Forums > Personal > Fatty, got to talk to you!

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Munchsack user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 08 Mar 06, 14:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote


Fatty, this is urgent, so let me say this while you are still here as your appearances seem to be few and far between these days. I need your help. Seeing as how you you are a published author and everything, could you help out a fellow fat Scottish writer and read the first two chapters of my novel? Once it's finished, and if you like it, and if it's not too much trouble, I would very much appreciate it if you could put in a good word for it with your publisher. Link in sig.
Thanks in advance,
Munchsack!
xxx


This can't end well.
-fatty- 2850 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 10 Mar 06, 17:54 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hello Munchbag.

I didn't realise you were fat and Scottish too. In fact there's a good chance you might be me and I just haven't figured it out yet.

I will have a look at your website but I can't make any promises with regards to getting your work published. The people I work for only deal in Scottish interest books and certainly not fiction.

fatty.


Erin user not visiting Queenzone.com
Erin
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Posted: 10 Mar 06, 18:32 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I think that Munchsack has the hots for fatty.

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Posted: 10 Mar 06, 18:55 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Yeah but her guide dog keeps growling at me.

fatty

The Fairy King user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 10 Mar 06, 18:56 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Munchshack is a post-op?


Killed by drones.
Taylor-Mayed user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 10 Mar 06, 19:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Here's my advice.

Write letters to every agent and publisher who seems even vaguely suitable. You can get their names and addresses from The Writers' and Artists' Yearbook. Your library will have a copy.

Never send synopses or sample chapters straight off. If they write back and say you should have you can then send them, "as requested", always sounds better. Plus it encourages them to actually get in touch with you with something more than another form letter.

Always include SAEs in all correspondence, of course, so they don't have to pay to write back to you.

Never be afraid of selling your book. In your pitch letter, hype up its best qualities.

Of course, none of this has worked for me yet, but one of these days...

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Posted: 10 Mar 06, 19:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

fatty wrote:

Yeah but her guide dog keeps growling at me.

fatty


Aye, ye got a face like a well skelped erse.

Lisser user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 11 Mar 06, 00:24 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

That was so funny when Pieter had to give the phone to you in Florida bc I couldn't understand him!! I hope he doesn't get pissed at me.

:)


Wo ist das kamerahhhhhhhhhhh!!!



NJ!!!























Munchsack user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 11 Mar 06, 03:53 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote


Thanks fatty! You're the best.
P.S. Whit's this aboot me being a post-op?


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Munchsack user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 11 Mar 06, 09:38 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote


No, I do not. Fatty is a married man and I am an upstanding citizen of the community. I would never do anything like that.


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Erin user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 11 Mar 06, 10:11 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Lisser wrote:

That was so funny when Pieter had to give the phone to you in Florida bc I couldn't understand him!! I hope he doesn't get pissed at me.

:)


Woman..his accent ain't even that strong. I wish you could hear a Glaswegian! ;-D

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Posted: 11 Mar 06, 16:09 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I wouldn't wish that on anyone

fatty.

Lisser user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 11 Mar 06, 16:27 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Erin wrote:

Lisser wrote:

That was so funny when Pieter had to give the phone to you in Florida bc I couldn't understand him!! I hope he doesn't get pissed at me.

:)


Woman..his accent ain't even that strong. I wish you could hear a Glaswegian! ;-D


What in the haaeelll is a Glaswegian? Are they on Star Wars?


Wo ist das kamerahhhhhhhhhhh!!!



NJ!!!























-fatty- 2850 user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 11 Mar 06, 16:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

They make Tusken Raiders look sophisticated.

fatty.

Erin user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 11 Mar 06, 21:54 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

fatty wrote:

They make Tusken Raiders look sophisticated.

fatty.


Haha..fatty's a Star Wars geek! ;-)

Crazy LittleThing user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 12 Mar 06, 00:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Everyone knows Munchsack is a pre-op.


I saved Spike's life in 'Nam.
Munchsack user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 12 Mar 06, 03:42 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Lisser wrote:



What in the haaeelll is a Glaswegian? Are they on Star Wars?


A person from Glasgow. Quite hard to understand if you aren't familiar with a Scottish accent. Sometimes even I have to ask them to repeat things, so don't feel bad.


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Munchsack user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 12 Mar 06, 03:42 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Crazy LittleThing wrote:

Everyone knows Munchsack is a pre-op.


What is that supposed to mean?


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Crazy LittleThing user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 12 Mar 06, 13:48 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Munchsack wrote:

Crazy LittleThing wrote:

Everyone knows Munchsack is a pre-op.


What is that supposed to mean?


Nothing sinister. I was merely defending your honor as an upstanding citizen against those here who would gratuitously claim you are a post-op.


I saved Spike's life in 'Nam.