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brENsKi user not visiting Queenzone.com
How shall we f**k off, Oh Lord
brENsKi
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Posted: 13 Mar 06, 12:32 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through
to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
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Samsung Electronics
Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I
need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack
before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
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RAC Motoring Services
Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling
in Australia?"
Operator: " Doesn't the product give you a clue?"
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Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France):
"If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to
the other side of the car?"
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Directory Enquiries
Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell
off".
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Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".
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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box
told a worried operator:
"I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number
on".
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Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
Customer: "OK".
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No".
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
point?".
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".
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Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see
the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
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Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised
that I need it.
If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
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There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a
long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a
true story fro m the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a
recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the
Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word
Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now


go deo na hÉireann
Micrówave user not visiting Queenzone.com
Delilah, on Medium Power
Micrówave
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Posted: 13 Mar 06, 12:35 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Another winner from Brenski!!!

Bohardy user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 14 Mar 06, 10:49 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Absolute urban mythery, all of it, and to top it off, the last one is a good 3-4 years old.


Gullibility and credulity are considered undesirable qualities in every department of human life -- except religion.
YourValentine user not visiting Queenzone.com
registered July 27th 2001
YourValentine
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Posted: 14 Mar 06, 11:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Yes but even though they may not be true, they are at least made up nicely:)


I do not want any google ads here.

scallyuk user not visiting Queenzone.com

Bohemian: 297 posts
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Posted: 14 Mar 06, 11:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

These however are definitely real.

http://rapidshare.de/files/14331678/answerphone.wav
http://rapidshare.de/files/14331713/BTI.mp3

The answerphone message was passed to the Nuisance calls team because of the threats it contained and the other was definitely recorded in a BT call center in the UK.






"amateurs practice till they get it right, professionals practice till they can't get it wrong"
Bohardy user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 14 Mar 06, 14:39 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

That second one is absolute quality Scally!

I'd have been pissing myself if that happened to me.


Gullibility and credulity are considered undesirable qualities in every department of human life -- except religion.