay va la chilanga banda , chinchin si me la recuerdan
*3*Playful as a pussycat user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 04 Aug 05, 10:20 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

o_______________________O ................................................................


Freddie Mercury is my sexi moon lobster



"Mis francais est la meme que before. C'est un peu crap"-Brian May

"I'm just a musical prostitute, my dear!" -Freddie Mercury
MexQueenFM user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 04 Aug 05, 11:58 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

<font color =#CC00FF>***Marial-B*** wrote:

MexQueenFM wrote:

you a hero dudley!

i would have never done what you did, can't get myself to do a young fatty, now imagine doing a 70-yr old skirt!


Shame on you Mex, Shame on you...

Still, you have the girl on the photo, you would shag her :P


that one might be next on the evergrowing list of Mex's prospects , but we'll see :P


Mejor yo me hecho una chela, y chance enchufo una chava, chambeando de chafirete, me sobra chupe y pachanga



Tranzando de arriba a abajo, hay va la chilanga banda , chinchin si me la recuerdan