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Posted: 14 Apr 06, 17:29 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote




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Posted: 14 Apr 06, 17:31 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote




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Posted: 14 Apr 06, 19:14 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

**chews fingernails and kicks legs back**


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Posted: 14 Apr 06, 19:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I like it. I especially like your descriptions of Luce and the other characters.

I also thought it was just plain old funny how the apothecary man was just lying in the dirt, haw.

I should try reviving my Fairy Feller story, but...eh.


I'm so pissed I could spit.
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Posted: 14 Apr 06, 23:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote




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Posted: 15 Apr 06, 00:30 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

childwhoevery1hates wrote:

Thank you, ladymercury but...
I need MORE FEEDBACK!! *Salivates all over keyboard out of sheer lack of appraisal from other queenzoners*
Everyone says these forums are boring and when I tried to post my story, no one bothers to read...??
I can't make my writing better if no one says anything about it!


I just read it, I *love* it! :-D You created the perfect atmosphere to your story, and atmosphere is everything!


-Things Have Changed For Me-
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Posted: 15 Apr 06, 08:43 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote




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Posted: 15 Apr 06, 09:22 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

**sobs**


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Posted: 15 Apr 06, 10:27 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I've read at least one novella which is entirely in dialogue.

ETA - It's not a bad thing. You have your dialogue tags. My suggestion is to cut down on the dialogue tags to make it all go faster.

And please, oh PLEASE put line spaces between dialogue, just like they do in books. When something is all crowded up like this, I don't read. It's too much trouble.

(Well, I usually don't read other stuff, anyway).


:)


"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely." - Ogden Nash
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Posted: 15 Apr 06, 10:27 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

^I hope that isn't a bad thing...


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Posted: 15 Apr 06, 10:28 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

If you all would like, I'll post my next chapter tonight


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Posted: 15 Apr 06, 10:35 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'm sorry I was just trying to get all of the stuff to fit...


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Posted: 15 Apr 06, 10:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

It's just a suggestion. And you're not the only one I've ever seen do it, and this is not the only fandom where I've seen it.


"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely." - Ogden Nash
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Posted: 15 Apr 06, 12:21 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Oh! I know what the problem is; I did put spaces on the word document but they showed up very small on the post in this thread.
Anyway, would anyone like to read the next chapter?! I swear it's not all this serious...


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Posted: 15 Apr 06, 13:49 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

LOVE IT DARLING!!!

ITS GREAT!

Keep posting!
I usually never really liked fantasy type stories, with the exception of Harry Potter, but all this talent is really getting me interested... now i must go to the bookstore and track one down... :P



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Posted: 15 Apr 06, 14:54 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

its definatley unique. I'd like to see how it ends


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Freedom from choice is what you want



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Posted: 15 Apr 06, 17:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hey some good stuff here! I like the character of Luce. It's cool to see fans who are really into Queen's work that is not well known. If I were to start talking about Fairy Feller's Masterstroke to my "queen fan" friends they would most liley go "wtf"? . lol

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Posted: 16 Apr 06, 10:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote




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Posted: 16 Apr 06, 10:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote




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Posted: 16 Apr 06, 14:26 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

*sigh*


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