Please state your name for the record : Caspar L. Mulders
How many ? : 42.
Do you have any siblings ? : 2 half-brothers, a half sister
Any siblings that you wish to kill ? : my lawyer has advised me against answering.
Any siblings that you have killed ? : see above
How far do you live from the nearest gas station ? : about a mile
Miles vs. Kilos, who wins ? : It's all luck of the draw (I don't know what you're talking about, you see)
You're drunk as hell, what side of the road do you accidentally drive on ? : Providing I can still find the road, the part of it which doesn't keep spinning around
But can you even drive ? : No. Why?
Have you tried ? : Errr...let's make that a 'no', shall we?
How many songs've you got on your MP3 player ? : I hate MP3.
How many are Queen ? : See above
Should those crazy Americans get rid of the penny ? : No, they should get rid of their PRESIDENT. It starts with the same letter, but still...
What was the first CD or album you bought with your own money ? : I don't recall, honestly. That's a long time ago.
With your lunch money ? : None.
How many nights have you gone without sleep before ? : One
Did you ever have a crush on someone from a "boy-band", you awful teenager ? : I'm straight. So no.
If it said "Drink Me", would you ? : Depends. If it didn't appear to be a bio-hazzard and I was thirsty, I'd consider it.
Did you ever name a pet after a member of Queen ? : Nope.
Did you ever name a pet after a member of Queen's pet ? : Nope.
If you were an animal, you would be a ... : Fuck if I know.
What animal do you think Freddie Mercury resembled, if any ? : A human. Slightly.
Did you ever send the President of America a pretzel ? : No. But if it's poisoned, I'd consider it.
Did you ever send Keith Richards a coconut ? : I don't think he would appreciate it very much.
Isn't it awful that we spend 1/3 of our lives asleep ? : Yes. Should be 2/3.
Do you like tomatoes : Some of them are quite nice, but most of them have goo for brains.
Does beer interest you ? : Not usually.
If you could steal any car, it would be... : I don't want a car.
If you were upset, would you throw something ? : ...or someone.
At someone's head ? : No. I have a better chance of hitting them in the head if I aim for the wall three yards to their left.
Have you ever seen someone wear a pink jump-suit ? : Yes. And it wasn't pleasant to look at.
Who wasn't Freddie ? : Yes?
In person ? : Sadly, yes.
And were you the one in the spandex pants and purple heels ? : I wear jeans and biker boots, love. Exclusively.
Would you name a wine "Gallo" ? : Hell no.
Do you know what "gallo" means in Spanish ? : No, nor would I care.
When in school did you have a fake wedding, or play Star Wars ? : that is very, very sick, you know. Even if you're 5.
If you had a fake wedding, was it consumated ? : Dream on.
Did anyone ever get squished by a snowball at your school ? : Hahaha. Yes.
And after that, they wouldn't let you build snow-forts ? : Heavens no. They couldn't care less.
Did high-schoolers sneak onto your school's track to play cricket after school ? : Only the British are daft enough to play cricket.
Isn't mustard icky ? : No???
The fuck am I answering all these questions ?! : Because you didn't ask me nicely. Makes sense, huh?
The last book you read was ? : Lord Of The Rings, for the somanieth time. Like the good hippie I am :-)
Right now, you're listening to : Silence.
You know I could keep doing this forever, right ? : Ah well, at least you're doing SOMETHING with your life. Not something CONSTRUCTIVE, but it's a start. I'm glad you're no longer vegetating.
So, you're glad I'm stopping ? : I honestly couldn't care.
Not Plutus but Apollo rules Parnassus