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Gone. user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 16 Jul 06, 17:48 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

OMG! you poor thing. I have the same exact problem. My dad is a nearly-alchcolic and its driving my family mad! I just deal with it and dont ask people for help. I dunno what to do anymore though...im confused!

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Posted: 16 Jul 06, 17:49 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I hope that this problem will be solved in your family. I do feel very bad for you and can relate to your problem. I hope it works out. Perhaps if you go to therapy with your whole family..

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Posted: 16 Jul 06, 18:40 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

The natural reaction to an alcoholic is trying to help and some families spend years and years trying to help and cover up.

The truth is that you cannot help. Your father has to get help by his own choice and the more the family helps and covers up, the longer it will take for him to admit to having a problem. Denial is more common for an alcoholic than any other drug addict. It sounds cruel but you have to abandon him and let him solve it by himself. There is counselling for families of alcoholics and they will tell you just the same. You must understand that there is nothing for you to be ashamed of. Alcoholism is a disease and nothing shameful. As long as you cannot move out and have to put up with the situation, try to distance yourself from it and don't let it ruin your life. I know it's easier said than done but it's the only way.


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Carol! the Musical user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 16 Jul 06, 19:17 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

That's awful! :'( I really, really hope things get better with your family. My dad didn't drink, but he used to fight a lot with my mom, and I kept hearing these rows at night, so I can relate.
Your family will be in my prayers.


-Things Have Changed For Me-
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Posted: 16 Jul 06, 23:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I dont know how to help with this problem specifically. But i've had a similar experience with an uncle of mine and drugs.
He also has minor "mental" problems, but they are completely controllable as long as he is willing to keep them that way. Hes done it before. But now its worse then ever and my families done everything under the sun to help him. And he j/ keeps on being a leech and manipulating everyone and lying.
Same thing with yourself hed say "no ill do better, I'm fine" etc etc, but we know the truth...And he doesnt care anymore. My best friends mom has the same problems. But shes cleaned herself up because my friend said she wouldnt talk to her again if she didnt clean herself up. And now shes on her last legs of rehab... Theres more to it, but this isnt about me, so i apologize for taking up so much space. but back to the issue at hand here...

At this point dear, the best thing i can say is you have gone to others asking for help. But maybe if in one of his moments of clarity if you sit down and talk to him about it, maybe he can see it a bit more if he hears it directly from his own flesh and blood. And if not then as hard as it is, is you will just have to some how let him go his own way. Because at that point once everyone has let him know that hes got a problem, its in his own hands to get help or not. Because in the case with my uncle, everyones doen everything under the sun to help him, but hes got to be able to help himself too.

But the most difficult thing is when youve reached that point and theres nothing more you can do.
But i hope things can work out for you. My thoughts, prayers and sympathies go out to you and your family completely my dear.
Good luck.

Feel free to email me anytime if you need to talk. I'm good for venting about anything.

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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 04:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

YourValentine wrote:

The natural reaction to an alcoholic is trying to help and some families spend years and years trying to help and cover up.

The truth is that you cannot help. Your father has to get help by his own choice and the more the family helps and covers up, the longer it will take for him to admit to having a problem. Denial is more common for an alcoholic than any other drug addict. It sounds cruel but you have to abandon him and let him solve it by himself. There is counselling for families of alcoholics and they will tell you just the same. You must understand that there is nothing for you to be ashamed of. Alcoholism is a disease and nothing shameful. As long as you cannot move out and have to put up with the situation, try to distance yourself from it and don't let it ruin your life. I know it's easier said than done but it's the only way.


110 % truth here ... my own father was an alcoholic. you are not guilty, no shame, you can't help or solve his problem ! get him out as fast as possible. there is nothing more you can do. sorry to say that.
f.

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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 05:41 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I am more or less teetotal these days; all round me I see people whose lives depend on drink, and it's put me right off it. They are not 'alcoholics' in the usual definition, but drinking is their main hobby, and its what they spend most of their money on.

Its hypocritical that 'drugs' are illegal here, but yet the most popular pastime is getting drunk, and that is seen as perfectly acceptable.

I'm not against the occasional drink, I'm not against getting drunk once every now and then, but its all that some people want to do, and it bores me now. It's even got to the point where the conversation amongst my friends is mostly about different types or beer!

Micrówave user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 13:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Oh shut up and go get your Dad another beer!

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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 13:37 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Mircrowave! wrote:

Oh shut up and go get your Dad another beer!

Shut up, you dumbshit. >:(


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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 13:52 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Mircrowave! wrote:

Oh shut up and go get your Dad another beer!


Completely distasteless...
You should stick your hand in a Microwave for that comment...


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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 13:55 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Mircrowave! wrote:

Oh shut up and go get your Dad another beer!




That is not nice at all...tsk tsk tsk...someone is asking for advice and you have to just throw it in their face like that...you should be ashamed of yourself...

disgusting >:(

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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 16:34 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

If you thought I was really serious, then I am an A*hole.


I thought a good wise crack was needed there.



Didn't mean to poo-poo on your day. I will Microwave myself. Besides, isn't a counselor or someone more qualified to handle this kind of question? The wrong advice may end up making the whole situation worse.

Especially advice from a 13, 15, or 16 year old.


flash! 28068 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 16:49 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I don't think jokes are necessary when a personal, sensitive issue arises. Just saying. Maybe a more less upsetting joke would be better that doesn't relate directly to the source of her family problems. :D


"It’s not often we play in daylight, and I fucking well wish we did before, I can see you all now. And there are some beauties here tonight, I can tell you!" ;)
Micrówave user not visiting Queenzone.com
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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 16:52 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Agreed, and again I wasn't trying to offend, just lighten it up a bit. Apologies. But then, we're getting one-sided info and nothing that implies abuse other than "he looks drunk".
Maybe she's just mad at her Dad right now. Who knows?






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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 16:54 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I'm sure you'll be forgiven. Now, is your name something else or can you really heat me up some hot dogs??


"It’s not often we play in daylight, and I fucking well wish we did before, I can see you all now. And there are some beauties here tonight, I can tell you!" ;)
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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 16:58 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

No, my name is Jim. But I can heat you up some dogs. I prefer mine boiled. Have you tried Johnsonville Brats? They're my favorite right now...

Gone. user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 17:00 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

ooooh!!! Id like some! lol

flash! 28068 user not visiting Queenzone.com

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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 17:00 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

It's a shame you're not a BBQ facility. You could of done us some chicken wings. Never mind.


"It’s not often we play in daylight, and I fucking well wish we did before, I can see you all now. And there are some beauties here tonight, I can tell you!" ;)
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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 17:13 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

To Quonkers: If you're the praying type, just ask God for help and maybe he'll send you a ray of hope for your rough times.

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Posted: 17 Jul 06, 17:14 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

BBQ? Chicken wings?

Let me fix some smoked brisket, fried Okra, pan-seared ribs, some dirty rice, now that's a BBQ.

ewwww, I just slobbered on my keyboard.