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Posted: 07 Apr 06, 23:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Maybe we could make a Queenzoner's trilogy of funny Queen stories, along with "The Egg Story!"
It works like: you add on parts where the other person left off, but please, let's stay on topic unlike that other story we did, lol
John went downstairs early one Fall morning and rummaged through the cabinets, looking for some Grape Nuts to perhaps give his dormant bowels a good blast since he hadn't had a movement since god knows when. Suddenly, Freddie appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Good morning, John dear," He said in a slurred tone. "Oh," John jumped and nearly spilled little crunches of Grape Nuts all over the marble counter and onto the linoleum floor. "You gave me a fright...How are you this morning? And, um, might I ask why you have a lacy black thong snagged on your right ear?"



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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 00:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Oh, this thing?" Freddie gingerly removed the undergarment from his ear. "Well, let's just say that things got a little...hectic last night."
"You don't say?" John replied, sitting down to his Grape Nuts.
"I'd rather not talk about it," as Freddie slumped down into his chair at the table.
A moment of silence passed before Roger was heard to exclaim from the upper floor:
"HEY FREDDIE! THERE'S A BUNCH OF NAKED PEOPLE AND CLOTHES IN YOUR ROOM! D'YOU WANT ME TO KICK THEM OUT?"



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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 15:19 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

come on this topic is slow let's have a story!


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 18:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Roger went on to his room without waiting for a response.


life is like a box of chocolates...stuffed with individuals.

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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 18:10 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Roger had had two cups of coffee that day (more than one gives him gas) and the next minute he let off a series of loud but not smelly farts.

"Cor..." he whispered.
"I heard that," said Brian, standing near the door.


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 18:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Oh, would you just go away!", Roger shouted, and threw a teapot at Brian's head.


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 18:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Oh,Brian,it...'twas my foot rubbing against this, erm...chair." Roger bit his lip and, realising that there was no chair within foot's reach, announced: "I think a duck got stuck in my closet and choked on one of my socks..Erm.."


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 18:42 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

John was secretly jealous at Roger for being able to fart and poured himself another bowl of grapenuts.


life is like a box of chocolates...stuffed with individuals.

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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 19:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

After John finished his bowl, he thought he could feel the beginnings of an actual bowel movement. Excited, he walked to the bathroom and sat on the toilet. The feeling went away, and he felt completely in despair.


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 19:12 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Why so down, John dear?" Freddie inquired as John desolately slid onto the sofa and began to sulk.
"Well, I just ate about 10 bowls of Grape Nuts and I tried to have a movement..." John was now on the verge of crying...."But only FARTED."


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 19:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Eww, you farted?" said Freddie, sliding down the couch a little. "I'm getting away from you!"
"Immature!" John said loudly after Freddie as he skipped away.

John was probably in the worst mood ever, and no one was making it better.

Back to Brian and Roger. Roger kneeled by Brian's side, calling his name and trying to wake him up. Brian finally opened his eyes.

"Where...Where am I?" he muttered. "Who...Who am I? Who...Who are you?"
"Erm...I'm Roger, your friend."
"Where are my clothes?"
"You're wearing them right now."


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 19:28 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Brian, I'm very sorry for knocking you out," Roger began, and paused to nibble on a fingernail. "I don't like having attention drawn to me when I, umm...pass gas."
Brian's eyes widened. He was obviously fully conscious now. "You FARTED! Oh, yeah! Now I remember!" Brian leapt on his feet as if the floor had been spring loaded and bounded out of the room, chanting, "Roger FARTED! Roger FARTED!!!" And whooped with laughter.


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 19:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Freddie and Brian collided headlong and paused.

"What is all this talk about flatulence?" asked Freddie.
"I dunno...But it sure is smelly business."


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 19:51 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Mine did NOT smell!!" yelled Roger from his room.


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 19:59 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Oh, Rog, dear, don't be ashamed; I'm sure your farts smell delightful!" Freddie quipped playfully, and merrily pranced into Roger's room and tackled him at the knees.
"Freddie, stop-I don't think I'm quite over-"
Roger was interrupted when he ripped a giant fart that rumbled within the floorboards.
"That," he finished shyly, blushing DayGlo red.
Freddie grimaced and backed out of the room as if Roger had been extraterrestrial.


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 20:20 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Roger hung his head in sheer embarrasment while he watched Brian stomp his feet, chanting "We will, we will, fart you!"
"That's not even funny, you idiot!", Roger shouted.
"Yes it iiiis!!" Brian retorted, giggling away.


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 20:28 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

While all of this was going on, John was on the ledge of the roof. He didn't know wether or not he wanted to jump. Sure he had his family...but anyone who had to deal with those three men would understand...


life is like a box of chocolates...stuffed with individuals.

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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 20:45 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"AAAAAAH THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL ME!!" Freddie shouted at the top of his lungs, smile plastered on his face. "Where's my bloody gas mask?!"


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 20:55 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"Here," Roger picked up the black thong sitting on the kitchen floor and thrust it in Freddie's face.
"Eew," Freddie peeled the thong off of his face and examined it with disdain. "Whose is this?"
"Whoever was with you last night," Roger picked up the box of grape nuts and read the nutrition label, wondering why John ate the stuff.
"A girl or boy?" Freddie pressed, still looking over the object that daintily suspended from his fingers.
"I dunno," Roger reached in the box and pulled out a grape nut. He grinned and threw it at Freddie.
"HEY, JOHN! GET OFF OF THAT ROOF!" Brian's wretched screaming so rudely shattered their playful moment.


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Posted: 08 Apr 06, 21:04 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

"NO!" cried John, whipping his fists everywhere. "YOU LOT DO NOT, AND I MEAN, DO NOT, GET MY CONSTIPATION TROUBLES!" he began sobbing hysterically.

"What is constipation?" asked Brian quietly to himself. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a small dictionary.


I'm so pissed I could spit.