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Queenleaf user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 Oct 05, 14:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

It's been a long time so write away to your little hearts' content, people!

Sheila in Texas is smitten
With a man who did drum-ish hittin'
Yes, he is too old
And covered with mold
But he's sexy and cute as a kitten


Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

-Sir Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist
Haystacks Calhoun user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 Oct 05, 16:05 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote


There once was a man named Bob
He loved to show off his nob
He flashed it at Dave
And rubbed it on Jay
Who sucked it like corn on the cob



"Not a fan of the ladies, are you Trebek?"



Sean Connery
Haystacks Calhoun user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 Oct 05, 16:06 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

There was a young man from Iraq,
Who had holes down the side of his cock,
His boyfriend Umberto,
could play the concerto,
by Johannes Sebastian Bach.



"Not a fan of the ladies, are you Trebek?"



Sean Connery
quicksilver mercury user not visiting Queenzone.com

Champion: 96 posts
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Posted: 07 Oct 05, 17:24 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

There once was a shrek named Bob
who heard a permed poodle would sob
"There's no answer on the phone
or reply on Queenzone
Why do you think I'm a knob?"

Banquo user not visiting Queenzone.com
Banquo
Deity: 2636 posts
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Posted: 09 Oct 05, 09:12 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

A limerick to be sure
Should have five lines, no more
But if your're slick
You can get away with six
And it doesn't even have to rhyme.


Guess who's back?
..Aymz.. user not visiting Queenzone.com

Bohemian: 148 posts
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Posted: 09 Oct 05, 09:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

There was once a man from Swotham,
Who took off his balls to wash em,
His wife said Jack,
If you dont put them back
I'll stand on the buggers and squash em.


Lol my boyfriend told me that one.

Queenleaf user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 09 Oct 05, 15:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Banquo wrote:

A limerick to be sure
Should have five lines, no more
But if your're slick
You can get away with six
And it doesn't even have to rhyme.

Roses are red, violets are blue,
Most poems rhyme, but this don't.


Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

-Sir Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist
brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
brENsKi
Deity: 8088 posts
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Posted: 09 Oct 05, 17:05 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

the once was a 'zoner' called POODLE
who put all Queenzone in a mood(le)
he's an ignorant shit
and a bit of a tit
with a penis the size of a noodle






go deo na hÉireann
Flashman user not visiting Queenzone.com
Flashman
Deity: 4523 posts
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Posted: 10 Oct 05, 04:31 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

There is a great band name of Queen,
The finest rockers that have ever been seen,
There's Brian and Roger,
But who's the old codger?
A washed-up, leather trousered has-been.


FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.
Music Man user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 10 Oct 05, 04:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

SHOWALTER: Do you know any Irish limericks?

BLACK: I do, it goes like this:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose rod was so long that he could get ball deep in that
And he'd be all, like, in it, and she'd be like, "Oh baby, don't stop, don't stop! That's my spot, that's my spot! Oh, but be careful because I'm ovulating!"
And then he'd be like, "It's okay, baby, don't worry, because I use the rhythm method!"
And then he shot his junk.


Creativity can always cover for a lack of knowledge.
Ian R user not visiting Queenzone.com

Bohemian: 827 posts
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Posted: 10 Oct 05, 05:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

There was a young woman from Ealing,
Who had a peculiar feeling.
She had a great laugh,
Then jumped in the bath,
And pissed all over the ceiling.

Bob The Shrek user not visiting Queenzone.com
Bob The Shrek
Deity: 4014 posts
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Posted: 10 Oct 05, 06:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

There was an old man from Calcutta
Who was found lying dead in a gutter
The heat from the sun
Burned a hole in his bum
And melted his bollocks like butter.




Cleveland May 24 to June 4th 2007 - I came, I saw, I fucked off home again.
FriedChicken user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 10 Oct 05, 06:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

For the dutchies I made a Queen related limmerick:

Er was eens een zanger uit Londen
Werd door heel wat mannen verslonden
Men zei hem al steeds:
Van zaad krijg je Aids
Nu heeft hij dat zelf ondervonden


"On the first day Pim & Niek created a heavenly occupation. Pim & Niek blessed it and named it 'Loosch'."



(Genesis 1:1)
Bob The Shrek user not visiting Queenzone.com
Bob The Shrek
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Posted: 10 Oct 05, 06:36 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Once when at the Queen's for tea
She asked 'Do you burp when you pee?'
I replied (with some wit)
'Do you fart when you shit?'
And felt it was one up to me.


Cleveland May 24 to June 4th 2007 - I came, I saw, I fucked off home again.
Yogurt user not visiting Queenzone.com
Yogurt
Royalty: 1927 posts
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Posted: 10 Oct 05, 13:06 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

There once was a boy named Jesse,
who's room was always messy.
He picked up his room,
by using a broom,
Because he wanted his room to be Dressy.


I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool!

Yogurt user not visiting Queenzone.com
Yogurt
Royalty: 1927 posts
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Posted: 10 Oct 05, 13:11 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I once had a pet name Matt.
who was actually a real cat.
I was pretty sure,
that he had a lot of fur.
I'm just glad he wasn't a bat.


I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool!

brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
brENsKi
Deity: 8088 posts
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Posted: 10 Oct 05, 13:19 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

there was an old farmer called Tucker
whose hen was a persistent clucker
til one day he screamed HECK!!!
and wrung the bird's neck
then sighed - 'ah well, that stopped the fucker'


go deo na hÉireann
brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
brENsKi
Deity: 8088 posts
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Posted: 10 Oct 05, 13:25 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Tom Cruise when playing Ethan Hunt
Preferred to do his own stunt
til he fell on his arse
amid some broken glass
and exclaimed 'now i feel such a c*nt'


go deo na hÉireann
Bob The Shrek user not visiting Queenzone.com
Bob The Shrek
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Posted: 10 Oct 05, 13:27 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

From the depths of the crypt at St. Giles
Came a scream that echoed for miles.
Said the Vicar: "Good gracious!
Has Father Ignatius
Forgotten the poor Bishop has piles?"



Cleveland May 24 to June 4th 2007 - I came, I saw, I fucked off home again.
Queenleaf user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 10 Oct 05, 23:13 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Music Man wrote:

SHOWALTER: Do you know any Irish limericks?

BLACK: I do, it goes like this:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose rod was so long that he could get ball deep in that
And he'd be all, like, in it, and she'd be like, "Oh baby, don't stop, don't stop! That's my spot, that's my spot! Oh, but be careful because I'm ovulating!"
And then he'd be like, "It's okay, baby, don't worry, because I use the rhythm method!"
And then he shot his junk.

oh dear that's very clever!


Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands and all you can do is scratch it.

-Sir Thomas Beecham to a lady cellist