The video link http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/04/29.html#a8104
Colbert Lampoons Bush at White House Correspondents Dinner-- President Not
By E&P Staff
Published: April 29, 2006 11:40 PM ET
WASHINGTON A blistering comedy “tribute” to President Bush by Comedy Central’s
faux talk show host Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondent Dinner
Saturday night left George and Laura Bush unsmiling at its close.
Earlier, the president had delivered his talk to the 2700 attendees, including
many celebrities and top officials, with the help of a Bush impersonator.
Colbert, who spoke in the guise of his talk show character, who ostensibly
supports the president strongly, urged the Bush to ignore his low approval
ratings, saying they were based on reality, “and reality has a well-known
He attacked those in the press who claim that the shake-up at the White House
was merely re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. “This administration is
soaring, not sinking,” he said. “If anything, they are re-arranging the deck
chairs on the Hindenburg.”
Colbert told Bush he could end the problem of protests by retired generals by
refusing to let them retire. He compared Bush to Rocky Balboa in the “Rocky”
movies, always getting punched in the face—“and Apollo Creed is everything else
in the world.”
Turning to the war, he declared, "I believe that the government that
governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have
set up a fabulous government in Iraq."
He noted former Ambassador Joseph Wilson in the crowd, just three tables away
from Karl Rove, and that he had brought " Valerie Plame." Then,
worried that he had named her, he corrected himself, as Bush aides might do,
"Uh, I mean... he brought Joseph Wilson's wife." He might have
"dodged the bullet," he said, as prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald wasn't
Colbert also made biting cracks about missing WMDs, “photo ops” on aircraft
carriers and at hurricane disasters, melting glaciers and Vice President Cheney
shooting people in the face. He advised the crowd, "if anybody needs
anything at their tables, speak slowly and clearly on into your table numbers
and somebody from the N.S.A. will be right over with a cocktail. "
Observing that Bush sticks to his principles, he said, "When the president
decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no matter what
Also lampooning the press, Colbert complained that he was “surrounded by the
liberal media who are destroying this country, except for Fox News. Fox believes
in presenting both sides of the story — the president’s side and the vice
president’s side." He also reflected on the alleged good old days, when the
media was still swallowing the WMD story.
Addressing the reporters, he said, "Let's review the rules. Here's how it
works. The president makes decisions, he’s the decider. The press secretary
announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions
down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to
know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking
around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter
with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know--fiction."
He claimed that the Secret Service name for Bush's new press secretary is
Colbert closed his routine with a video fantasy where he gets to be White House
Press Secretary, complete with a special “Gannon” button on his podium. By the
end, he had to run from Helen Thomas and her questions about why the U.S. really
invaded Iraq and killed all those people.
As Colbert walked from the podium, when it was over, the president and First
Lady gave hi
"Ladies and gentlemen... I guess that takes in most of you..." Groucho Marx, 'A Night at the Opera'