Yay, a monkey thread.
Chimps aren't stupid in the slightest though. Sell all your stuff and find a copy of Carl Sagan's book "The Dragons of Eden" (better yet - marry Paul McCartney and sell *his* stuff).
There is a chapter about chimpanzees being taught sign language and how to use these primitive computers from the 70's and shit.
*Washoe the chimp knew the words 'water' and 'bird', but had never seen a duck, so she called it a 'water bird' which is pretty much what we call ducks.
*Lucy hadn't seen a watermelon before, and thus described it a 'drink fruit'.
*When Washoe tasted a radish for the first time, she called it 'cry hurt food'. Obviously burnt her mouth or something.
*One of them saw a rhesus monkey and repeatedly signed 'dirty monkey, dirty monkey, dirty monkey' - the word dirty had been taught to them for use when they'd soiled furniture or clothing. So they obviously think rhesus monkey suck.
*One chimp called Lana was irritated at it's trainer and called it 'you green shit'.
*Another chimp tried sign language on a cat. It didn't work.
*When the foster mother of one of the chimps left, it said 'cry me, me cry'.
*They find movies about chimpanzees more interesting than movies about humans. (I'd love to make an action adventure with chimps in it just to give them something better to watch than "Anatomy of the Chimpanzee").
*The ones that learnt how to use the computer would sometimes (in the middle of the night) request "Please, machine, tickle Lana".
*One of the trainers kept sabotaging the computer so that the chimp couldn't complete typing it's request. Eventually, the chimp got irritated and wrote a new sentence: "Please, Tim, leave room".
I'm telling you, we don't treat the chimpanzees well enough. They are frigging unbelievably intelligent compared to the idea we have of them that they're stupid hippies living in the woods. They clearly have emotions, they have filthy senses of humour, and they clap when something funny happens.
And to think we *insult* these poor fellas by comparing them to World Leaders we're not happy with.
Yep. I love chimpanzees, by the way.