Forums > Personal > Don'tcha Feel sorry for people learning English.

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scallyuk user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 Nov 05, 11:47 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.


Some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22) I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind!
For example...If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.


English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted.

But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly,boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?


Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?


If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship
by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wiseguy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

If Dad is Pop, how's come Mom isn't Mop?


And remember...this was how it was taught in high school.


"amateurs practice till they get it right, professionals practice till they can't get it wrong"
its_a_hard_life user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 Nov 05, 12:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Couldnt be bothered to read all that but i get the point, im English and my first language is English so for others who arent English or cant speak it then i feel sorry.


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REST IN PEACE FREDDIE MERCURY!!
..Aymz.. user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 Nov 05, 12:06 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

? lol!

Music Man user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 Nov 05, 12:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

scallyuk wrote:

Some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:


23) You have an advantage over all the ESL's when English becomes the universal language of the world. That is, if it hasn't become so already.


Creativity can always cover for a lack of knowledge.
Yuri user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 Nov 05, 14:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

wow. maybe im lame but this made me crack up.


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yamaha user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 Nov 05, 14:11 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

And of all the words that start with the letter 'F', only one is known as the 'F-word'.

YourValentine user not visiting Queenzone.com
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YourValentine
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Posted: 07 Nov 05, 14:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Actually, it's not so hard for foreigners to learn that stuff. You have phemomenons like irregular verbs, different forms of conjugating, homonyms and homophones etc etc in all languages.


There are some spelling errors which are very typical for native speakers and I always wondered why it is so hard for English speaking people to spell them correctly:

there and their
whose and who's
believe, receive, perceive , deceive etc
realise and release

definitely, permanently (and not definately and perminently) and other words of Latin origin


and why in all the world do English people add apostrophies before a plural s ??

DVD's CD's boy's and girl's etc etc.



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Posted: 07 Nov 05, 16:47 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"and why in all the world do English people add apostrophies before a plural s ??

DVD's CD's boy's and girl's etc etc."

Germans do that as well and I really hate it when they do.

All the examples above cannot distract from the fact that English is one of the most logic and simple languages, which may be one reason why it's THE world language.


"I'm a great believer in actually NOT giving people what they want"

Brian May, 11 March 05
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Posted: 07 Nov 05, 16:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Why do we add the little "'" before...


Comprende muchacho.
The Real Wizard user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 07 Nov 05, 17:39 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

You drive on a parkway but you park on a driveway.

Awesome read. Every word of that first post was true!


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LiveAidQueen user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 Nov 05, 18:04 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

It's odd, I never notice these things...


Comprende muchacho.
Brandon user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 Nov 05, 18:32 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

YourValentine wrote:

Actually, it's not so hard for foreigners to learn that stuff. You have phemomenons like irregular verbs, different forms of conjugating, homonyms and homophones etc etc in all languages.


There are some spelling errors which are very typical for native speakers and I always wondered why it is so hard for English speaking people to spell them correctly:

there and their
whose and who's
believe, receive, perceive , deceive etc
realise and release

definitely, permanently (and not definately and perminently) and other words of Latin origin


and why in all the world do English people add apostrophies before a plural s ??

DVD's CD's boy's and girl's etc etc.


You're spot on, Valentine. I'm learning Korean and let me tell you... Sometimes I'm surprised by the multiple meanings some words carry.

As for your other question...
Well, there are people in every culture who misuse and misspell their native languages. Personally, I do not place apostrophes to denote numerous CDs but some do. It may be technically wrong but all any language is is a means of communication so as long as the point is successfully conveyed, I see no harm.