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AspiringPhilosophe user not visiting
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Posted: 24 Nov 06, 23:33 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Hello all...I need a little advice, and since no one ever comments on my blog I guess this is the way it will have to be done.
I've got a friend I went to high school with...a nice guy. Friend of my ex boyfriend actually (he had a crush on me for a while, but that's not important). I've always considered him a good friend of mine.
After high school we lost contact. But through other friends in our group I found out that he had met a woman from Stirling, Ontario on the internet and had gone up there to marry her. OK, that sounded alittle weird to me, but fine. She's ten years older than him with two kids....definately starting to raise some eyebrows, but I didn't press anything. I get his e-mail address from my friend Adam, and send him an e-mail, just to see how he is doing. He tells me all the stuff about being married and being so happy...and being Christian and getting more Evangelical every day. OK...big warning flags here. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-religion or anything, but he was NEVER this way in high school, and was probably more critical of religion than me in high school (I was still trying to have some kind of faith at the time, I thought he'd given up on it).
I just caught up with him on myspace, and I'm really starting to get freaked out for him. The new pics he put up (shaved head and all) are VERY VERY creepy; evil looking almost. Then he's writing a blog filled with stuff like this:

The movement is happening now... All i can say is that i am happy to be a part of it and happy to be marked as all Believers are marked by God to be used as instruments in his Kingdom on this earth... This is the time of our Lord, this is the time of the Harvest... A time of Revival in the Land God created... God is preparing all believers for the battle that is to come.... His Army!!! He will have dominion here!! Now is the time to act and spread the message, The Great Commission!!! Make Disciples of of all nations!!!
and this!!:

To think that all that was enough to get me out of that depressed state i was in.... Nope it wasnt, it took a dream i had of a guy named Billy Graham (probably one of the most well known Evangelists in the world) for him to walk up to me and say some really uplifting things to me and that God is in control and that he has a plan!! Sure enough i woke from that and felt like a 1000 times better.... the depressed state i was in was no more

So, I'm scared to death for my friend. It's sounding very cultish to me. He meets a woman and moves to Canada in a very short period of time, doesn't have regular contact with his family anymore I know (I saw him Mom tonight and she was telling me about it). He's done a complete 180 on the religious thing, posting stuff like that online, and the creepy pictures....I'm worried his into some kind of Armageddon Cult of some kind. What should I do about this? He already knows my religious views are non-existant, so I'll be lucky if he even talks to me again (although he did add me as a friend on myspace). What does anyone else here think? I need opinions here...I just don't know

Formerly MHG
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Posted: 24 Nov 06, 23:42 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Well, as long as he's happy and the cult is not self-destructive, I'd say, "To each his own."

However, we all know that many times cults can be self-destructive, but it's not right to immediately jump to conclusions like that.

Either way, I guess it's better to be ignorant and happy than informed and miserable. We've all just got one life to live, and happiness is happiness, no matter what strange forms it may come in. As his friend, though, I suppose you should look into it and make sure that this happiness is sustainable (as opposed to self-destructive cults).

Creativity can always cover for a lack of knowledge.
Lisser user not visiting
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Posted: 25 Nov 06, 02:07 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

There really isn't much you can do Maggie,except be a good friend. As long as you know he's not going to hurt himself or others while involved with this could be cult, just let him be. If you find out though that he has plans to hurt himself or others, you have to report it.

People change and many times people that are generally unhappy will look for alternative/different people to try and fit in with. People they wouldn't normally associate with bc they've exhausted all other types and wound up frustrated or hurt by them. This could be a long phase he goes through. More than likely he's been unhappy with his life and is looking for acceptance. Most cults are full of vulnerable people looking for love and acceptance where they haven't been able to find it before.

Keep in touch with him as much as possible and be as supportive and non judgemental as you can so the communication lines stay open between the two of you. At the very least, he'll know he can come to you if he feels like he wants out and you'll not say you told him so. No one likes to admit they've been wrong. I have many friends that do things I don't agree with but I don't pass my beliefs onto them because I want them to know I'll always be there for them even after whatever destructive behavior they are partaking in hurts them or steers them wrong. I'll only step in if physical harm might happen. Sooner or later they realize it and they are very grateful that I've been there for them no matter what and didn't act like I was better or smarter than them bc they made a mistake, everyone makes mistakes. I know that isn't what you are thinking with regard to your friend, you are just concerned. But be careful how you show your concern. You'll do the right thing.


Wo ist das kamerahhhhhhhhhhh!!!


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Posted: 25 Nov 06, 06:02 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

he sounds a little hypnotized over there. but anyway, if your friend is happy, just, leave him be.

magicalfreddiemercury user not visiting
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Posted: 25 Nov 06, 08:42 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

I know everyone is saying if he's happy you should leave him alone, but this doesn't sound happy to me, it sounds whacked.

If it were me, because I can't stand not-knowing certain things, I'd pass on his myspace info to people who know and love him, like his parents, siblings and other close friends. The more people involved who knew the guy before all this, the better sense you'll have regarding how he is now. If everyone agrees something isn't right, together you can figure out how/whether to intervene.

"The others don't like my interviews. And frankly, I don't care much for theirs." ~ Freddie Mercury

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Posted: 25 Nov 06, 09:08 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

AspiringPhilosophe user not visiting
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Posted: 25 Nov 06, 13:20 Edit this post Reply to this post Reply with Quote

Thanks for the advice, everyone. You've all said pretty much the same things that I was told last night when I was talking to Sir GH about this, so at least I know which direction I should head.
Basically, you are all right in that I can't do anything, especially with him in Canada and me down here. I did message him on Myspace, basically just opening up the lines of communication again. He said he missed all of his friends in Greenville in one of the blogs, so I asked if he could get down here for a visit, we'd all plan something so we could hang out. I also just said that if he ever needed anyone to talk to, he knew how to get a hold of me.
I do understand what you are saying, Donna. Problem is I'm really the only one with time to devote to this if needed (and even I don't have all of that much). Everyone else from our circle of friends is married, several with new children to take care of (and one with a child that has need of several surgeries); they are worried about him, of course, but they are starting lives with their families, and couldn't really do much of anything without it being a big hassle to "bring the wife/kids" and "find time off of work" and stuff. As the only single/childless person remaining in the group, I'm really the only one with the freedom to do much of anything, if stuff needs to get done...all I have to worry about is me. And believe me...worry I do! Entirely too much, actually. I'm trying to fix that, with the help of some of my other very good friends.
Obviously if I ever become aware of impending danger or harm to others, I'll report it. I just hope I become aware of it in time to do something; and I hope I can do something before it gets to that point, he always was very naive and trusting.

Formerly MHG