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mr mercury user not visiting Queenzone.com
Adam who?????
mr mercury
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Posted: 25 Mar 06, 19:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for the last two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the Chemist and buys a pregnancy kit.

The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father and the mother, and the man tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take
charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a £2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a £4,000,000 bank account.

If it's twins, they will receive a factory and £2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the girls father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him ...

”You shag her again."


"Normally i can't dance to save my life.

But as soon as I step in dog shit, I can moonwalk better than Michael Jackson."
Carrots Of The Piratebean user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 26 Mar 06, 05:49 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Heh heh!!!!! Not bad that one


I'm saying nothing.....
Pheobe user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 26 Mar 06, 06:00 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Heres another

An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this really bad flatulence problem, but they don't stink and don't make a sound." The doctor says "O.K., take two of these pills every day for two weeks and come back." A week later the lady comes back really mad and says, "Now, not only do I fart a lot, but they stink really bad!"

The doctor then said, "Now that we have your sinuses cleared, let's work on your hearing!"


"Born free,

Till somebody caught me

Now I'm doing solitary...." Norman Stanley Fletcher (Ronnie Barker in "Porridge")
Carol! the Musical user not visiting Queenzone.com
Carol! the Musical
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Posted: 26 Mar 06, 14:11 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Lol, good ones!


-Things Have Changed For Me-
Munchsack user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 26 Mar 06, 15:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote


Nice. I knew that second one already, though.


This can't end well.
blerp user not visiting Queenzone.com
blerp
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Posted: 26 Mar 06, 15:53 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Pheobe wrote:

Heres another

An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this really bad flatulence problem, but they don't stink and don't make a sound." The doctor says "O.K., take two of these pills every day for two weeks and come back." A week later the lady comes back really mad and says, "Now, not only do I fart a lot, but they stink really bad!"

The doctor then said, "Now that we have your sinuses cleared, let's work on your hearing!"


You know, that reminds me of the time I was in a clothing shop with my sisters...This lady and her daughter were near us, and the mother farted really close to where we were...Horrible smell, I think she did it as a hate crime


I'm so pissed I could spit.