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carboengine user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 00:58 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

CHAPTER 1

"Goddamned mice," thought Stella as she stood shaking on the chair in her messy kitchen. SNAP! and then another SNAP! Two down, and how many to go?


Yes, it was a worthwhile experience.
Forever88 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 07:25 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

After bludgeoning all the mice to death with her blunt knife, she decided on cooking a fine stew. Plopping each mouse's mangled little body into her slow cooker, she set about collecting some vegetables.


Nonono, you don't understand, that is NOT why I have this gerbil!
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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 09:15 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

As she went out to the vegetable garden, she spotted a strange looking fellow, on his knees, burrowing feverishly in the turnips.

"Who are you, and what do you think you are doing?", cried Stella.




"Not a fan of the ladies, are you Trebek?"



Sean Connery
Freya is quietly judging you. user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 09:23 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

'oh i'm sorry' said the man, 'i was just looking for my bass guitar, my friends hid it you see, my name's John'

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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 10:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Stella returned to her house with her turnips. She looked into the slowcooker and checked on the status of the simmering mice. Grease was popping and bubbling everywhere, and Stella decided that she should take the mice off the burner. She mixed them with diced turnips and sat down to eat, listening to to slipknot and reading Uncut magazine. The doorbell rang and it was John again.


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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 10:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

oh sorry that was 5 sentences. :P


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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 11:47 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

".... 25 bean burritos. Oh, what is that other lovely smell?" said John.

"It is mouse-turnip stew from Peter Freestone's cookbook 'Cooking For A Legend,' " said Stella. "Would you like some?"


Yes, it was a worthwhile experience.
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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 12:25 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"I'm sorry, but turnips give me gas," John said.
"Oh, but you must have some! I can't eat it all by myself!" Stella said. "What's a little gas?"
"You don't know my farts," John said, "The air turns green and i kill every living thing around me......."



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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 15:39 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

She looked down to see instead of hands, he had several tropical fruits stuck on spoons...


Nonono, you don't understand, that is NOT why I have this gerbil!
Freya is quietly judging you. user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 15:48 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Just then there was another knock at the door, it was none other than ...

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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 18:37 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

he had a stroke and died there and then.


Nonono, you don't understand, that is NOT why I have this gerbil!
Smitty user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 21:03 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Then suddenly the Super Gecko came (da da-da-da) and set fire to Bryans Permed Pants. He dropped the torch, set flight and ran into...

Gunpowder Gelatine user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 23:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

a turkey, on the run so he wouldn't become Thanksgiving dinner. The turkey was accompanied by...


Resistance is futile. You are now an orb.

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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 23:45 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

...none other than Pikachu, who was also running, trying to desperately escape his contract from Nintendo.

The turkey said...

Music Man user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 27 Nov 05, 23:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Stella!"


Creativity can always cover for a lack of knowledge.
Haystacks Calhoun user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 28 Nov 05, 09:25 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

..Charles Baer, stark naked, peeling potatoes while speaking in tongues quite delicately to no one in particular.




"Not a fan of the ladies, are you Trebek?"



Sean Connery
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Posted: 28 Nov 05, 10:06 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Charles Baer began to open a can of peanut butter and spread it on his armpits.

"Boy oh boy!" announced a voice. It was Bill Clinton, and he was just coming back from a nice day of...


"Brian May, Freddie will."
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Posted: 28 Nov 05, 13:06 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Drinking tea at John Deacons tea party. John Deacon had decided to...

carboengine user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 28 Nov 05, 14:32 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

had just eaten mouse-turnip stew at Stella's home from a recipe Stella had found in Peter Freestone's new cookbook, Cooking For A Legend.

George Bush said, "Laura has that cookbook, too, but Stella did not read the title right. It is called Cooking For A Legend's Cats!

END OF CHAPTER 1

_________________________________



CHAPTER 2

Sandra was thrilled she got the job. She had always dreamed about driving the Oscar Mayer weinermobile across the country. She, however, did not reveal to her employer that ...


Yes, it was a worthwhile experience.
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Posted: 28 Nov 05, 16:23 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Suddenly, she realized that a huge...


"Brian May, Freddie will."