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Flashman user not visiting
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Posted: 16 Nov 05, 07:04 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Here's a selection of some of the lines I've used recently, along with the outcomes. Some failures, I admit - but still plodding towards that evasive 1000th career mount...

Was your father a farmer, because you've grown some big mellons there?
:Result - Slapped in face, so threw my drink over her. Cried for hours when I got home - it was a double cognac.

Would you be my love buffet so you can lay on the table and I can eat what I want?
:Result - Flashy didn't go hungry that night. I got a pizza on the way home.

Is that a ladder in your tights or just the stairway to Heaven?
:Result - reached the top rung, but fishy aroma made me lose my footing.

They should have called you Rose , because you're the flower of my heart !
:Result - Turned out to be a feller - I really shouldn't mix the grape and the grain.

Well here I am. What are your other two wishes?
:Result - Caught the clap. Should have stuck to rubbing my own lamp that night

How about lifting the restraining order?
:Result - Fined £250.

My life is the alphabet the only thing missing is U.
:Result - She was dyslexic. Her brother beat me up on the way home.

If you love me like you told me please be careful with my heart - you can take it, just don't break it, or my world will fall apart.
:Result - She didn't speak a word of English, so next day I reported her to the immigration authorities.

If a kiss was a raindrop I'd send you showers. If a hug was a second I'd send you hours. If a smile was water I'd send you a sea. If love was a person I'd send you me!
:Result - 1-0 to the master! If they show footage on 'Crimewatch' of someone's bare arse going like a bee's wing in the doorway of Morecambe's general Post Office, you can tell your pals you know the owner of those pert cheeks. And there was absolutely nothing indecent about my exposure.


Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.
Brian_Mays_Wig user not visiting
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Posted: 16 Nov 05, 07:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Funny that....I often rub my own lamp at night *sobs*

Great post.

Chom own mudder fukker.
FLASH_GORDON user not visiting

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Posted: 29 Nov 05, 05:25 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

the 2 that alays works for me BIG time is:

if u had 11 roses and looked in the mirror u would see the 12 most beatiful things in the world.

i have been living in this hell if u represent what heaven is then take me there.

this one always gets a slap

your father must be a retard because your special

To be immortal first you have to live a life that is Remember able