After every Quantas Airlines flight, the pilot fills in a form of things wrong with the plane. Engineers then fix the problems before the plane takes off again and write up the measures they have taken to fix the problems. These are all things that were actually put on these forms.
Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement
Almost replaced left inside main tyre
Test flight OK, except Auto-Land very rough on this aircraft
Auto-Land not installed on this aircraft
Something loose in cockpit
Something tightened in cockpit
Dead bugs on windshield
Live bugs on back order
Evidence of leak on right landing gear
Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
That's what they're there for
Suspected crack in windshield
Confirmed crack in windshield
Aircraft handles funny
Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious
Target radar hums
Target radar reprogrammed with lyrics
Mouse in cockpit
P.S. Quantas is, incidentally, the only major airline never to have had an accident.
This can't end well.