Forums > Personal > Flashman, I'm calling you out!

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Lester Burnham user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 05 Feb 06, 22:47 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

While perusing through the gargantuan Freddie Mercury box set just recently, I looked at the credits for The Great Pretender and happened to notice something intriguing in the credits for 'Foolin' Around'. Bear with me as I type this out:

2. Foolin' Around (Freddie Mercury)
Produced by Mack and Freddie Mercury.
Additional production and remix by Steve Brown for Sarm Productions with arrangement and instrumentation by Andrew FLASHMAN and Andrew King. Published by Queen Music Ltd. / EMI Music Pub. Ltd. / Watanabe Music Pub. (P) 1992 Original sound recording owned by Mighty Tape Ltd.

Now, I really could have stopped typing this after I made my point, but I digress.

You old cow! I had no idea you were involved in the remix of 'Foolin' Around'. Show yourself and explain your actions, how you came about to be involved in such a project, and exactly what nationality IS 'Flashman' anyway? Sounds Jewish, quite honestly.

Mr Mercury user not visiting Queenzone.com
Adam who?????
Mr Mercury
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Posted: 06 Feb 06, 06:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Old Flashy's talents dont just stop at that. He's had all his adventures written in books as well.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/202-0877180-2555042

What a talented guy!!!


"Normally i can't dance to save my life.

But as soon as I step in dog shit, I can moonwalk better than Michael Jackson."
Lester Burnham user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 06 Feb 06, 11:58 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

That link didn't work, but a quick search for "Flashman" brings up the following titles:

1. Flashman on the March ~ George MacDonald Fraser -- (Paperback - February 1, 2006)
Our Price: £3.99 Used & New from £3.96

2. Flashman and the Redskins ~ George MacDonald Fraser -- (Paperback - February 6, 2006)
Our Price: £3.99 Used & New from £3.99

3. Flashman at the Charge ~ George MacDonald Fraser -- (Paperback - February 6, 2006)
Our Price: £3.99 Used & New from £3.99

Seems like this George MacDonald guy is Flashman's official biographer.

Sir Archie Leach user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 06 Feb 06, 17:49 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hang on a minute. These books make Flashman out to be pushing 200 years old. I know he looks old but jeepers...

Lester Burnham user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 06 Feb 06, 18:00 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Mayhaps it's an ancestor of his?

Or it very well could be a cunning way of integrating fact and fiction - you know, kind of like "Ernest Goes To Camp" and "Ernest Saves Christmas", those kids of things: "Flashman Wins The War", "Flashman Gets The Dame", etc.

I knew Flashman was infamous, but certainly had no idea he was famous!

Flashman user not visiting Queenzone.com
Flashman
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Posted: 07 Feb 06, 14:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Lester, rest assured that this post concerning my good self has displeased me greatly.

Who I am, and from whence I came, is of no concern to you. What if one day I were to owe you money? Or, even likelier, shagged your bird? By giving out personal details such as my full identity or whereabouts, you would soon be on my tail screaming revenge.

Normally in these circumstances, I would simply box your ears, knock you bandy, paint your arse purple, and parade you down the High Street as a warning to others.

But I see you're a spectacles wearer, and I never hit a man with glasses. Or two legs, when I can help it. So, in your case, I have decided to hand out an even more severe punishment....

My records show that you hold a position of certain rank amongst the great Army of Flash. Your Flashman Grade has been decreased to Grade V with immediate effect. You can keep your position of Junior Assistant Deputy to the Assistant's Deputy. But you have been transferred to the Cannon Fodder Squadron. Watch your back.

This has not been an easy decision to make, and it is with real regret that I view this otherwise promising career curtailed in such fashion.

ANDREW Flashman, for fuck's sake? Christ, I've been called some names in my time - but that takes the fucking carrot, that does.


FLASHMAN STRIKES AGAIN!



Paul Rodgers is not the best thing since fried Fred.
Lester Burnham user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 07 Feb 06, 15:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Flashy, you misinterpret me! I still hold nothing but the utmost amount of respect (well, I suppose it fluctuates with however many bottles of wine I may have consumed) and honor (see previous note). I, for one, personally enjoyed the remix of 'Foolin' Around'. Thought it was some of your best work.

I realize that your privacy is of great importance to you. I once tried to phone you, but was met with a gruff voice telling me to "never call this number again". Just to prove that point, two roughs came to my humble abode and efficiently broke my phone and fingers. I have not been able to dial a phone since, as the memories of this instance are far too painful. Or, more likely, the twit of a doctor who set my bones did so improperly. Now all the local kids have taken to calling me 'Dr. Hook'.

Anyway, I digress. Your background, as colorful as it no doubt is, is none of my business. I thought long and hard over starting this thread, even losing several hours of sleep and a few meals in the process. However, I forged ahead, hoping to bring a wider audience to the realization that you, Dear Flashman, are no one-trick bounder! You have a talent. I suggest you nuture it.

Or, at the very least, change your name. I mean, Andrew? Honestly!