After what seems like an eternity in obscurity it seems as though 2006 is going to be John Deacon's year.
The former bass player of Queen has already signed up for a schedule of public appearances designed to make Peter Kay look like a hermit.
It all kicks off at 10pm on Saturday the 25th of February when Michael Parkinson will devote the entire first episode of his new series to Deaky. No doubt he will be plugging his autobiography and solo album which are both due for release on Monday the 6th of March.
At 9.00pm on Friday the 3rd of March, Channel 4 will be showing a special two hour documentary on John with interviews and behind the scenes footage of the recording of his new album. Later that same evening, there will be a one off live performance on the 'Jools Holland Show'.
John has been booked to appear on countless television and radio shows throughout March and April to promote his album, so look out for guest slots on 'Des & Mel', 'Richard & Judy', 'The Frank Skinner Show' and no doubt he will be forced to shout "Bogeys" and be covered in custard on 'Dick & Dom In Da Bungalow' at some point.
Plans are afoot for a one off live concert appearance at a secret destination in London towards the end of April. Details of the venue and how to apply for tickets will be on Capital Radio so listen out for that.
Filming of the John Deacon biopic starts in May and it seems as though Producer Steven Speilberg and director Peter Jackson have secured the services of John to act as a creative consultant. The Knebworth Park scenes alone are expected to require over 125,000 extras and a CGI Freddie Mercury.
In August John will be providing the voice of Homer Simpson's English cousin in a forthcoming episode of 'The Simpsons'.
On Saturday the 2nd of September, John will be re-uniting with Brian and Roger for the 'Freddie Mercury 60th Birthday Concert" in Hyde Park. Bands who have already agreed to take part include Pink Floyd, The Who, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Elvis Presley and S Club 7 are rumoured to be reforming for the special day.
On Tuesday the 5th of September John will be attending a special service at St Paul's Cathedral to commemorate what would have been Freddie's 60th birthday. Elton John has re-written the song he played at Princess Diana's funeral and will perform it as a tribute to his old friend, the late great Freddie Mercury.
In October, John will be taking part in a new Channel 4 reality show entitled 'Celelebrity Intensive Care Ward' in which a number of celebs are given potentially fatal illneses and forced to perform mundane tasks in order to recieve treatment.
Towards the end October, Rockstar Games will be releasing the new Grand Theft Auto game. 'GTA The Macclesfield Connection' will feature the voice of John as Mr Grimble the pie shop owner.
In November, John will release his second autobiography, a cook book and a su doku book in time for Christmas.
On Christmas Day, John will be delivering Channel 4s alternative Christmas message and on Boxing day John will be back on our screens presenting the new series of 'You've Been Framed'.
The John Deacon Movie is sceduled for release on December 31st and hopefully by that time, the great British public will be sick to the fucking back teeth of him and he can get back to living a life of seclusion once more.