Im met by a lady who I have better hair than. She doesnt like that and tells me to cut it. I refuse and go home. Then, she sends someone to kill me and I run away, only to find a house full of midgets who are half retarded. However, they grow to like me and shelter me from my assailant. Unfortunatley, Im eventually killed by botulism via a poisoned apple. Then, the pretty boy necrophiliac delivers a big kiss to my corpulent corpse and carries me off to forever be his love slave.
In case you havent noticed, this was done 60 years ago by Walt Disney and called "Snow White"
so, lets take an objective look at other "children" stories
The little mermaid- amputation of tongue, suicide, impaling
Jack and the Beanstalk- Tresspassing, robbery, cannibalism, murder by fall from beanstalk
Hansel and Gretel- child abuse, child abandonment, destruction of property, imprisonment, starvation, attempted cannibalism, murder via oven
The Wizard Of Oz- decapitation, chopping off both arms and legs, kidnapping, imprisonment, attempted murder, death by falling house, contract killing, muder via melting
Sleeping Beauty- Rape, adultery, attempted cannibalism
Little Red Riding Hood- attemped double homicide by eating, murder by drowning
The Emperor's New Clothes- Full male nudity
wow, that should put a lot of asses in the seats